Books/movies/comics that can't possibly live up to their titles or covers

You might be right! What a hilarious connection.

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Found another great one while I was browsing through vintage paperbacks yesterday.

I don’t know what The Space Willies are, but it sounds like Pfizer should develop a pill for that.

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image

i wish…

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But where’s Red Sonja?

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Foreign posters for films nearly always look so much better than the official posters. Look up the recent foreign posters for NWH if you don’t believe me.

Soooo… it’s basically Ash from Evil Dead then? Just with a shotgun instead of a chainsaw?

The only time I’ve ever seen anything about a guy with the same thing on both hands is the sadly underrated pr0n parody Edward you-know-whathands. It doesn’t quite live up to the promise you’d expect from having two of those for his hands; I can’t imagine having two shotguns for hands would be much better.

How would he do ANTHING? Does he have to have a valet to dress him and help him go to the bathroom and stuff? Bad enough to have one shotgun for a hand (and be ripping off Ash from Evil Dead); two’s just taking it too far.

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There’s so much potential when there’s only a single official source of lore and story and ancillary material pretty much makes it up as it goes along. Of course, as long as I’ve been alive and aware, Star Wars & The Empire Strikes Back have been gospel so I never knew of a time before either, but the Matrix had a similar season between 1999 and 2003 where comics and the anime special “The Animatrix” was fleshing out the world, allowing our imagination to take flight with all sorts of possible stories and sequels to come…and yet unlike The Empire Strikes Back, the Matrix sequels seemed to hamper things a bit and all the rich potential just seemed to dry up. Sure, we’ve had some stuff post Matrix Revolution that continued things for a bit (an MMO that eventually gave us the fate of Morpheus, IIRC) but until The Matrix Resurrection, there’s really not been much significant material, official or otherwise.

I also remember feeling similarly about the Metal Gear Solid franchise, where the first (okay technically third, but Metal Gear Solid was essentially a soft reboot and served as most people’s intro to the game) game was the right balance of gameplay, exploration, and cinematic presentation and the story had so much potential for the future of the series, only for the next sequel to get entrenched by the philosophical whims of the creator to the point that, by the fourth game, cut scenes were over an hour long and consisted more of people talking than action oriented, and it leaned so hard into the absurdity of everything (the first game had absurdity but with a sense of grounding to it, an illusion of believability and reality).

So yeah, thank you for the tangent, but it’s something I’ve always thought about when movies or games have such impactful and wonderful starts but kind of run into issues with the sequels and leaves me wondering what happened, what choices were made that sent them down this road and it didn’t live up to the potential, unlike Star Wars (which…yeah, kinda faced similar issues later on with sequel and prequel trilogies, but even then, a lot of good was salvaged from such things). For other examples: the Kingdom Hearts video games and the Pirates of the Caribbean film series.

You know what? I think I’ll create a whole new topic so others may add their own ideas. Check it out: Wasted Potential

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This cover doesn’t live up to the awesomeness of Braniac Lincoln vs Clark Wilkes Metallo, but it’s one that’s always stuck with me and there’s no way the story could possibly live up to it.

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Not that I WANT a film/book to live up to this title, but this classic Simpsons joke always comes to mind for topics like this.

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Early Peter Weir. Better than you would think if you hadn’t seen the poster.

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Writer of the much anticipated Dr. Mordrid as well.

I think I had this one. No, I don’t remember how it turned out.

Honestly, the whole art of comic book covers is exactly setting a scene the contents couldn’t possibly live up to.

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It’s just kind of boring, honestly. Only one dude gets stabbed by the spike car.

… Then again I last saw this movie when I was 16.

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Oh, now you’ve reminded me of the superdickery blog. Superman is a Dick - Superdickery - Be sure to catch Avengers 4: The Unsnappening

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That’s literally what I was going to post lol.

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I posted this in the movie posters thread. Definitely did not live up.

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A video game cover rather than a film or book but what the hey. Streets of Rage on the Mega Drive (or Genesis for my American chums) is truly epic. There’s so much going on but my favourite has to be the window strangler:

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This is EXACTLY why people need to LEAVE THE BRONX!

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Bear? What bear? HE’S A FEROCIOUS SABER-TOOTH TIGER!!

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EXACTLY the site I was thinking of!

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Promiscuous has other definitions. Pulpers probably couldn’t get a naughty book through the mails back then so when the g-men came a knockin’ they showed them a dictionary and how moral their book really was.

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There’s THIS classic game cover:

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