…because I’m in pain. Feel free to ignore this post guys; I really just needed to vent for a moment about my stupid back that has resulted in a very tender, sore spot on my side following my chiropractor adjusting me.
If you care about the backstory… when I was 23, I contrived to severely misalign approximately 9 of my vertebrae, according to the chiropractor who realigned my spine. This is while I was deployed on active duty, mind you, so as a result of that injury, I developed degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine and have been dealing with that ever since.
Recently though, I somehow managed to do it again, only worse in some way I can’t explain. I don’t know what I did (when it happened originally I was lifting a lot of bags which were overloaded with various soldier’s belongings in an effort to help get them all x-rayed quickly), but my chiropractor basically said that my thoracic spine and ribcage were out of whack in one direction, while my lumbar spine was out of whack in the OTHER direction. I’m back in alignment now, but because I put off treatment, I appear to have either a deep tissue bruise along my side or have bruised the actual nerve endings because of how long my spine was misaligned.
So now I’m in pain (albeit better than yesterday) and feeling sorry for myself, so I thought I’d vent here for a moment. I just wish it would go away…
I have atypical trigeminal neuralgia. Normal trigeminal neuralgia mostly happens in women over 70. I’m a man in my 40s and this started when I was in my late 30s. It also didn’t respond to a lot of the standard treatments, thus the atypical part.
It’s a nerve disorder in your face and the pain can be so intense and awful that people have been known to kill themselves to escape it, so it’s colloquially known as The Suicide Disease. It manifests differently in different people, but in my case, there’s a base level of constant pain in the left side of my face and (very rarely now that I am on the right medication) flare-ups where the pain level goes to 10 on the standard 1-10 pain scale and I have been known to literally scream for a lengthy amount of time.
But like I said, I’m on the right medication now. It took about five years, during which time I was disabled enough to receive a disability payout from the state, but the pain is now mostly manageable to the point that I can hold down a normal job and no one there even knows I have this condition. Admittedly, I’ve gotten good at hiding the pain, but it’s never the intense screaming flare-ups anymore.
So there is a bright side, you can come out of it. Even if it gets so bad you want to die. And I’ve definitely been there.
Back pain is widely stated to be the worst (although @FlyingSquid might disagree!). I definitely feel for you! I’ve had acute appendicitis, and I just discovered I am only barely responsive to dental nerve blocks… just in time for major dental work. The nice thing is, those pains go away eventually. It sounds like yours isn’t planning to.
I am so sorry! I hope you can get some rest and peace. Thank you for reaching out. We are here for you!
When I was recovering from hernia surgery about 6 years ago, I set myself up a marathon of episodes, including my first viewing of a very special Joe Don Baker film called Mitchell. Deep Hurting helped take my mind off of the deep hurting.
I don’t like how drugs make me feel, generally speaking. Which can be a good thing, since I don’t have an addictive personality type (I used to smoke, but quit cold turkey with zero side effects, for example), but which doesn’t bode well for when I do require drugs of some type. I had some leftover narcotics that I’ve been taking to help with the pain from this, and I cannot WAIT to get off of them entirely; I hate how they make me feel.
I am a cannabis advocate-just thought I’d mention it just in case you had no experience with it. I’m very aware that cannabis isn’t for everyone and also that it helps many with physical pain relief. I saw your post about your pain and thought I’d mention it (I’m also in Maryland and became a medical patient for my crippling anxiety a couple years ago after decades of self-medication/prohibition and itsa great feeling not being criminalized for my medicine)
I’m sending my positive energy to you to find relief from your pain.
Truthfully I’ve never actually tried marijuana, medical or otherwise. I work in a profession that discourages drug use and which can have an effect on my ability to maintain a security clearance, and as a former member of the Armed Forces I saw way too many lives ruined by either using or transporting or selling drugs (I was stationed in Fort Bliss, which is located right across the border from Juarez, Mexico; it wasn’t unusual to have soldiers pop hot on a urinalysis and have to be chaptered out or get caught transporting drugs over the border even with the limitations on travel to Juarez that were in place at the time, and I notably had to serve as an escort to a fellow officer who was being court martialed for selling ecstasy at one point). So it’s unlikely I’ll ever try it except in extremis, which I am not quite in as of yet. The pain is getting less and less with every day since my chiropractor realigned me, so my guess is the pain I’m in will be temporary.
I don’t have opinions about other people using though, so long as it doesn’t hurt other people, and I’m aware of the medical benefits for many cancer sufferers or people with glaucoma from using medical marijuana and am glad for that (my mother, stepfather, and grandfather all died from cancer, and while their doctors never prescribed marijuana for pain relief, I’m glad that option is available for people now). I also support decriminalizing many drugs, particularly marijuana. Not necessarily for my use, personally, but as I said, I want the option to be available for people with chronic severe pain.
So update to this; while the acute pain has more or less stopped, there appears to be no lessening of the tenderness and sensitivity on my side. I have also developed what looks like a rash, but which is not itchy; it’s actually painful to the touch. I’ve done some research and I think it might be neurological, but I’m having x-rays done just to rule out any problems with the bones.
I’m sorry to hear you are in pain. Pain, especially persistent pain is so difficult. It not only harms you physically but over time can wear away at you mentally. I’ll be praying for relief, and that you find the right medication, doctor, etc to get this fixed.
I’m currently isolating from my family after having Covid symptoms since Tuesday morning. My pain isn’t as much physical as it is emotional. Having to stay clear of my 4 year old and 2 year old, and 8 month pregnant wife is terrible. I’m having to remind myself it’s the most loving thing to do, and that it won’t be long. In this brief period I can grow in appreciation and love for them. I’m already planning alone time with each one of them after I’m cleared.
(I’m also in Maryland and became a medical patient for my crippling anxiety a couple years ago after decades of self-medication/prohibition and itsa great feeling not being criminalized for my medicine)