Everything I Need to Know I Learned From MST3K

I learned that Mark has a theory. Mark always has a theory!

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I learned that bringing Mike down leaves a lot open to ambiguity

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That lesson gets applied in SO MUCH fiction

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I learned that Mike really liked sailor suits.

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I learned that of all the hosts, Mike – and Mike alone – can’t build robots.

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Well, the others all worked for Gizmonic, so they’ve already got a foot in mad scientist territory.

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Somehow, I can’t picture Joel as a mad scientist. A slightly peeved lab assistant, perhaps.

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Maybe not a straightforward mad scientist, but may I present Exhibit A: Joey the Lemur.

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The poster for that YouTube clip may feel it’s in high definition, but remember that all the MST3K episodes from the first 10 seasons were mastered in SD.

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Would we really want or need Joey to be any more highly defined than he already was?

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I learned that the S in Gizmonics is optional.

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I learned that bat-people can’t fly and instead have to chase their victims on foot

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Just as well. A werebat would probably fly just as ungracefully as a Pumaman.

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That was the best (only?) take

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Joey the Lemur is one of the great mysteries of MST3K. I’ve seen it described as the “4:30 on a Friday” sketch.

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It doesn’t help that the song is performed before the kinkajou (it wasn’t a lemur) shows up in the movie.

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Gotta say, I was hoping that we’d see Joey make a comeback in S13…

Maybe S14.

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I learned that getting on the Information Superhighway is really hard.

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I learned that since Crow’s mile high meringue pie was literally a mile high, never, ever let him talk you into trying his dump cake.

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I learned that Peter Graves went to the University of Minnesota.

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