372 Pages We'll Never Get Back - Make Mike go to the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company!

I know it’s been brought up before, but I want to recommend the podcast 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back. Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson read through a veritable Island of Misfit Books, with frequent gems mined from the Dark Web, and it’s a delight. I would encourage anyone who enjoys Conor and/or Mike’s comic stylings to look through the list of books and listen to any of the episodes that sound good. If none of them jump out at you, “The Eye of Argon” is short, easy to find for free, and a total hoot.

But wait, there’s more! Mike and Conor have promised some bonuses if more people sign up for the Patreon. They’re currently reading Gump & Co., the sequel novel to Forrest Gump, despite the fact that Mike never even saw the movie (much discussion of how that affected his enjoyment of rap music videos ensued, obviously).

There are currently 851 Patreon subscribers. Here are the bonuses:

  • 863: Conor tries one of Forrest’s New Coke “improvements”
  • 873: Conor tries the other one
  • 883: Mike goes to the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co in the Mall of America!

Friends. Fellow MSTies. I just really, really want to hear Mike’s report on what it’s like at a Mall of America theme restaurant. Consider it, won’t we?


Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been listening to this podcast since nearly the beginning (definitely in the first book) and I’ve been curious about the Patreon overall. Getting Mike to eat at Bubba Gump may be worth it.

Guess I’ll have to start the first episode of Gump and Co that’s available to us NON-SUBSCRIBERS


This book is shockingly dumb but it’s a relatively easy read, so it’s a good place to jump in.

You wouldn’t, for example, want to jump in on Shadow Moon :scream:

UPDATE: Kudos to @MilasHubcap for doing this. I had meant to. I want Conor to drink awful things. He’s good at it.


You know if you did that cayenne pepper and vanilla extract one in coffee rather than New Coke, people would probably buy it.


The Patreon has fun bits, like Conor’s first-grade picture books and Mike’s musings on classical music. And of course, comments from other listeners! I feel like I get my rig maintenance worth, anyway. :grin:


So the Patreon is….a hell of a rig? Between all the fun stuff they mention and the early access to episodes….this may have just convinced me to bite the bullet and contribute!

Listening to the first episode certainly has me asking questions. Like Mike, I also have never seen Forrest Gump and have no plan to, so I’m also a bit lost.
As far as books I wish I read along with, Antigua is high on the list.


It actually doesn’t help much.

Yeah…it actually doesn’ t help much.

EDIT: I’ve read along with all the books except for Armada and Ready Player Two. Nothing in Ready Player One suggested that anything Ernest Cline ever wrote would be any different.

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I had people suggest RP1 to me or say “I heard about this book and thought of you!”

So I read the synopsis, was unimpressed, and never followed up. After 372 Pages, I was glad I didn’t read it. It’s main selling point (“it’s all the stuff you love!”) is kind of a lie- it’s teens talking about virtual versions of the stuff you like, but without any sense of logic to it really

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To be honest, prior to reading RP1 I had benign, vague, but not overly impressed feelings about the '80s, and with each reference I cringed more and more to now where I’m severely embarrassed about the '80s (which in Cline’s universe runs from about 1973-1998).

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Ooh! There were a ton of good bonuses during the Antigua episodes. Scrolling back and checking those out is very worth it. Especially Mike’s incredible 14/15 run at Real or Fanfic!

Also, I second Moviegique about the current book. I have seen Forrest Gump, and if anything, I think it makes the book more confusing. (As a fan of Chris Claremont’s X-Men run, I felt much the same way about Shadow Moon.)

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As someone who quotes movies and shows prettt frequently, even I was like “calm down dude, is super nerds know how to talk without referencing a movie every 5 seconds”

THAT made me wish I had been a supporter! It’s always my favorite part of the episode, RoFF, so that must have been amazing.

I’m a Spider-Man reader myself, so no real Claremont experience , but I always felt a little personally insulted when they’d go after him.


There was also a great edit done by a jackal done in a kind of “Miracle on Ice” style.

Hands down the worst book of the 20. But you can kind of see it: Claremont is used to working with an artist filling in gaps. In the book…it’s just words. So many words. Also…Willow!

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I love that “jackal” became the name for the fans

Right after they announced this book, my wife, completely unrelated and unironically, told me how much she loves that movie. And I have to admit…I enjoyed it when we watched it


I think the Jackals use that more than Mike & Conor do, but I also love it.

The problem with Shadow Moon isn’t Willow, though. Willow is what it is, but whatever else it is, it’s primarily a family/kiddie movie. The book is gruesome, dark, somewhat nihilistic, muddled, and at one point literally just describes the climax of Hellraiser.

So whenever there was a scene of gore, or humiliation of the 14-year-old heroine, or a nihilistic expression of despair, Mike would just say: “Willow!”

This is why it ranks at the bottom of the books, IMO. Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff is misanthropic and hates you on every page, but it’s written by Sean Penn, so you don’t have any right to complain—you knew what you were in for going in.

Someone picking up a book based on the movie Willow had reason to expect something lighter and more appropriate for younger audiences.


By the way, Mike and Conor did end up visiting the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and it was glorious. Mike’s expression when they announced Forrest Gump trivia. (The meme is from the last book we finished: Super Constitution.)

And, yes, Discourse, I do want to revive a six month old topic about some guys going to a goofy chain restaurant.