619. Red Zone Cuba (1966)

Coleman Francis directs and stars? What more could anyone ask? John Carradine singing, Curly jokes aplenty, “Hi! I’m Cherokee Jack!” Coffee, crime, everlasting close-ups. This, Creeping Terror (1964), and Yucca Flats (1961) are neck and neck as Mike’s worst experiment. As Crow said, “I want to hurt this movie, but I could never hurt it as it hurt me.” Chemotherapy or “Sal Mineo for Viceroy”?

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The Bouncy Upbeat Song.

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Red Zone Cube is a hard one for me. The movie is awful on a deep, visceral level down to the genetics. Usually the riffing can make up for it, but in this movie it just doesn’t quite seem to compensate for the movies oppressive cloud of lousiness. It’s MST, so it’s still good … but this one is always a challenge for me to sit through. Only gets a 5 out of 10 from me.

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In the wild a curly can reach 30mph…hey Moe!

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I quote “Other than the fact that I’ll never again experience joy in my life” all the time. It helps that coming straight out of the movie, you really do feel that way.

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The only thing this movie makes me think of is a sweaty Francis Coleman sitting in the dirt with his legs splayed

a sweaty Francis Coleman sitting in the dirt with his legs splayed

I’ve probably blacked out the rest

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95% of the movie is dullsville where there NOTHING happens on top of NOTHING on top of NOTHING on top of people smoking while doing NOTHING.

and Mike and the bots just let the movie steamroll them. Painful.

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It’s almost jaw-dropping just how angry and bitter this movie is. If I’m in the right kind of mood, this experiment can still be kinda fun. You really feel like you’re with Mike and The Bots and the plight to get though this movie.

And this episode is another reason why the host segments are so important. The Bouncy Upbeat Song is so needed after it’s finally over.

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For one thing, you have Dr. F getting all those well wishes and doing the Knee Test with Frank.

For another, you have Mike’s mind snapping, which is TECHNICALLY a victory for the Mads, but they were otherwise preoccupied.

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Better than Francis deserves. LOL!

Expanded look.