I learned that Space has a Prince, and presumably a King, Queen, and Princess. It appears weapons have no effect on them.
I learned that children are terrifying. Especially little girls!
I learned that human knowledge, even in it’s most exaulted form, is nothing against fate.
I learned that there was a dark and disturbing animosity just lying beneath the surface of the Orville Redenbacher popcorn commercials.
I learned that Mr. Beardsley won’t come no matter how many times you say his name.
I learned that med school students in the 1960s looked OLD AS HELL.
I learned that Davey will be okay as long as Battlestar Galactica is never cancelled.
I learned that there was no ‘too beneath me’ for either Donald Pleasance or Jack Palance.
Or Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine.
I still haven’t learned how they eat or breathe. And other science facts.
I learned that Clint Eastwood had to get his start SOMEWHERE.
Roughly 75% of men are named Steve.
…or Ken. The ones you really want to stay away from are named Paul.
I learned that there is no non-embarrassing way to teach certain elements of bicycle safety.
Now, son, it’s time you learned to ride a bike. Excuse me while I put on my Buster Brown cosplay.
Turns out he’s just Minsky in a fursuit.
I learned that it’s always synchronized swimming when you swim alone.
Which reminds me – I learned that the atomic powered robot specifically wanted me to give his best wishes to everybody. It seems like a daunting task and I have been putting it off for a while, but I guess I will begin with you folks. so . . .
“Attention (insert your name here)! The atomic powered robot would like to give you his best wishes.” Now, if you could perhaps spread the word amongst your friends and family, it would save me some time.