Just an idea, but how could you make the virtual theater experience even more like a real theater? My theater-going days harken back to actual film and projectionists, so my suggestions stem from that era.
What are your ideas?
Spray your house with soda so your shoes get all sticky!
I once saw a presentation of the Michael Moore film ‘Roger and Me’ that had a reel of Blue Velvet spliced in by mistake at the on-site assembly stage. Hey, I guess all those cans of film do look quite similar after a while.
Maybe throw a minute of a Joel riffing section into a Jonah episode? Won’t make for quite the same violent disconnect as my ‘reel’* life experience but would be fun.
*please, hold your applause.
Having worked in cinemas at various points over the years I can safely say spraying with soda would be the best possible option for what can be sprayed in a cinema 
Audio options include the occasional insertion of a crying baby or someone who forgot to silence their cellphone.
Let’s all suggest features that nobody would turn on.
That’s pretty much the remit of this thread.
I mean we already have the rude people talking during the movie… 
I see your
and raise you
bailiwick
.
Can I get two people behind me who can’t complete a sentence without adding at least a bakers dozen, like, likes into it, talking about something that happened to an acquaintance of a friend of theirs at Zaxby’s two weeks ago Thursday?
Ha, I use that one all the time. And on occasion “wheelhouse”.
Is there going to be a gum-under-the-seat feature?
Check your chair, you may already have it!
I demand Honey, I Shrunk The Audience sneeze gag feature. But with real sneeze.
Maybe we could do Smell-O-Vision along with 3D. Let’s get the Kingachrome Scratch 'n Sniff cards!
But not the one from Outbreak?
Candy, diamonds, pills, anything you want.
Stick a pinball table in a corner of one of the virtual theater’s levels, but never make it playable.
And then devise a protocol that allows browsers/smart TVs/personal devices to liberally spray a fart smell for the duration of your time viewing Gizmoplex content. When viewing on your phone, it’s advised to wear your Kingavision 3-D glasses as protective eyewear so you don’t get the sprayed fart spray into your orbs.
How about a feature where people talk during the movie?
Oh wait…
