If only he were Sherrie. “Oh, Coleman, oh God!!!” “It’s so bad, it’s so bad!!!” “Oh, Coleman, why oh why!!!” “It goes on, on and on!!!” “Oh, I want let go!!!” “You go on… hurting me!!!” “You’d better just stop!!!” “Making films that make me scream!!!” “But you know there are people!!!” “That actually watch these films!!!” “You can see them wincing!!!” “On-and-on!!!” “Oh Coleman, move on!!!” “They’re so bad, they’re so bad!!” “Oh, Coleman, act instead!!!” “Do pantomime, or stunts INSTEAD!!!” The one, the only, Coleman Francis. Imagine if Harold P. Warren kept directing. That’s Coleman Francis. The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961), The Skydivers (1963), Red Zone Cuba (1966). Three year long movies lacking in anything going for them. No stars, no writing, no action, no hope. If Clinical Depression were entertainment, it would be directed by Coleman Francis.
An Oklahoma boy who went out to Tinseltown as a young man, he was drafted into the military post Pearl Harbor ahead of getting small uncredited film parts from the late 40s till the late 50s. Killers from Space (1954), She Couldn’t Say No (1954), This Island Earth (1955). His first credited role was in Irvin Kershner’s Stakeout on Dope Street (1958). A chance phone call with actor/welder Anthony Cardoza cemented a partnership where Tony produced and Francis directed. Going their separate ways by the late 60s, Francis acted in The Last American Hobo (1967), Body Fever (1969), and Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970). The man is an enigma though his pics are familiar to any MSTie.
Kevin Murphy said it best, “Coleman Francis uses edits like blunt instruments. He uses blunt instruments like blunt instruments. His major themes are death, hatefulness, death, pain, and death. He looks like Curly Howard possessed by demons from Hell. He tried to pass off Lake Mead as the Caribbean Sea. His films have the moral compass of David Berkowitz.” Coffee, aircraft, parachuting, cigarettes. Those are my takeaways. That and the Black and White. The work of Francis moves like a corpse and Ed Wood had more talent. I won’t ever forget him. No matter how hard I try. When I think of unwatchable, I think of him. 3 out of 3 on MST? Is that some sort of record? Nobody Does It Better or Move Along?