Have you ever heard of…Concepts™?
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Right, let me forward you to our technobabble expert.
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Will someone from support please return my call at your earliest convenience? I’m having trouble getting my theramin to stay in tune.
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If you bought it from the gift shop, it’s not supposed to be in tune. Somebody on the marketing team thought Trombone Champ was hilarious.
If you didn’t, this is not the place to ask.
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It has come to our attention that the series of tubes that powers the Gizmoplex have gotten clogged. We’re still cleaning out the blood from the last intern that tried to fix it. We will be with you shortly.
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Here at Twitter your call is very important to us. Operators are standing by because we sold their chairs to help pay for toilet paper for the office.
Please leave a message if you hear a beep. If you hear a bang it’s probably another employee purge and you should call again later…
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Yes, that’s what killed the last intern.
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I miss the days when we just conked our temps and interns on the noggin and shot them into space.
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Just sounds like a lack of job commitment, back in my day we worked thru everything.
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Well, uh, we are currently situated on the moon at the moment, so the “in space” part is already well handled at the moment, you’ll be happy to hear.
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Bah! Back in my day, we paid to work at our jobs. And we liked it!
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Fake Help Desk. So Deep Hurting Desk, then?
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Exactly, what flavor would you like your hurting?
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Bold
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In that case, make your way to theater 6 for a showing of the Starfighters.
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Grape, sour.
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I’ll take the classic (and seasonal!) three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.
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[tries to call for assistance]
[is put on hold for eight hours while listening to a muzak version of “Wonderful Christmastime”]
sigh
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I’m sorry, you’ve caught Trevor during his scheduled “prime time nap” hours. What can I help you with?
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