[clears throat]
Someone keeps drawing a mustache on Joe Don Baker’s portrait in the Schlitz™ Hall of Heroes.
(And they draw it above his brows instead of above his upper lip. Which is just plain weird, even for this place.)
Ivan, can you or someone else please upgrade Security and fix this? It’s really bugging me.
Thanks.
Lesley, every time I post on the forums, I get a little note that pops up and says, “Haven’t you already said enough around here, Chachi?” And I have to X it out if I want to post. And then afterwards it pops up a note that says, “typical.”
Need a plunger on the toilet aisle…
Someone tried out the thunder bucket display 
NOT AGAIN!! 
This is why I begged the Concessions Stand app designer to limit everyone to only two burritos per viewing. But nobody ever listens to me. 
My dot matrix printer is making Eye of the Tiger sounds again.
Yes hello, my Regular badge seems to have a bug. A few weeks ago it started saying “Very Regular”, then “A Little Too Regular Doncha Think?” and then “More Permanent than Regular” and now it just says “GO OUTSIDE FFS.”
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Help. Every time I try to post a video Yakety Sax ends up playing
Ahhh dang it!
People keep scrolling up cinemas in the Gizmoplex! HELP!
The Gizmoplex keeps calling every user “Steve.” Not everyone is Steve!
Yeah, I just got a call from one of guests saying that: tiny little evil furballs are eating all the snacks in the Gizmoplex, and there aren’t any food left for us to buy.
Sure, that’s why they claim there aren’t any raisin snails left. I don’t buy it.
Not every user.
The male Japanese visitors they keep calling Ken. Kid ones they call Kenny.
Also, there’s been loud sounds of rattling chains and moanings coming from dwellings. Not sure if that’s ghosts or gorillas. Could you check that out for us?
Ivan,
I keep getting bills in my DMs for several Cambots which have allegedly disappeared from outside the Gizmoplex. Look, that isn’t even me in your Security footage. You can tell because I stopped touching up my roots a year ago! And I’ve never owned a teal spacesuit. Teal makes me look sallow. Besides which, my lease doesn’t even let me have a Cambot at home. Can we please get this cleared up soon?!
Thanks.
– C_P
"Well, I like eggs. A lot, Howard. I love eggs. I loooooove eggs! I go in the coffeeshop in the hotel and I love eggs. I order the over-easy eggs. See, I like the eggs over-easy, they never come over-easy, that’s a hard egg to order.”
I keep breaking the cup holder that comes out of the side of my laptop.
Every time I go to watch a movie on the Gizmoplex, there’s these rude people in the front row who keep talking and making smart-mouth and rude comments.
Can’t you kick those people out of the thee-Aye-ter?
Ahhhh, we have sort of a problem here. Yeah, you apparently didn’t put one of the new cover sheets on your TPS reports. Yeah, you see we’re putting the cover sheets on all TPS reports now before they go out. Did you see the memo about this?
