Fishin' With Discourse

After watching Fishin’ With Rifftrax, I am inspired to ask if anyone has a good fish story to tell.

I really don’t. We weren’t a fishing clan. However, I do remember going to Shark River Park in the spring and summer with school or camp, and occasionally pulling a sunfish* from the muddy lake. I think I caught two or three between the ages of 8 and 15, which is at least as good as the number of times I succeeded in hitting a softball. :grin: You?

Bonus RT spoiler: Fellas’ HOW could you go out on the lake without life jackets? You made both me AND Safety Woman cry!!! TSK!

*Years and several timezones later, the cartoonist Jack Ohman said that sunfish are so dumb that “a TV news anchor could catch one just by thinking about it.” Thanks, Jack. You were great for my self-esteem. lol

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This one time I took the whiz out of Bentley for gentrifying a sport that needs anything but.

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Canned Snow Leopard is a waste of good money. Salmon works much better for croquettes.

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When dad was stationed at Elgin, we fished. One day, we were outrageously lucky. 3 schools of sea trout came by. Afterward we swung by his “office” (photo lab) to show off, and some of the guys came out with the cameras taking pictures. This was published in the base paper.


You may be asking ‘how did you eat all of those?’, and the answer is ‘with help’. After spending more than an hour scalin’, cuttin’, and guttin’, they were wrapped and frozen, and saved for a ‘Squadon Fish Fry’ a few weeks later.

You can’t do that any longer. Back then, there were basically no limits on saltwater fishing. The limit now is 4 or 5 ‘specks’ per person per day.

Another time, from the nearby fishing pier, I hooked a mackerel. The first fish I ever caught that I could hold by the tail and have it reach the ground. That one fish fed the family a day later. Good thing, because it was all we caught that day.

It wasn’t the only time I caught dinner for the family, but it was the only time 1 fish did the job.

Needless to say, Florida ruined fishing for me. I still do it on occasion, but, golly, I’ve never again enjoyed it as much as I did in those days.


Best I’ve got is a bachelor party trip for my wife’s cousin where we went fishing. I think I caught 6 Sheepshead? Not sure, it was a long time ago. I blew everybody else away, catch-wise, and was briefly known as “the fish slayer.” The groom was the only one who didn’t catch anything. I think he’s still annoyed and that was 13 or 14 years ago. Which is fine, since we can’t aggravate him about it if he gets over it.

I’m honestly not that great at fishing. If somebody doesn’t tell me what bait and hook, etc to use, I’m clueless.


If you catch a sheepshead, you usually know it. They have amazing smiles.

They are really hard on hooks - they have fairly strong bite strength.


A couple of Lake Erie steelhead from a few years ago. The bright ones are fresh from the lake and jump a lot.

A few of the local brown trout:

Lake Ontario brown trout caught in a trib following the salmon run.

This is me on a Catskills fishing trip drinking a Coke and trying to dry out some firewood while a horse offers advice.

My friend Charlie cheerfully eating a banana in a flooded boat launch parking lot deluge.


My dad liked to hunt and fish, even though he was a city boy. The one time he took me fishing he got mad at me because I’d rather watch the line of umbrella ants traipsing by than try to catch a fish. I still would, btw.

He also got mad at me because I cried when he tried to get me to eat venison. You can thank Disney for that one, dad.

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Oh yeah, they had them freaky teeth. They chomped on our little crabby baits.

Well, they chomped my bait, anyhow.