521. Santa Claus (1959)

“PICK IT UP KIDS. I’M FEELING FRISKY.”

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This episode also boasts one of my favorite MST3K movie intro moments ever:

Dr. Forrester: “Your movie today, Mark, is called Santa Claus. It’s a thoughtful, well shot documentary about the Crimean War.”

TV’s Frank, distraught over shaving his hair for Dr. F’s gift and only getting an old savings bond that’ll mature in 30 years in return: “IT’S A STUPID MEXICAN KIDS’ MOVIE!”

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WHICH REMINDS ME!!!

TV’s Frank’s savings bond FINALLY matures next year!

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There’s a lot of weirdness the narrator and characters don’t even deign to mention but Mike and the Bots zoom in on. Like the creepy dolls inexplicably wandering around Santa’s Observatory.

“Trilogy of Terror Dolls” indeed.

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THE EAR AND THE GIANT LIPS THAT SANTA USES AS PART OF HIS HEADQUARTERS SETUP, WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

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“HEY, COULD WE MOVE ON TO A COUNTRY WITH RHYTHM?”

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The reason I love it when they riff kids’ movies is that when they make kids’ movies, they’re not afraid to get really weird. There’s something about writing for children that seems to turn up a screenwriter’s creativity. Then when the riffers turn their grown-up eyes on the resulting weirdness, they can really hone in on the absurdity of it all. That’s why I love this one, the other Christmas movies, Jack Frost, Merlin’s Shop of Wonders, and, yes, even Munchie. (As episodes.)

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“The Pleasure Mouth!”

……there’s a definite Sid and Marty Krofft feel to that sequence. They were trying for fairy tale whimsy but had neither the budget or skill to pull it off. But oh was it loopy.

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“FEEL IT. GET DOWN WITH YOUR BAD SANTA SELF.”

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So true. The exaggerated expression of imagination for kids is a wealthy playground of comic advantage when you translate it to everyone else and that’s where the comedy comes in. With abandon.

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  1. I was thinking the exact same thing. Great minds think alike! Next year Frank could cash it in.

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As far as great callbacks are concerned, can I just say that I love it how Mike’s Secret Santa gift for Crow is the album “Every Day I Have to Cry” from Wild Rebels star Steve Alaimo?

This is a very real album with a crying theme for all the featured songs. The tracks include:

  • Every Day I Have to Cry
  • I Don’t Want to Cry
  • My Heart Cries for You
  • I Cried All the Way Home
  • Cry Me a River
  • I Wake Up Crying
  • Cry
  • She Cried
  • Don’t Cry
  • Cry of the Wild Goose
  • Cry Myself to Sleep
  • Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying
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“SANTA HAS A RICH FANTASY LIFE, I THINK.”

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Having a track simply called “Cry” mixed in amongst all the others makes me laugh, for some reason.
If only they were ordered from longest title to shortest, lol!

…Does this count as a concept album? Now there’s a horrifying thought.

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Heh, it DOES seem humorously concise, especially compared to just about everything else there.

I’m willing to allow it just to say that Steve Alaimo gave us a concept album.

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“YOU KNOW, IF SEASONAL HOLIDAY DEPRESSION HAS A SOUNDTRACK, THIS IS IT.”

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“HO! HO! HO! HO! HO! HO! HO! HEY!”

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On the host segments side, much has been made of “Merry Christmas (If That’s Okay)”, and understandably so. I loved having that track on the Clowns in the Sky CD when the MST3K Info Club sold that back in the day.

But “Whispering Christmas Warrior” is something of a sleeper track that’s MAD underrated.


And the closing of the SOL gang enjoying a snow day, while TV’s Frank declares this the “best Christmas ever” and Dr. F sends us off with a “Happy Holidays, everyone” ?

I love that. The capper of the instrumentals for “Merry Christmas (If That’s Okay)” over the end credits was a nice touch, too.

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“I JUST WANT TO KNOW ONE THING. WHEN ARE DONNY AND MARIE COMING THROUGH THE DOOR?” “NEVER.”

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The insanity of this movie is so vibrant, and just throws it’s lore at you like an oncoming train. Eventually you just have to embrace it and go along with whatever thing is taking place in a given scene, lest you lose your grip on the world aorund you and become just like Merlin.

Dig that crazy Santa Pipe Organ, hey, get down, jump back.

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“THIS IS THE REALLY NEW COUNTRY.”

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