908. The Touch of Satan (1971)

It’s Just A Show 103. [MST3K 908. The Touch of Satan]

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  1. The Touch of Satan (1971). Full Episode. Courtesy of Shout Factory.
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Trailer of The Touch of Satan (1971).

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Even Further Best of 908.

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IMDB Bottom 100 Review of The Touch of Satan (1971).

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31 Day Challenge 2019 Review of The Touch of Satan (1971).

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Interesting movie. It’s hokey, but not terrible. Not a bad idea for a story, anyway. At least until the ending.

Spoilers

She didn’t intend to be a witch. If they’d left her alone, she never would have. Turns out, becoming a witch makes you immortal. Which becomes more of a curse than a blessing sometimes. Her power draws in potential saviors, consciously or otherwise, and finally finds one who succeeds in saving her soul through the power of love. Except then, against her express wishes, and knowing the very real dire consequences, he re-curses them both. Does he expect her to be grateful for that? Does he expect her to love him forever? Does he expect that she won’t resent him? And who could possibly ever free them now?

And yet, for all that, the thing that is truly immortal is, “This is where the fish lives.”

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The Night Walker Reviews The Touch of Satan (1971).

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This movie is a hard pass for me. My first-run viewing of it was enough to turn me off indefinitely. My only takeaway is the fish riff. Everything else about this movie is icky. No pitchforking dried apple granny/sister, thank you very much.

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Religious-themed horror is one of the trickier subgenres to pull off. I suspect that the reason why it’s seldom done well is on account of how most of the writers who take a crack at it are at best spiritually indifferent. As a result, they rarely have a strong understanding of the subject matter. A common issue in such works is that they feature the Devil or some similar entity but no benevolent opposite. A theologically problematic set up to say the least. I would argue that the reason why The Exorcist is often seen as the epitome of religious horror is because William Peter Blatty was a believer.

But even if you’re fine with the maltheistic overtones present in this movie, there are other issues. First and foremost is the romance between Melissa and Jodie, which has some of the most clunky and awkward dialogue imaginable. Compared to this, the romance between Anakin and Padme in Attack of the Clones is worthy subject matter for a Shakespearean sonnet. The idea of Melissa being freed from the Devil by having Jodie divest her of her virginity is kind of silly.

Host segments are a mostly fun lot. Particularly memorable is how Pearl has left Bobo and Brain Guy with a babysitter, who treats them like an ill-behaved dog and a petulant child respectively. Scenes on the Satellite are a bit more uneven, though Servo’s homicidal grandma is good for some chuckles. The one where Crow attempts to sell his soul to Satan but instead sells it to a guy named Stan for me recalls the tongue in cheek post-post-post-post-apocalypse RPG Low Life. One of the religions of the setting is Stanism, of which the following is declared about their patron deity: “Stan is the granddaddy of lies and deceit. He’s the great granddaddy of greed and avarice and the second cousin twice removed of apathy, gluttony, and villainy.”

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$6.66 back in change

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This is one of those rare episodes where I have to be Conan the Contrarian.

For the record, I love the first half of this episode. An absolute A+ in my book. So many weird things happening, what with the “Za!” and the walnut farming and the place where the fish lives and the CARNATION ICE CREAM and so on.

That second half, though, gets too dark for my tastes, to the point where it kinda overrides that first half. This isn’t one that’s in my rotation very often, if I’m going to be honest.

It’s a celebrated episode in the MST3K canon, but admittedly, I have a difficult time with it. I’m glad that it’s so well-received by the majority of the fanbase, though.

HOWEVER… loooooooooooove those Steffi host segments, and it’s a real shame that we never saw Beez reprise the character like how we would see Mike or Paul Chaplin reprise characters. Heck, even Bill got to play Krankor in two episodes.

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Hmm. I come from a very different place theologically. My religion has no demons, no human soul, no afterlife. Angels are celestial creatures, not deceased humans. And I’ve become very secular. So I don’t mind the movie mucking about with other ideas.

I don’t enjoy horror movies, as a rule. Or religious movies, for that matter. So something like this is as close as I get to enjoying anything in the genre.

That said, I do like some of what they did here. I like the slow unfolding of the mystery from Jodie’s POV. That’s well done. And Melissa being tempted to sign the contract to save a loved one from an evil mob claiming the moral/religious high ground works nicely. No shortage of people who have turned completely from the core teachings of their religion while claiming true faith, and it gives Melissa good motive to accept the help and also turn away from the religion.

I don’t think you necessarily need God to be involved, either. The only way an omnipotent, omniscient, and benevolent deity could allow a world with evil in it is if respecting free will is even more important. Melissa chose her bargain and accepted the terms. Getting out of that can’t be as simple as repenting, and she doesn’t really want to repent, given that it was men of faith who enacted the original abuse and horror on her and her sister in the first place. It’s hard to see past them to a just, loving, and worthy God.

But you’re right that Jodie saving her through premarital sex is just weird, at best. It’s supposed to be that it’s a pure act of love, despite having seen her flaws and true nature, but… There were, perhaps, better actions that could have expressed that. Not to mention that an act of love and self-sacrifice is what got Melissa to sign the contract in the first place.

I think it’s supposed to be that pure love is sacred and divine, and thus the one thing that can break the devil’s power. But it’s just not well done here. Really, though, what can you expect from the genius writing that gave us “This is where the fish lives”?

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This episode is ok, I guess, but I’m not that into it. It’s got a real grimy 70s thing going on, but unlike Giant Spider Invasion there’s not enough good stuff to override that. There’s some good riffs in there, but it’s not an episode I’m likely to put on.

It does have Beez as Steffi the babysitter, though. :heart_eyes:

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Beez is fantastic. Just in general.

And, yes. “Za!” and walnut farming are pretty fun. There’s a lot to appreciate before the darkness starts to unravel. I don’t mind the second half, but I agree the first half is better.

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That’s part of the disappointment for me, because the 70s is my favorite decade of filmmaking, and I love that grime and grit and seediness that we’re likely to see in such movies. That’s part of what made Beyond Atlantis resonate so much with me as an episode.

And we totally got that here! The film has that look to it that I love, that SCREAMS 70s filmmaking.

I don’t want to sound like too much of a Debbie Downer on this one, because like I said, that first half is MONEY. Some astoundingly strong riffing work.

But that second half just feels too nasty and ugly and dour for the riffing to overcome, at least in my book. The best way I can try to articulate that is to bring up those past MST3K moments that felt a mite too hard to get past, like Carrie’s death in The Girl in Lovers Lane or the dad’s fate (and, well, just about everyone’s fate, really) in High School Big Shot.

Even so, like I said, I love it when people can find something to love in MST3K episodes that I can’t quite get to myself. And I can see why folks would admire this one so much, and why it’s so championed as a Season 9 winner.

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“I have 2 grandmas, Mike. I always have. The other one doesn’t kill people, though. That’s how I tell them apart!”

This is one of those episodes that is a firm favorite in my book, but that a lot of people seem to find to be a hard episode to watch. The riffing is all top-shelf, and the movie is clunky and hamhanded in the way that makes for great riff-fodder. It makes me laugh a lot every time, and that’s all I ever want out of my MST3K.

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Or Sidehackers

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There really is an ugly, nasty pall that hangs over the movie once we get past that actual sidehacking stuff.

That includes Mister THAT WAS NUMBER FIIIIIIIIIIIVE! guy.

But while Sidehackers was something of a dopey 30-minute revenge movie spread out over 82 minutes of film, The Touch of Satan is actually something of an interesting and intriguing premise (if not executed particularly effectively).

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One of the things I love about the movie is the stilted dialogue that could only have come from the 1970s. Especially during the flirting scene at the beginning:

“You on a journey?”
“I guess so. Not going any place special.”

“I bet you have nine boyfriends.”

Like I was pretty young, but I’m pretty sure nobody has ever talked like that.

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