Please somebody splice together Santo In The Treasure of Dracula with Horrors of Spider Island. But make the time-traveler lingerie model the action quasi-hero, instead of “Gary.” I mean, she has more personality than he does. Not to mention more than any of the dancing ladies. Though that’s not saying much. Also, if Santo were the scientist stuck on the island, I’m pretty sure he’d manage to not get killed before the film even started rolling. Just sayin’. 
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