As inspired by the Jonathan Coulton song, and this thread, Some of you may have seen my photos of Louis Charles (formerly “Creepy Pierre”), the real life creepy doll I bought for my wife for her 40th birthday. He is still, by far, the creepiest doll in her collection, but I thought I’d show off a few others choice selections and encourage others to do the same.
All toys/dolls/puppets/stuffed animals are welcome, but unintentionally creepy toys are best.
There are plenty of deliberately creepy dolls you can buy on eBay and Etsy, but where’s the fun in that?
Now, on with the doll/horror show…
Louis Charles (née “Creepy Pierre”) dates back to some point in the 1800’s, is filled with straw, and was made with actual 200+ year old human hair. Human hair that could have conceivably belonged to some unfortunate Dauphin sent to the guillotine, cruelly blinded by his inquisitors, now seeking revenge against their descendants for the downfall of the French aristocracy.
He did, in fact, come with eyes, though they came in their own separate bag. As previously noted, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that putting the eyes back in the doll’s head is a bad idea and almost certainly what will bring it back to life and send it on a murderous rampage.
Sadly, it won’t be alone on it’s blood-soaked crime spree, because we’ll also have this hideous abomination to contend with…
Because clowns aren’t terrifying enough on their own, creating one with light bulbs for eyes just seems unnecessarily sadistic. While the eyes no longer light up, the doll was definitely built to do so. I don’t know if the bare light bulbs were how it originally came, if they were replacements for something smaller (but no less creepy) or if there was some sort of bulbous glass or plastic shell that was supposed to fit over the top of them (still not helping.) No matter how this doll may have looked in it’s original form… it was undoubtedly 100% creepy, even when it was brand new.
And speaking of clowns… This weird creature with the orangutan arms is a “celluloid tumbler” and it appears to have been shot twice in the chest. Not that a bullet can slow it’s insatiable lust for tumbling, and the jingle-jangle of the bells on it’s kneecaps will be the last sound you ever hear…
Unless Walking Wanda gets you first.
She’s supposed to have a dress, but has since embraced her cold metallic automata existence.
There’s also this cruelly labeled little fellow…
Note that it says doll parts. Even though it is clearly a complete doll. He obviously knows he is destined for dismemberment, and any tears he sheds are fully justified.
But if any doll was going to produce tears, imagine waking up on Christmas morning to find this three-headed mutant lurking under the Christmas tree…
Then there’s Neckbrace and Chesty… who appear to have spent a little too much time hanging out next to the nuclear reactor.
This souvenir from Hal Cruises (who I can only hope are now out of business)
And the creepy doll that started it all… Creepy Paul, who we found in a thrift store. I’m assuming after whatever voodoo priest created him was finished extracting terrible revenge against Paul McGann.
