“Haven’t you got anything less depressing to read, Pops?” “Well Deuteronomy’s a real hoot.” I think that’s how it went; it’s been so long since I watched this episode.
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“Where’s Mother?”
“I’M MOM NOW!!!”
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Such a…criminally underrated episode.
“Dig this, Babylon Sisters!”
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And the upset cows. “Where have you been?!?” “Milk us!!!”
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I still can’t get over how Farm Mom just grimly orders Terry to churn butter for her. She may be a hostage but it’s Thanksgiving and she will -not- leave the food unprepared. 
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This is what I call a “quiet” episode. It doesn’t seem to be a fan favorite. It’s not an awful movie. It’s just “there”. It has it’s moments. But it’s nothing spectacular. That being said, the end credits, with Frank being constantly sprayed with the mace mousse is hilarious. I honestly laugh my ass off every time I see it! Frank’s screams are legendary! An inspired end to an average episode.
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Wonder how many takes it took for Trace to get through the scene without a fit of giggles.
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What I remember is that this one stands out because it’s by far and away the most anxiety-inducing MST3K episode in the canon. I seriously can’t think of an installment that drives up the worry and concern more due to its hostage-centric plot, its constricting singular setting, and repellent antagonists. I’m not complimenting the movie, but observing that it has all these devices in play that get at your anxiousness.
Compare with Master Ninja II, which, while a nastier and more vicious entry than Master Ninja I, still has some mitigating factors by way of its dopey characters and general made-for-TV silliness. You don’t really get that sense of relief from Teen-Age Crime Wave, outside of that inexplicable scene where Jane sees herself on TV (with Servo comparing a “TURN IT OFF!”-screaming Jane to George C. Scott from Hardcore).
Or to put it another way, The Beatniks never comes across as being too heavy of a movie because Peter Breck’s Mooney is so hilariously over-the-top and goofy. It’s difficult to take Kitten with a Whip seriously because David is so ding-dang stupid that it all loops back around to hilarious absurdity. Terry and Mike from Teen-Age Crime Wave, on the other hand, are so unlikable and detestable that they push you away from the film rather than making you want to lean in closer to savor any trainwreck flavor.
Which is not to say that this isn’t a funny episode, that’s definitely not my contention. It just feels like this one is a bit harder to get into because the film is drawing you into this area of concern and tension rather than letting you sit back and let the riffs wash over you.
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BUT!
The riffs that are there are still plenty of fun.
One important strength of any MST3K episode is a well-sustained running gag, and we get one here with all the panic caused by the telephone and nobody quite understanding what that ringing is supposed to entail. Quoth Crow: “IT’S THAT THING AGAIN! WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN?!”
And I love the riffs for the older couple. Their presence helps to save this episode with inspired material like “Don’t mock our chairs too, soon” and “I wouldn’t waste seasonings on you thugs.” Plus you have this gold exchange:
Terry: “The only thing I read is the comics. I need laughs.”
Crow as the old woman: “Deuteronomy is a hoot.”
I also dig that opening mugging scene, which feels easier to get into and more accessible due to how it’s not bound up in hostage drama and the like. Mike’s riff about there being “dinner, movie, and a mugging?” Gold.
Also:
All the riffs about this doughy guy are WONDERFUL.
Mike: “His suit is made of pressed oatmeal!”
Crow: “Ever see me on MacGyver ?”
Servo: “Boy, oh boy, good thing I brought my life savings with me! Yes, sir, seven grand in cash and mixed securities… my lucky day, oh boy!”
And of course, there’s that killer riff near the end, which I want to place behind spoiler tags because I would never want to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t seen the episode:
Crow: “Go ahead, let it out. Have a teen-age cry wave.”
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This episode’s lasting legacy, of course, is the movie’s line of “You’re dirt, Terry. He’d never touch you.” This would show up in a number of different episodes down the road as a callback.
For me, the host segment about S.o.l’s, the First Deli in Space, is what I’ll love best about it, and for nostalgic reasons, too. Before I ever had Comedy Central and could only read bits and pieces about the show during the sprawling formative years of the Internet, someone posted a transcript of that sketch, and it sounded like the greatest thing ever. It was one of those things that only made me want to seek the show out EVEN MORE.
And what’s interesting is that this episode has the distinction of being only one of two episodes (the other being Daddy-O), where the end credits are interrupted by an ongoing host segment bit. Gotta love Frank as Doughy Man!
That it hasn’t been widely (read: officially) available on the streaming channels probably had that kind of effect. That, combined with its harder tone, probably worked against that. Compare with Godzilla Vs. Megalon, which hasn’t been easily accessible in FOREVER but still manages to get folks talking about it.
Admittedly, this one hasn’t been in my regular rotation, so I’ll need to take some time with it to see if I would think better of the episode than how I remembered it.
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“You don’t have to watch, Pops!”
“Well… I kind of want to, if that’s okay.”
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Mike: “Oh, I lost my spot. Gotta start over. ‘In The Beginning…’”
That one is among the all-timers for me!
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One of my all-time favorites is from this episode. “Mr. and Mrs. Bridge read her the riot act.” So fitting with the scene.
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