Burning Questions! (Note OT category)

A burning MST3K question to start: How do people actually sit through Mitchell more than once? For it is so repulsive and loathesome a movie!

If you know the answer, or know someone who does, report them to this thread and the great règlement will begin.

Ground rules - note that this is posted to the Off Topic! category and not to MST3K Central.


Turning myself in. I’ve watched Mitchell more times than I can count.

Repulsive? Sure (name another movie where the lead obtains a six pack with their feet). But it has all of the look/feel of the films and made-for-television movies flooding that period of my childhood, so it pokes at the nostalgia gland a little bit. Also, can’t beat those gluttony riffs. Heart poundin’. Veins cloggin’.


Well, my gosh. I don’t know how you sleep at night!

That’s a reasonable reason.

The judges would also have accepted: “massive superfan of Hoyt Axton singing nonsense jingles for crap movies,” “hates women who smoke reefers,” and “likes Dirty Harry but not so much into action.”


Turning questions? :thinking:

But I thought we had driving complaints covered in the Gripes thread already!


Complaints, comments and concerns.

Yes. It’s not a complete collection, yet, in the appropriate threads.

But I’m sure there are questions to be asked and answered about the little ferrets engibbeted in the minds of defective turners!

Question: what is the absolute darkest charcoal fabric one can acquire from which to make a suit, and yet not be black in “color”?

This is where Bing/DDG/teh_googol/reddut/lemme break down.

See, they crowdsource and chatgpt and all that, but this is the superior community comprising those who know. Or should know!


You’re not trying to do it sober, are you?


Oh, I’m not trying (and succeeding! winning!) not to do it at all!

But…what would Mitchell do?


Well, it was one of the few tapes I had for a while, so I watched it regularly.

I have faith in you, you can do it !

Britney Spears Thumbs Up GIF


What’s so repulsive/loathsome about Mitchell?


Directed by Andrew McClagen. He dared to perdure, even after Chisholm, an equally wretched “film,” and never got better or recovered. His father should have discouraged him at a young age.

A title character so repulsive and deserving of a good pistol-whipping it cannot be observed, even as an amœba can be tolerated.

Godawful music.

Horrible print. Manos-level, but with a much worse movie. Reeks of the cheapest of the 1970s fare, like Touch of Satan, but without the light amusement of watching enraged townies attempt to execute witches.

No comic or even slightly risible moments in this gruesome picture. Watching someone stuff soup in their gullet is not that funny when it becomes twenty minutes or however long.

It’s a better movie than, say, Monster A-Go-Go or that Fu Manchu thing or “Hamlet,” (as I guess the original producer decided to call it), but isn’t so far gone as to inspire truly funny riffs on diverse topics.

It is a horror. An abomination.


What about the Cop and Half origin story?

I thoroughly enjoy the chase scene with the Andy Kaufman riff, and Tom’s a capella Chicago cover has me singing that earworm for hours.

I also like the Gypsy 2001 arc, and the company Mike works for makes this old temporary worker laugh.

The constant Yanni and John Derek riffs are hilarious as well.


Yeah, I don’t remember which host segments are on there. I could watch again and ffwd through the movie just for those.

Question: you know those cardboard sleeves that some of the “fancy” (not necessarily…I think I bought a Paddys once that came in a cardboard cylinder) liquors are sold in?

I’m purging empty glass bottles, while retaining some unique examples to cut using a dremel tool and the hot-cold shock treatment to make really large drinking glasses (or whatever).

But these sleeves seem like something that could be used for different purposes.

Yes, some of them are indeed cylinders.

I dunno. Extra handgun? Wads of cash? Prank gift to a sober alcoholic friend or neighbor (put a bottle of club soda inside)?

Something, though!

Also question, glass is like super recyclable, pretty sure. I’m not really confident that the trucks that gather recycling around here are going to drop the stuff off at the right depot, but also am not driving out to the central depot.

I’m being obsessive and should just drop the dozens of bottles at the appropriate neighborhood recycling dumpster, right?

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Just going on record to say I’d rather watch Monster-a-Go-Go or Castle of Fu Manchu than Mitchell. I honestly doubt I’ll watch Mitchell again for many, many years. I’ve even dropped out of Turkey Day Marathons for that one. Just absolutely exhausted with an episode I never really cared for in the first place.

Hamlet is the worst for me though. It is just… so… dullllllllllll. And I can’t make out what anybody is saying, so all the Shakespearean dialogue is wasted on me.

The shear bizarreness of M-a-G-G is enough to get me to watch though, and I hold out some strange particle of hope that I’ll some day understand what the heck is supposed to be happening in Fu Manchu.

As always, that’s just me though. (You watch it. I’m bitter.)


I will not be watching it again! You do it!

Agreed about Fu Manchu…something about ice or water and a castle or something. One of these days I’ll manage to stay awake through the MST3K version.


My burning question:
Is this just another gripes thread specifically about Mitchell?



It’s also about Hamlet.


I agree with the above!

Also questions…but in my case any question always a latent gripe lurking beneath the surface.

Like Polonius. In Hamlet. Which is a terrible film production.


Fu Manchu is definitely hard to get through, but the Mads’ riffing at the end of it goes a long way to redeem it. And just before that, I love the bots’ increasingly despairing reactions to Joel’s sketches of Fu Manchu’s origin.


Yeah, the sketches…much like in that other episode which shall be unnamed…could be the very salvation of the experiment…

But I think I just distinctly heard you offer to host a Friday watch-a-long of Castle of Fu Manchu!

That is mighty noble of you! Thanks! :laughing:


Oh, I absolutely would. I think Starfighters is booked already for next Friday.

Edit to add: With enough of us, we might even be able to figure out the plot.