What a difference a year makes! Here we are in Month #12 of the Gizmoplex Vault Picks, and to ring in the occasion, love (and laughs) will be in the air with this roundup of episodes, thanks to Doomed Lovers Month!
With these movies, you may bear witness to emotions rising, hearts breaking, feelings hurting, betrayals… betraying, but you can count on these episodes to tickle your funny bone by way of their romantic (or anti-romantic) vibes.
This February, you might feel inclined to write a sonnet (or maybe some words of praise) for these episodes as they showcase movies in which:
a brawny demigod falls victim to the Waters of Forgetfulness™ and loses memories of his one true love while being seduced by a sinister queen (and her backup dancers)
a jazz pianist lets his old flame plummet to her death from a lighthouse instead of allowing her to ruin his upcoming wedding to another lover, only to find that he doesn’t have a ghost of a chance of surviving her spectral wrath
a big stupid drifter and a runaway buddy make their way to a small town and get jobs in a diner, which would be great, except that the drifter’s developing relationship with a charming waitress is destroyed by a creep who has his eye on her
a traveler en route to California finds himself beguiled by a woman on a walnut farm, but there might be more than meets the eye about her (as well as that elderly lady at the farmhouse who seems to be a bit murder-death-kill happy)
a widower takes his newly wedded second wife to the country estate he inherited, only for the anxious missus to find herself ill at ease about the creepy gardener and the occasional screaming skull that she happens to encounter here and there
an unscrupulous ne’er-do-well convinces a young woman to leave rural California behind and come with him to Los Angeles so she can become a dancer, crossing paths with an unfortunately named musician and some drug-dealing types
It’s been said that love conquers all, but only ONE episode can conquer the competition by way of YOUR votes. Which heartbreaking happening holds high hopes? Which forlorn fan favorite finishes first? Whose cuisine will reign supreme?!
Favorite of the Gizmoplex Vault Picks: Round 12 - February 2023 (“Doomed Lovers” Month)
I think these are all a delight, not a dud in the bunch and they’ll make for good, doomed, viewing in Feb. But which one to watch on Valentine’s Day?
Gold Boots, Lovers’ Lane and Satan are all in my Top 25, with Satan ranked slightly ahead of those, and that will be where my vote lives. (Edit Ha - EBK beat me to that joke)
Much obliged, @JakeGittes, thank you very, very much! I always have a fun time writing this jazz and setting these polls up, and it’s my hope to put a sense of that fun out there for y’all like that - cheers!
Touch Of Satan would get my vote as of today, but it has been a while since I’ve seen Lover’s Lane, and I haven’t seen Gold Boots in ages. So, maybe that will change after I am reminded of them.
Since the Sci-Fi channel episodes will dominate the vote from the people who only watch those episodes, I had to throw my vote to The Girl in Lover’s Lane. There’s a sweetness about the movie that I like, despite the unhappy ending. There’s a riff at one point that the movie is like an episode of Route 66, and it really is.
I have to go with Herc mainly because, while the riffing is fun, it has some really top notch sketches. GPC as the Hellenistic Ideal is an all time favourite of mine, as is Joel trying to avoid talking to Tom and Crow about sex.
I love me some Touch of Satan. I was shocked to discover that it’s not universally beloved because of the dark tone and downer ending, and I don’t usually like the darker movies with downer-endings, but for me the riffing- which is absolute fire- completely negates it.
Oof. This is a tough one. I picked The Screaming Skull only because, out of all the movies listed, it’s the only one I wouldn’t mind seeing unriffed.
Tormented could be remade into a good film though. Just make it so that it’s never clear whether or not it’s all in Tom’s head.
Funny, punny.
