All I Really Need To Know I Learned From Watching Shorts

With the shorts collection out, I’ve been watching with my kids. During “What to Do on a Date” I pointed out to my 12 yo son that going on group outings for first dates is actually really good idea and takes a lot of the pressure off.

What’s some good (or horrible) advice you first found in a MST short? Or maybe just something you actually learned?

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Gee whiz, all those old black and white shorts really taught me to suppress my personality and comform to incredibly toxic ideals.

That and racing trains without looking is fun, although I think may have missed something with that one.

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I remember A Date with Your Family as containing lots of juicy nuggets like how to handle dad coming home from work:

Children should “greet their dad as though they are genuinely glad to see him, as though they had really missed being away from him during the day and are anxious to talk to him.”

and, at dinner:

“Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion.”

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Nothing about how Daughter got conscripted as the Goofus for the Mealtime Don’ts?

Marvin from High School Big Shot could have benefited from two shorts in particular. Are You Ready for Marriage? would have shown that a single date of going to a movie does not constitute grounds for matrimony. Meanwhile, Cheating could have pounded in how sudden improvement from struggling students can be regarded as suspicious by teachers. Because no one learns how to correctly use a semicolon overnight.

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I think we all learned a valuable lesson about the importance of gentle pressure.

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I was gonna flag your post…then I realized it said GENTLE pressure instead of GENITAL pressure :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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And if he had taken the extension course, he would have been exposed to an extended list of questions from Cupid to round out his education.

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The Last Clear Chance short gives a very important message to keep your eyes on the road and hands upon the wheel.
Otherwise, disaster could arise.

“Why don’t they look?”
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“Plenty of lip and tongue action.”

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Thinking about Coily: it’s kind of strange how swiftly we have moved from a spring-based economy. About the only things left are various door latches, pens and reading lamp arms.

Any of the fifties-era shorts are nice explorations of my favorite style of American industrial design.

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Plenty of springs still in our furniture…

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“You’ve got to inspect your horn, boy.”
“And wash it every day.”

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And every shock absorber is a gas cylinder combined with — you guessed it — a spring.

The spring economy didn’t disappear so much as go underground.

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I understand just how swell everything with electricity is!

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I just wish I could get a ride in one of those!

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Matching twin beds (in the latest style) is the ultimate couple’s goal.

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If I pick up every hair with a tweezer I’ll be Clean and Neat!

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I’ve learned that wholesale bread salesmen terrorize the neighborhood!

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PLUS volume!

GOODWILL!!

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The higher priorties of the afterlife:

  • Bread deliverymen
  • Honeymoons (and phones)
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