Cinéma Vérité

Just an idea, but how could you make the virtual theater experience even more like a real theater? My theater-going days harken back to actual film and projectionists, so my suggestions stem from that era.

  • Film occasionally goes randomly out of focus
  • Add reel change “cigarette burns” to the corners of movies (maybe signalling a bumper or host segment)
  • Scratch-and-dust filter to “age” movies being shown

What are your ideas?

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Spray your house with soda so your shoes get all sticky!

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I once saw a presentation of the Michael Moore film ‘Roger and Me’ that had a reel of Blue Velvet spliced in by mistake at the on-site assembly stage. Hey, I guess all those cans of film do look quite similar after a while.

Maybe throw a minute of a Joel riffing section into a Jonah episode? Won’t make for quite the same violent disconnect as my ‘reel’* life experience but would be fun.

*please, hold your applause.

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Having worked in cinemas at various points over the years I can safely say spraying with soda would be the best possible option for what can be sprayed in a cinema :melting_face:

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Audio options include the occasional insertion of a crying baby or someone who forgot to silence their cellphone.

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Let’s all suggest features that nobody would turn on.

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That’s pretty much the remit of this thread.

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I mean we already have the rude people talking during the movie… :rofl:

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I see your

and raise you

bailiwick

.

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Can I get two people behind me who can’t complete a sentence without adding at least a bakers dozen, like, likes into it, talking about something that happened to an acquaintance of a friend of theirs at Zaxby’s two weeks ago Thursday?

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Ha, I use that one all the time. And on occasion “wheelhouse”.

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Is there going to be a gum-under-the-seat feature?

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Check your chair, you may already have it!

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I demand Honey, I Shrunk The Audience sneeze gag feature. But with real sneeze.

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Maybe we could do Smell-O-Vision along with 3D. Let’s get the Kingachrome Scratch 'n Sniff cards!

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But not the one from Outbreak?

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Candy, diamonds, pills, anything you want.

Dramarama_Cinema_Verite

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Stick a pinball table in a corner of one of the virtual theater’s levels, but never make it playable.

And then devise a protocol that allows browsers/smart TVs/personal devices to liberally spray a fart smell for the duration of your time viewing Gizmoplex content. When viewing on your phone, it’s advised to wear your Kingavision 3-D glasses as protective eyewear so you don’t get the sprayed fart spray into your orbs.

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How about a feature where people talk during the movie?

Oh wait…

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