Explain a MST3K episode plot badly.

Okay MSTies, Let’s see how many you can guess out of 100:

  1. Two strong-willed performing artists have a falling-out over dietary restrictions.

  2. A scientist gets to go home with a hot chick from the office after a failed beta test.

  3. In the process of visiting an old teacher, a crossfit enthusiast learns how to hang-glide.

  4. A down-on-his-luck teenager gets free tires… but then promptly loses them.

  5. A young man thinks his town sucks so he convinces some other guys to go bird watching in an attempt to find happiness.

  6. A brooding delinquent is accused of murder because he littered.

  7. A man in a bar goes where everybody knows his name.

  8. The Irish finally get revenge on the British.

  9. A young man ditches work on his first day to go visit a strip club.

  10. A former astronaut finds it difficult to make friends and is eventually devoured by cats.

  11. World domination is briefly interrupted by an argument about fish.

  12. A corporation finds itself in big trouble after they place one of their employees on administrative leave and preventing him from having a sex-change operation.

  13. After destroying some perfectly good produce, an irate man has a disagreement about gym policies.

  14. The hunt for a misplaced rug disrupts a high-school dance.

  15. A man without a business license hands out free samples in an attempt to solicit positive Yelp reviews.

  16. An enterprising woman’s female-oriented start-up company is plagued by unreliable employees and interference from the Man.

  17. Scientists go to elaborate lengths to decipher a garbled message sent in a file format nobody uses any more.

  18. A nosy teacher and her friends pry into the personal affairs of her students.

  19. Four bored women are encouraged to take up new hobbies and go back to school.

  20. A scientist is shocked to discover his peaceful new invention can be used for other purposes.

  21. A dedicated man dies at his desk while attempting to restore a city’s crumbling infrastructure.

  22. A small girl acquires a new pet during a sub-par vacation.

  23. A grasshopper is responsible for disrupting traffic in Chicago.

  24. A dumb-ass teen loses his wallet multiple times.

  25. A carnie uses hypnosis to get women, and it works… actually, it works a little too well.

  26. A shadowy figure from the underworld has only 48 hours to try to prevent a powerful sweatshop operator from breaking into the homes of several under-aged children.

  27. In a shocking twist, human life on Earth only exists because of racism.

  28. A botched kidnapping results in a lazy man receiving a promotion.

  29. A man dresses up as himself to go sight-seeing in Hawaii.

  30. An astronaut experiences unexpected shrinkage after a long journey in space.

  31. Failure to adhere to OSHA safety regulations results in the closing of another struggling Midwest business.

  32. A man turns his garage door opener into a weapon.

  33. An out of work actor must kill time during a four-hour layover.

  34. A strong-willed woman overcomes her disability and makes a new friend while her husband it out looking for prostitutes.

  35. Corporate greed results in spilt beer.

  36. A wealthy island recluse offers a quartet of college students jobs.

  37. A man has a bad experience with mushrooms out in the woods.

  38. A Russian’s first visit to the United States results in long periods of awkward silence.

  39. A traveling couple forget something important on their journey and must return to collect it after being chewed out by their boss.

  40. An overly-common name nearly results in vehicular homicide.

  41. A married couple is surprised to encounter an old college chum they had lost touch with.

  42. A young man goes to court after a hefty restaurant bill.

  43. A man is forced to make excuses when his wife shows up at his place of work. Meanwhile, a young lad finds an unconventional way to reunite his estranged family.

  44. A drifter who talks to motorcycles recklessly destroys valuable property.

  45. A man’s fishing holiday must be interrupted due to unexpected heart surgery.

  46. Television service in Los Angeles is briefly disrupted due to fog.

  47. A murdered pet results in a meet-cute.

  48. A homeless man with a speech impediment visits an airport and then a nightclub.

  49. A Spanish immigrant finds himself with the intervention of some helpful ranch hands.

  50. Lack of tanning options leads to the collapse of a once proud civilization.

  51. An animal abuser recounts the time medical school was briefly livened up by a college hazing incident.

  52. Luckily, white people are magical holy creatures who can do no wrong.

  53. A whisper thin gentleman has a disagreement with a chicken.

  54. Scientists finally find a use for dumb people.

  55. A student returns home to commit multiple murders after being pestered by his father.

  56. A brilliant mathematician learns she isn’t going to live forever and decides to settle in the remaining time left.

  57. Hitchhiking kick-starts a successful music career but results in questionable dietary choices.

  58. A long-distance gift exchange backfires.

  59. A lengthy walk through Central Park ends at a power station after two robots fail to see a snowstorm in China.

60 and 61) A self-starting ex convict seeks to improve his financial situation after being offered a new job by a helpful stranger. (This one actually describes two different movies)

  1. A father inadvertently misses his daughter’s birthday party.

  2. An awkward weekend getaway means a terrible record will probably never be released.

  3. Frequent bank-turns eventually force a cat-fancier to shoot himself.

  4. Showing up in costume when it isn’t Halloween is a good way to get yourself killed.

  5. A large man with a hefty appetite demonstrates how to live off the grid in Mexico.

  6. A union dispute ends in a hostage situation.

  7. An endangered species is wiped out due to the illegal activities of a game warden and some backwoods hillbillies.

  8. An ungrateful man locks his step-mother in the basement so he can steal her stuff.

  9. Ineffective cops enlist a crackpot to help close a case with the assistance of a machine that doesn’t work.

  10. The world is saved because of smooching. (Approximately 6 hours before the problem would have taken care of itself)

  11. An industrial arts project results in unusually inclement weather.

  12. A young woman must choose between her weird-faced boyfriend and an older man when forced into an unwanted relationship by her shut-in father.

  13. A woman learns to move on after the death of her husband with the help of a new job.

  14. Racial insensitivity disrupts an ongoing police investigation into a man’s stolen hearing aid.

  15. A new food additive results in unexpected breakthrough in breast enlargement.

  16. A man is nearly blamed for murder because of his own neck sweat.

  17. An unexpected miracle in a seaside town goes unappreciated by the local scientific community who decide to go shopping instead.

  18. Several inhabitants of a small island community die after one of them fails to remember the location of some dog food.

  19. A teenage layabout still managed to find a job, even after causing a fatal car crash.

  20. An annoying persistant bug nearly takes the entire U.S. Missile Defense program offline.

  21. A city boy tries (but fails) to go antiquing.

  22. A controlling scam artist gets burned after attempting to kindle a long-distance relationship with a married ham radio operator during a blackout.

  23. A man walks to Las Vegas without any pants on, picks a fight with a cowboy, then tragically drowns in the Colorado River.

  24. Poor choice of stucco forces a family to quit drinking and go on a long walk to the ocean.

  25. Boy throws milk. Father dies of shame.

  26. Pacific Island nation has a bad case of crabs.

  27. Mexico is tasked with filling a larger-than-average pothole.

  28. A violent and lazy man gets drunk and throws furniture around.

  29. One man’s greed tragically prevents coutless others from ever seeing the good stuff.

  30. Several women receive a free island get-away, but spend their time drinking and complaining.

  31. A man of mixed ethnicity travels a long way to visit a church and a strip club.

  32. A guy in a T-shirt is forced to break up an argument between two neighbors.

  33. A man’s prospective legal career flounders after an affair with an elderly woman.

  34. A man’s unusual collection of tchotchkes results in a daylight home-invasion.

  35. A reluctant traveler does not enjoy his visit to an aquarium in Florida.

  36. A man’s attempt to play a prank on his wife backfires.

  37. A couple breaks up after a disappointing trip to the local carnival.

  38. A man’s lie about his grandma gets an innocent stranger fired.

  39. A disturbed boy dreams of bubbles.