…" to coin a phrase."

Because it’s funny!

God, I love Tom


Potatoes are what we eat.

Out of all the many Sword and Sorcery flicks riffed, definitely the most obnoxious protagonist.


I’m still traumatized by Deathstalker 2. I actually made the mistake of renting that way back in the day. You knew it was going to be a ride when the movie actually has the line “I’ll have my revenge! And Deathstalker too!”


Ok, so I watched Deathstalker during lunch today. It has been years since I watched this one. And a few things stood out to me.

For one I was surprised that during the, uhmm, “romantic” (bleh) scene with potato/arrow girl the music being played was some of Toto’s airy space themes from Dune. huh.

And the main villain is played by Thom Christopher. If you are old enough to remember, he played Hawk on Buck Rodgers. And now he has the dubious honour of being a part of what might be the worst choreographed sword fight in film history. I mean…wow.
Just, wow.

And our protagonist has what might be the most slappable face I have seen in a long while. At no point does he drop the smug expression. I assume that is just his resting face.


I haven’t seen it. But have you seen the final He-Man vs. Skeletor battle in the 1987 Masters of the Universe movie?


To his and Mr. Relson’s credit, they had about half an hour to choreograph that fight scene themselves

Oh, Master of the Universe is a guilty pleasure of mine. Yeah, that final fight is so bleh. It’s a classic example of the banging-two-sticks-together fight style. They are aiming for each other weapons instead of each other.

By the way, that’s Frank Langella under the skull mask there. It just does not sound anything like him.

Wow. That does explain a lot. There are multiple examples in the fight of someone starting to stab their opponent and just stopping. And many more of someone just holding a sword and not doing anything with it. Even the riffs were commenting on it, calling the film out for filming the rehersal.

Half an hour. Geeze might well ask them to make it up as you go along.


The director of MotU 1987 stated on the DVD commentary that they’d completely run out of time and budget for the planned He-Man & Skeletor fight. So on his own time using his own cash, he got some lightning gels, got a camera guy and basically had the actors do a token fight sequence for him as a favor so the film would still have SOMETHING. I don’t know if that’s impressive or really sad. Or both.