Create your MST 3k "Dream Season"

I’ve always been a movie kid and once I found MST 3K something I loved to do was collect lists for possible future episodes.

When I was like 12 or 13 I even embarrassingly called Best Brains studio (trying to sound much older then I was) and asked how to submit movies for their considerations. God bless the patient woman I spoke with who explained about copyright and the films they could use.

After that call, like an idiot, I even wrote a letter addressing copyright free films and sent that in… I was a very weird kid.

The list below is created from several separate lists. A season used to be 24 episodes, so I trimmed it down to 13 for this thought experiment.

There is no mandated host or mads here, so imagine this with whomever you like in those roles (though I did kind of envision Forrester and TV’s Frank when creating this).

The trick is to find a balance of genres, color and black and white, era, and flow/pacing from one episode to the next.

Love to hear your thoughts or feedback- feel free to try it yourselves too!

  1. War of the Gargantuans (1966)
  2. Terrified (1962)
  3. Hercules (1983)
  4. The People Time Forgot (1977)
  5. Night Caller from Outer Space (1965)
  6. Varan the Unbelievable (1962)
  7. Journey to the Center of the Earth (1989)
  8. The Choppers (1961)
  9. Frankenstein Conquers the World (1965)
  10. The Christmas Martian (1971) (with the 1951 PSA short, "A day of Thanksgiving).
  11. Disembodied (1957)
  12. The Adventures of Hercules (1985)
  13. Night of the Ghouls (1959)

What do you think sirs?

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Those of us who were weird kids tend to be pretty interesting adults. :wink:

Embarrassingly, I don’t recognize a single one of those titles, but I’d eagerly watch every one of them with the MST treatment.

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So wait is the exercise to fill 12 or 13 episodes that you would do if you could pick the films?

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You got it sir!

Imagine a 12- 13 episode season, you pick the movie in each episode and the order of those episodes (as I say, try to create a flow from one to another).

Any time period, any format (widescreen, standard, color, black and white, etc).

You can have any cast in any permutation you like!

Fire away and let us see your perfect line up. :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’m hung up on this. The title screams interesting, but not necessarily good. You have my attention.

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  1. Space Truckers
  2. Con Air
  3. That episode of Reading Rainbow where Raul Julia reads Mystery On The Docks. But only the story portions.
  4. An actual small-er town high school graduation ceremony.
  5. Follow That Bird
  6. Rockadoodle
  7. The CBS Dr. Strange pilot from the 80’s. (RIP Jessica Walter)
  8. The Wiz
  9. Cop Out
  10. The 80’s He-Man movie
  11. Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot
  12. The Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz Mashup.
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Mine is B&W heavy (sorry Joel, but I love 'em) and rights issues might make several of these impossible, but it’s a dream season for me…

  1. Attack of the Crab Monsters (Russell Johnson vs giant talking crabs!)

  2. The Giant Claw (Giant flying turkey creature! From the director of “Teenage Crime Wave”, it stars Jeff Morrow of “This Island Earth” fame)

  3. The Norseman (Charles B. Piece and Crenshaw from Boggy Creek II together again, with Lee Majors as a Viking)

  4. Killdozer (just because it was used as riff material a few times)

  5. Through Fire, Water and Brass Pipes (we need another weird Russian folk tale. This comes from the director of “Jack Frost” and stars the gal who played Nastenka. It tells of a young man who goes through many trials to rescue his beloved… and her pet goat)

  6. From Hell It Came (Mary Jo wrote about it in the ACEG - it’s about a man who turns into a tree and exacts revenge on those who wronged him)

  7. High School Confidential! (Slang heavy exposé on “weed head” teens, it has Mamie Van Doren and Michael Landon in the cast as well as Jackie Coogan as the drug kingpin. Confidential makes a great bookend with “Girls Town”, dig!)

  8. Wild Guitar (Arch Hall Jr. 'nuff said)

  9. Invisible Invaders (John Agar stars as manly “Major Jay” in this story about invisible aliens who inhabit the dead in their dastardly attempt to conquer Earth)

  10. The Cape Canaveral Monsters (Katherine Victor (Bat Woman) stars as one of two flying alien light balls. The light balls possess a couple of human bodies and attempt to sabotage the space program. Phil Tucker’s follow-up to Robot Monster is nasty and odd. It might have been intended as a black comedy: The bickering aliens (one of whom has an arm that keeps falling off) certainly display darkly humorous characteristics.)

  11. CC and Company (moving away from the horror genre - Ann-Margaret plays a high society gal who falls for a low life biker (Joe Namath)

  12. The Fists of Bruce Lee (one of many Bruceploitation flicks from the 70s. Features a character named Mr. Poo)

  13. Hand of Death (John Agar is exposed to gas and turns into something that looks like the lovechild of The Michelin Man and the Thing)

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This thread seems to exist in two places at once (Schrödinger’s post?), so here’s my list again from the other thread. Or is this the other thread? Dude…

  1. Terror On The Beach (1973)
  2. The Monolith Monsters (1957)
  3. Inframan (1975)
  4. Las Vegas Hillbillys (1966)
  5. 4d Man (1959)
  6. Gamera Vs Viras (1968)
  7. The Magician (1973) [Tv Series Pilot]
  8. 13 Ghosts (1960)
  9. Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park (1978)
  10. Modesty Blaise (1966)
  11. The Devil Bat (1940)
  12. Forbidden Planet (1956) *
  • If they can riff This Island Earth, they can riff this.
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Great selections sir!

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Lol- sorry, I did post it I another area as well as at first, it didn’t seem to get many eyes on it.

This is another AWESOME selection of titles!

I love the diversity I’m seeing in some of these suggestions!

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I have been compiling this very list for DECADES. Surprisingly, only a handful of my picks have actually made it onto Rifftrax, The Mads, or Season 12/13. (Though I’m pleased as punch, Gamera vs Jiger will be making an appearance in the Gizmoplex) Without further adieu, let me introduce you to your Deep Hurting All-Star Line-Up:

1 — The Man Without a Body (1958) - The most riffable movie I’ve ever seen. The plot involves a dying industrialist tycoon who decides the only cure for his inoperable brain tumor is to have a brain transplant (luckily there’s a doctor in England who specializes in transplanting dead monkey brains into the skulls of other slightly less-dead monkeys.) But no ordinary replacement brain will do. After a motivational walk through Madame Tusseaud’s wax museum, he insists upon having the brain of Nostradamus … because he thinks it’ll give him super powers… somehow. So he hires a drunk surgeon to fly to Paris, dig up his 400 year old corpse, and steal the head it for him. And it just gets crazier from there. Where else are you going to see a tycoon demanding stock tips from a rotting severed head in a petri dish and a third-act monster that looks like the Burger King mascot got his head stuck inside a hotel mini-fridge? Not quite sure of the copyright status, but most of W. Lee Wilder’s other films are in the public domain, so it’s probably pretty cheap if it isn’t free.
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2mE7QGtQqI

Lovely restored HD print: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8WDHWbghn4

#2 — Terror Beneath the Sea (1966) This movie is a bizarre Japanese/American/German co-production with a surprisingly diverse cast (one of those films where everybody speaks their own language and gets dubbed later) starring Sonny Chiba, who MSTies will recognize as “Space Chief” from Invasion of the Neptune Men , long before he became a martial arts legend and costar of Quentin Tarantino movies. It’s an odd mashup of Toho-esque rubber monster suits and your standard cheap Italian James Bond rip-off spy movie, with a script only marginally more coherent than ‘Mighty Jack.’
The plot basically involves your typical handsome investigative reporter who’s invited to sit in on a demonstration of the Navy’s latest top secret underwater missile project (somebody really needs to explain to the military what “top secret” means) along with his perfectly hair-helmeted photographer and possible love interest, though this being the 60’s their Asian male/white female romance is kept strictly platonic. During the demonstration, they briefly see a mysterious shape pass in front of the camera for a few seconds, and instead of assuming it’s just a piece of seaweed or some other random piece of floating ocean garbage, they instantly jump to the conclusion that it was some sort of sea monster responsible for sabotaging the project …which against all odds, actually turns out to be the correct hypothesis.

These monsters look like cross-eyed silver spray-painted Sleestaks (but are referred to as “water cyborgs”) under the control of a dollar store Blofeld in wrap-around sunglasses who has his very own secret underwater lair, from which he’s been sending his army of cybernetic fish people to abduct the world’s top scientists in order to force them build more cybernetic fish people (it’s a vicious cycle.) His eventual goal is to convert the entire human race into cyborg fish slaves… in order to achieve world peace. These “water cyborgs” have the strength of 10 men, but prefer to just shoot people in the chest using handguns fitted with silencers. Also, they are all controlled from a single oversized washing machine dial labeled “Work - Rest - Fight”, which invariably gets broken and stuck in the “Fight” position during a convoluted model sequence where the bad guys somehow manage to shoot their own underwater base with a missile (don’t ask) causing the cyborgs to go haywire and start attacking everybody in sight.

This movie is in the public domain and I don’t know how, but the print looks absolutely gorgeous. It’s easily the best looking public domain movie I’ve ever seen. It ticks all the boxes for maximum riffability, though because it’s dubbed, a lot of the expositionary dialogue does get mashed together with smaller than normal gaps in-between lines for inserting riffs. It’s not a constant thing; some scenes are run-on dialogue heavy but others are just the cast pulling various faces and making those “uhhh” “ahhh” “ohhh” reaction noises that seem to be a staple of every badly dubbed Japanese monster movie.
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0H2C6kuto

HD Print: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLKXsS_Qjrw
terrorbsea5



#3 — The Cyclops (1957) - The last of the classic 50’s Bert I. Gordon pictures left unriffed. Probably because the guys were sick and tired of riffing on the same terrible stock footage recycled from ‘King Dinosaur.’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iiYH7NmTdQ

#4 — The Devil’s Eight (1969) - This is the movie Ross Hagan made back to back with ‘Sidehackers.’ It’s a shameless rip-off of ‘The Dirty Dozen,’ where a federal agent decides to take down the criminal empire of a couple of moonshiners (who apparently have more money and influence than the Mafia) so he gets the brilliant idea of enlisting the help of a local chain gang because… uhh… reasons. This movie contains almost as much stupid as ‘Sidehackers’ and ‘The Hellcats,’ but is thankfully less rapey.

#5 — Dimension 5 (1966) - An ultra cheesy time travel spy movie from the same brilliant minds who brought you ‘The Human Duplicators’ and ‘Women of the Prehistoric Planet.’ This one stars Jeffrey Hunter, the original Captain Pike from Star Trek (actually, a few Star Trek guest actors pop up in this one) and Oddjob from ‘Goldfinger’ (who wasn’t paid enough to stand.) The whole thing appears to have been filmed on approximately the same budget as an episode of ‘Time Tunnel’ and routinely forgets that it’s hero has the ability to go back in time just by cinching up his time travel belt. There may not be a “hikeeba” in this one, but one of the movie’s support thugs somehow manages to bear an uncanny resemblance to both Tor Johnson and Dom Deluise, if that’s a selling point.
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDlsIZEuLZo

Okay print, but there’s a higher quality restored version up on Amazon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EimxJAcoU8


#6 — War of the Robots (1978) - Not to be confused with ‘Robot Wars’, which Joel has already confirmed will be riffed, this one features Antonio Sabato (better known to MSTies as Toblerone from ‘Escape 2000’) wearing an orange pleather jumpsuit and fighting “robots” in blonde Prince Valliant wigs in the third in a not-quite-connected trilogy of terrible Italian ‘Star Wars’ rip-off movies. And boy howdy, I’m not kidding about the rip-off part. There are all manner of terrible sub-Battlestar Galactica level “aliens”, goofy hairstyles, “laser sword” fights, and the entire 3rd act is one long protracted space battle, but instead of a trench run on the Death Star you get Toblerone and a couple of other guys in knock-off X-wing pilot helmets sitting in some dark nether-void that’s supposed to be a cockpit killing the the same flying saucer models over and over again, while an unrelated triangle shoots some circles on some kid’s vectrex. The director also apparently decided the best way to hide their crappy sets was by shooting every scene they could in maximum close-up, so get used to seeing a lot of Antonio Sabato’s swarthy grinning slab-o-face. I think 90% of the budget went into providing ridiculous wigs and space suits, and the remaining 10% into tooth whitener to keep Antonio’s choppers absolutely flawless at all times. Not only is this one of the most unashamedly cheesy sci-fi movies I’ve ever seen, it’s also fully in the public domain.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMloj5Y3vA0

Okay print, but there are better commercial DVD copies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb7rNA8rjCY
WOTR1

#7Latitude Zero (1970) - Another one for the probably public domain pile.

Latitude Zero (1970) is one of those odd American/Japanese co-production where everybody spoke their own language and got dubbed later on, which is supposedly in the public domain because the rights were co-owned between Toho Studios in Japan, and Four Star Productions in America, who went bankrupt, and the rights got held up in legal red tape for decades, and then allowed to expire.

It’s got Joseph Cotten as a flamboyantly kerchiefed submarine captain (who’s career appears to have taken a nose dive after ‘Citizen Kane’ and ‘The Third Man’), Cesar Romero as a scheming mad scientist named Malic with a hidden fortress on Blood Rock Island, and a similarly nonsensical plot for global domination involving abducted scientists, secret formulas, warring submarines (i.e. lots of Toho model shots), and generically mutated henchmen. Only in this case, the henchmen are Bat Men instead of Fish People (poor Cesar Romero should have known better than to mess around with bats) a few giant rats, and a manticore (incorrectly referred to as a griffon) which Malic literally creates because he just happens to have both a lion and a condor lying around and decides it would be a really good idea to fuse the two together and surgically implant the brain of a submarine captain who “failed him for the last time.” Understandably, this does not go according to plan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEMDfCwnRGw
latitude Zero


latitudezero2

#8 — The Gypsy Moon (1954) One of the earlier Rocky Jones “movies.” Don’t worry, Winky and Bobby are still just as punchable as you remember. This is also the “movie” that introduces us to John Banner and BOOPIE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lneQhOXPj5w&t=716s


Gypsy_Moon1

#9 — Battle of the Worlds (1961) Another Public Domain movie that I’m amazed that I’m amazed never got used on MST3K because it’s a perfect storm of overacted non-action, cookie cutter characters, made cheaply in Italy production values, theremin music, and a pre-Star Trek era vision of mankind’s exciting future where everything is rocket-powered and usually preceded with the word “Space.”

Plot-wise, it’s actually a bit similar to Crash of the Moons , in that a “rogue planet” enters the solar system, and appears to be on a collision course with Earth, and only a curmudgeony Claude Rains (who looks like he would be right at home swatting at imaginary elves with Grandpa on the front porch) is smart enough to realize the planet is under alien control, and the only way they can stop it is by leading an expedition to the mysterious planet and shutting down it’s computer-controlled flying saucer defense fleet, so they can “safely” nuke it from orbit.

Oh, it also contains the greatest F. U. epitaph in cinema history as Rains’ character refuses to leave the about-to-be-nuked planet because of SCIENCE! (which he seems absolutely ecstatic about), and as survivors watch an old man explode from the safety of their rocket ship, the Commander woodenly delivers the immortal line “Poor Benson—if they’d opened up his chest, they’d find a formula… where his heart should have been.” Cut to a shot of Benson’s little dog waiting patiently by the window for him to return home. Fade to black. And now you have that depressing Futurama episode stuck in your head for the rest of the afternoon. You’re welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLqz2ckCPuQ

#10 — Night Fright (1967) I’m not going to lie, this one is pretty rough. As in somewhere between ‘Attack of the the Eye Creatures’ and ‘Monster A-Go Go’ level bad. I can totally see it being one of those films that they watched for MST3K and immediately dismissed. It’s another one of those “Oh crap, we forgot to make a monster, just slap a paper mache mask on a rented gorilla costume and call it good” films that were so prevalent in the 60’s. It also stars John Agar, and there’s a huge chunk of the movie that’s just random extras out in the woods shaking their hinders while some guy noodles around on a guitar. But it’s got plenty of POV cam monster peeping on necking teens (all played by actors in their 40’s), dumb ass cops, not-so-subtle product placement, blue-for-night filming, mom’s station wagon filling in for a police vehicle. All the ingredients needed for a perfect MST3K smoothee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxBQ-LhlDGs


nightfright1_

#11 — Golden Needles (1974) Joe Don Baker stars in a kung-fu remake of ‘The Maltese Falcon.’ No, I’m not making that up. Also Burgess Meridith plays the bad guy, and at one point they got Jim Kelly to wander onto set and perform a fight scene and then wander off again. (He gets second billing, by the way.) If ‘Walking Tall’ was the movie that made Joe Don Baker’s acting career, this was arguably the movie that broke it. You haven’t been properly blooded as a MST3K host until you’ve riffed a Joe Don Baker movie, and despite the mention of “pleasure and sexual prowess” in the trailer, this movie is purely in the PG-13 category. Fair warning, there is a tiny bit of male hinder nudity (thankfully, not Joe Don’s) in one sequence, so Jonah or Emily may have to open up an umbrella for a few seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTi2DvIgPdc


golden-needles-lg

#12 — Sting of Death (1964) Not to be confused with the Boris Karloff movie of the same name. Somehow, the director of ‘Wild Rebels’ got Neil Sedaka to compose a “hit single” called ‘Do the Jelly’ for this “bullied mad scientist builds an underwater lair and turns himself into a killer jellyfish” movie filmed on location in the Florida everglades. It stars absolutely nobody (I checked IMDB, the main character had a bit part on Flipper, and you’ll recognize the villain from ‘Wild Rebels’) and looks like it was made on the same weekend as ‘The Blood Waters of Doctor Z’ for about 1/10th of the budget. Honestly, if this gets riffed, it may actually be the worst monster in MST3K movie history. It is clearly and without question just a guy in a wet suit with an inflated plastic garbage bag over his head. Strangely, while the monster and underwater lair set are both laughably horrible, the cinematography is actually fairly competent, and it’s got to be the most puritanical teen-sploitation film I’ve ever seen, as every single female character bizarrely decides to do all their swimming fully clothed. (Though there is one shower scene where you can sort of see a tiny bit of female butt and a hint of breast through the glass door. I’m just going to assume this was purely accidental, or more obvious on the restored print, since the director seems to have gone out of his way to ensure no other female fleshy bits are seen anywhere else in the movie)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDRa_KWgVdU
Here’s a decent quality print of the entire movie, but you can find an even better one on BluRay as part of the “William Grefé collection” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT656nJn3PI



#13 — Puss in Boots (1961) Perhaps you’ve heard of a fellow by the name of K. Gordon Murray who brought you the little cinematic gem called ‘Santa Claus?’ (also ‘The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t’ and ‘Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy’) Well, ‘Puss in Boots’ is another pants-crapping insane childrens’ matinee movie imported from Mexico, recut and redubbed by Murray, with random musical numbers added in for good measure. If anything, this movie may be even crazier than ‘Santa Claus’ since the titular character is a midget wearing a nightmare-inducing cat costume who clearly should not be allowed to handle sharp instruments (or regular instruments either, for that matter.) Note: I have a copy of the “Murray Cut” of this movie that I got from one of those cheap public domain movie distributors, but the sound is horrible with an audible hiss present throughout most the movie. Since I haven’t seen it posted online, I’m hoping that there’s a better quality version out there somewhere for someone with the right connections.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri6tN9bjszs


PUSS01
PUSS02
PUSS06
PUSS08
PUSS13

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DeepHurting, you are now my brother from another mother, or my sister from another mister!

This list is a taste of perfection and so many of the movies here are ones I also had in previous lists! The smile upon my face when I saw “The Cyclops” was ear to ear.

I only found out about “Sting of Death” about 2/3 months ago and the minute I saw it I KNEW this had the DNA to be a classic!

Amazing work here my friend.

I take my hat off to you-

Sincerely,
The World’s Most Interesting Werewolf

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I second that, a great list DeepHurting - and hey, links… I have much to watch.

Of those I have seen - Sting of Death would be brilliant - Latitude Zero, love it - and I’ll always be happy to see more from Mr. B.I.G.

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Oh my. That is breathtaking.

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Mentioned this in another thread, but it’s safe to say that all of W. Lee Wilder’s movies need to be riffed. I honestly have no idea why they didn’t riff any of them during the first few seasons of MST3K, because most are public domain or at least so cheap to license that they always seem to show up on those “50 movies of 10 DVDs” collections from Mill Creek.

Wilder was prolific enough that that they could almost fill an entire season with nothing but his work, but I’m pretty sure the writers would all have to be placed on suicide watch afterwards. He’s the only filmmaker I can think of capable of out Coleman Francising Coleman Francis (and like Francis, he’s also a big fan of the random voice-over narration during scenes where for whatever reason, they decided not to roll sound.)

In addition to The Man Without a Body (1958), which I mentioned above, Killers from Space (which was already done by The Film Crew), and Phantom From Space (recently riffed on by The Mads), some of Wilder’s greatest non-hits include:

https://aws1.discourse-cdn.com/standard11/uploads/mst3k/original/2X/5/5a910750567994c207fc3d8316e37e5b9c93d405.jpeg
The Snow Creature (1954) which came out the following year at the exact same time as the infinitely superior Nigel Kneale penned Hammer classic The Abominable Snowman .

Almost 50% of the movie is just people silently trudging back and forth through the snow somewhere in the Sierra Nevadas pretending they’re in Tibet. Even King Dinosaur didn’t have this much rock climbing. And the back half of the movie isn’t much better with the captured “creature” (who quite frankly, just looks like a regular guy in a furry onezie and one of those Russian hats with the big ear flaps) being brought back to civilization, where, after a short Buddy Rich drum solo on the inside of his refrigerated cargo container, it promptly escapes into L.A. causing front-page headlines and a city-wide manhunt consisting of about 4 guys searching for him around Griffith Park, a meat packing plant, and anywhere else they could film Walk The Dark Streets style without a permit. The film has almost zero pay-off (the monster just wanders into a net, grabs one of the detectives and gets shot) and ends on a rather flat joke where one of the detectives learns that his wife has just given birth and seems almost annoyed that he’s expected to go over to the hospital to see his kid rather than kicking back with some beers and hitting the local strip club with the professor who started this whole mess.

His next film was one of those “creepy pencil-mustached lothario marries a woman then tried to kill her off to steal her fortune” movies called The Big Bluff (1955) , which I haven’t seen, but it stars John Bromfield, who MSTies may recognize from Revenge of the Creature .
image

This was followed up by Fright (1956) , which is another middle of the season MST3K-worthy classic about a psychologist with Neil Connery like powers of hypnotism (which somehow makes him more of of a target for the paparazzi than Princess Di making out with Taika Waititi while wearing a Spiderman costume) who get involved with a mysterious woman who just sort of shows up in his car one day insisting he needs to help her with her ill-defined anxiety problems, and despite saying he doesn’t date clients or treat friends, immediately asks her out to dinner and starts hypnotizing her where it’s revealed she has a past life split personality time-share thing going on with the ghost of a murdered German princess, as is so often the case in these modern relationships. Also, the police totally allow an escaped murderer to roam free so he can play a role in the doctor’s little parlor game mystery, and potentially get killed or kill someone else in the process, and nobody seems to have the slightest problem with either part of this plan.


https://aws1.discourse-cdn.com/standard11/uploads/mst3k/original/2X/1/1b367fed50d46051d245e88a235511e11c2f3156.jpeg

After that came Manfish (1956) which sounds awesome, but it turns out it’s just a plodding retelling of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Gold-Bug , and sadly not a Roger Corman-eque story about a mutant fish man. This one also stars John Bromfield as well as human sourdough starter Lon Chaney Jr. and Barbara Nichols from The Human Duplicators .

image

Wilder next made Spy in the Sky (1958) which was a low budget attempt at an espionage/spy thirller, that contains more nondescript interchangible hat-wearing characters than Phantom from Space and Radar Secret Service combined. The movie poster strongly implies some sort of sci-fi elements, but really it’s just a fairly straightforward U.S. and foreign agents are both looking for the same scientist who is conveniently the only man who can control a powerful new spy satellite. Eagle-eyed MSTies will recognize Steve Brodie who also appeared in The Wild World of Batwoman and Giant Spider Invasion.

image

This was followed by Bluebeard’s 10 Honeymoons (1960) , another “guy marries and kills women to get their money” flick, except this time the guy in question is marrying and killing women so he can sell their expensive antique furniture.

His last two pictures (in color, not that that makes a huge difference) were Caxambu (1967) which I can’t seem to find a copy of, but stars the guy who played Miro in Gunslinger as a thief who hijacks a plane full of jewels and crash-lands into the Brazilian rain forest where the survivors are beset by bloodthirsty cannibals, and The Omegans (1968) which I think I saw on TMC a long long time ago.

https://aws1.discourse-cdn.com/standard11/uploads/mst3k/original/2X/f/fc490b83ea4b9d94aae08475e80126b71c0e4b51.jpeg

This was Ingrid Pitt’s first starring role and another bizarre not-quite-a-monster movie that was possibly trying to rip-off some of the early Hammer/Amicus slightly supernatural-tinted B pictures, where a painter decides the best way to get revenge on his unfaithful wife isn’t by shooting or strangling her, but by making her pose for a portrait next to a radioactive river (don’t ask), which slowly makes her turn luminous green and wrinkly. Also, there are some creatures called Omegans living under the water, but they don’t actually have anything significant to do with the plot, and they didn’t have the FX budget to actually show them or make them do anything interesting so the occasional white smudge superimposed over shots of the river will just have to do

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Anyone ever seen Nukie?

I found an old write-up on a flashdrive a while back, it was for something like this (a dream season list, though I don’t know if there’s anything dreamy about this flick). I wrote…

Nukie is about 2 alien brothers with snot running down their noses, who find themselves separated while visiting Earth. One ends up in Africa, the other in America where he is subject to all types of torture at the hands of curious scientists. This is suppose to be a kids flick I guess, but the screams and needles and probes are more the stuff of nightmares. Mentally scar the kiddies, yeah, why not. And to add to the horror, cast Steve Railsback, who was so warm and cuddly as Charles Manson in the film “Helter Skelter”.

A feast for the eyes (Nukie looks like he was carved from excrement) and ears (Ahh, such joy to hear that tinny alien voice shout for its brother ad-nauseum) - This is the kind of cinematic torture Dr. Forrester would have felt bad for inflicting on his subjects.

I mean, that’s sounds fun, right? :wink:

1 Like

I made a playlist of movies that should be on MST3K.

  1. Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four
  2. Rockula
  3. Meet the Applegates
  4. Reborn (starring Dennis Hopper)
  5. Attack of the Puppet People
  6. The Giant Claw
  7. Hercules '83
  8. All the movies (except Eegah) from the live tours
  9. The Thing With Two Heads
  10. Sssssss
  11. Any of the movies from the KTMA Season excluding the ones rebroadcast on Season 3.(Hangar 18, Phase 4, City on Fire, The Last Chase, etc.)
  12. Damned! (Directed by Murr from Impractical Jokers)
  13. Konga

Playlist does have more suggestions. I could go on…

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So Unfortunatly I don’t know that many bad movies, and also I don’t know about licensing… and some of these have been on other shows in the extended MSTie-verse (cinematic Titanic, & Film Crew)

-Master Ninja III (this episode was almost made, but they did sampson vs Vampire women instead)

  • Genocide (featured on Cinematic Titanic)

-East meets Watts (Also featured on Cinematic Titanic)

-Reefer Madness (this one has probably been on CT or FC or an older episode of MST3K…IDK)

-Terror Of Tiny Town (Referenced in Villiage of The Giants, I didn’t actually know it was a real movie)

-The Conqueror (aka The movie that was filmed on a Nuclear Test Site)

-A Place for Lovers (One of the few sixties movies on wikipedia’s List of films considered to be the worst that Hasn’t been on Mst3k)

-An American Hippie in Israel

-The Man who Saved The world (Actually That movie was never released in english… so unless there’s a dubbed version Turkish Star wars is a no-go)

-Nukie (It’s a South African ripoff of ET that makes Mac and Me look like a masterpiece)

(those are all I can think of)

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Some great picks on here. :slight_smile:

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Uggggg- we were soooo close to getting the -Master Ninja trilogy riffed! That said, I feel as Frank’s farewell episode, “Sampson vs Vampire women” felt right. :slight_smile: