Create your own cheesy movie concept

I Accuse my Grandparents. A young man descends into a life of crime after being refused a Wether’s Original.

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But does he buy a Chevrolet?!? :sweat:

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Oooh, I’ve got another one! Inspired by the recent trend of biopics focusing on the making of an iconic product like Flamin’ Hot Cheetos or Air Jordans (which are totally movies and not 2 hour long commercials inundating viewers with corporate propaganda), comes my latest brainstorm.

Coming This Summer

HAMDINGERS : The Motion Picture

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I would humbly suggest:

Forgotten Crate: The Hamdinger Story

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I think I’ve got a good one:

One music artist that I’m familiar with but others are not is Jana Stanfield, whose albums include I’m Not Lost, I Am Exploring, Brave Faith, and Let the Change Begin. Now, if she were to make a 90-minute long 3D concert movie with a title that’s somewhere along the line of Jana Stanfield: The 3D Concert Experience, I imagine that the movie would be poorly received for its misuse of 3D and weak production values. So, if MST3K were to riff Jana Stanfield’s 3D concert movie, that would give her a lot more attention. Jonah (or Emily) and the Bots would most likely poke fun at the ridiculous costumes and the odd camera movements. One of Stanfield’s songs that would likely be featured in the movie is “All the Good”, whose melody bears some striking similarites to that of “Part of Your World” from Disney’s The Little Mermaid; the MST3K gang would go: “She’s butchering a song from The Little Mermaid!” “Howard Ashman must be rolling over in his grave.”

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Mitchell 2: The Baby Oil Murders!

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When I often think of raunch teen sex comedies, I think of a number of them from the 80’s, and think: you know what that bad Son of the Mask film could have done?

Show that kid with the powers of the mask…in high school! Heck, maybe he controls his powers, but once he gets into high school, his hormones kick in, and we get to see some creative CGI, so to speak.

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Billy In The Sky (c1978?)

I’m still working out what my imaginary unearthed extra Coleman Francis film would look like. At this point, I’m thinking it’d be a rip-off… er, homage to Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. Coleman graduates to color film but everything still looks drab and empty. However, since he has a more lavish budget now, the action is in some city with a population of at least 1,000 people.

“Grace,” the Alice stand-in and the other women in the diner are probably bumped off in gratuitous ways one by one. By Coleman’s character who is an escaped convict now in disguise as the Mel stand-in. Then there’s some shootings from a helicopter so justice is served. But we are all still left feeling empty. The bland, gloomy shooter “hero” (Tony Cardoza) is a cop moonlighting as a roving traffic reporter. Or vice-versa. He is pined for by both “Grace” and his wife. (Of course, all the women are half the men’s age and get little if any dialogue.)

Oh, and since Coleman lived longer, there’d be either disco dancers or a Jerry Reed impersonator serving as narrator/prophet/Greek chorus.

And no, Joel. You can’t have a cyanide tooth. Step up to the plate, Man. I believe in you.

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T’appenin’
A mysterious sleeping sickness sweeps the UK, leading residents of a northern town to retreat/disperse to the self isolation of the Moors, unaware that the sickness is being caused by the very plant life in which they’re seeking refuge. Yeah it’s a remake of The Happening, no nothing much 'appens.

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The Christmas That Really Kicked Ass (1981)

Help me out here, Fans. Obviously this should be a cheap, melodramatic martial arts pastiche but who can we involve who was in their heyday in the early 1980s? I’m kinda’ leaning towards Timothy Van Patten versus John Saxon. There’s a folksy old toy factory in a pretty little snowy small town and evil drug lords want to tear it down and build a skyscraper or something. But then a handsome drifter rolls into town on a horse-drawn scooter to save the day and stuff. Whadaya’ think, Sirs? Who should direct? Who should be the slumming-it, underused love interest? Who should provide our terrible, immediately forgotten Christmas theme song?

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That sounds like it should star KISS.

Or the Bee Gees and Billy Preston? (With Preston as a hero this time. Maybe he could be Santa?)

Tyler Perry’s beloved character returns to take on D&D in…

Tyler Perry’s Madea Rolls For Initiative

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My dream machine came up with a cheesy movie last night but now it’s a hazy memory. What I do know is that it was for some late '00s Syfy flick that involved plague birds invading a town. The kicker is that the attack… never actually happens. Or it did and we never saw it on-screen. Sounds funny but it must make for a frustrating watch.

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I often wondered about Village of the Giants being re-imagined as a raunchy 80’s, Spring Break film.

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Who takes over for Tommy Kirk? :thinking:

My first thought was Billy Warlock.

Another dream of a cheesy movie came to me! This time, some humanoid creature- Predator thing was on the loose and got folks in the 'hood confused. A white-collar worker is hot on its trail and this leads to a battle at the supermarket where two kids examine the action. Everyone else keeps shopping as if nothing’s happening.

Yeah… I don’t know what to make of it either.

so, my high school’s doing a production of Our Town (in which I am involved), and that got a few friends and I thinking…

Hear me out, because this is a bit off the wall.
A film sequel to the original play where it is revealed that every production of the play is another instance of a time loop that the characters cannot escape. However, the loop has accidentally broken, causing time to flow as normal. However, this does not come without consequences that radically mess up the timeline. There are a lot of plot threads here, but the main one we’ve come up with is that the father of the female lead character is the keeper of the loop, and as such, he is the only one in the town who remembers past loops, but he must also ensure that the events transpire exactly as they occurred previously. His son had died during a time jump in the original, when bad water caused him to pass during a camping trip. However, in the loop this story stems from, since natural elements are unaffected by the time loop, the water was originally clean enough to drink, which would usually mean that the son would come back alive, right? Wrong. To the father’s dismay, to ensure the events of the loop remained intact, he had to sabotage the water supply. However, once a character dies, they are free of the loop, and the son sees what happened in actuality. So, one year after the events of the original play, the kid comes back from the dead Crow-style to exact revenge on his father. Yet, the crumbling of the loop causes more mayhem than intended, and reality itself collapses, leaving father and son to fight for the fate of the universe. Vengeance is taken when the father is killed by his resurrected son, and the timeline fixes itself, and the son returns to the grave, at peace.
Of course, other surviving characters from the original will be factored in, but this is just one of the plot threads in Our Town II: Armageddon.

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Isn’t this just every episode of Trek where something goes wrong with a holodeck or a transporter, or both at the same time?

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