For those who RiffTrax, you already know. For those who don’t, this is probably my favorite recurring riff outside of MST3K.
I’ve been keeping a list for years, but I don’t own everything of theirs (whether or not my wife believes that is up for debate). There are a few new releases I haven’t watched yet, and there is also at least one I can’t decipher so I’m hoping someone can help with GCNS #2 from Son of Sinbad. [EDIT: Fixed! Thanks for @YettiChild for confirming this one.]
Without further ado:
A Talking Cat!?! - You deserve toe-free appetizers.
Alien Outlaw - Don’t kill anything you won’t eat.
Battle for the Lost Planet - You know what? You guys are never making it alive anyhow.
Beast of the Yellow Night - Eat, my boy.
Beast of the Yellow Night - Eat. (Golden Corral’s even newer slogan)
The Color of Health - You must have calories to stay alive.
Dangerous Men - As long as I get paid, it makes no difference to me whether it’s a man or a woman.
Dark Future - What is this place? Just shut up.
Fatal Combat - Always to the death … we guarantee it.
Fever Lake - What I’m about to do isn’t legal, and I don’t want any witnesses.
Fever Lake - And I’m telling you: it’s going to blow. (Golden Corral’s newer slogan.)
Fugitive Rage - Then you must have a very big ass.
Giant From the Unknown - This is bad place for you to be. Only evil can come to you here.
I Believe in Santa Claus - I can’t wait a few more hours. I’m hungry!
The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant - I’m hungry, imbecile.
Jack Frost - [projectile barfing]
Last Woman On Earth - We can’t stay here. In a couple of days the stench alone would choke us.
Live: Carnival of Souls - It was unsanitary, but delicious.
Live: Miami Connection - Give me some of that s__t.
McGruff’s Drug Alert - But some things can make you very sick, hurt your body, or sometimes even kill you.
Oblivion - There are some who find beauty in the most bleak surroundings.
Oblivion 2 - It was worth a try. (Golden Corral’s old slogan.)
Prisoners of the Lost Universe - Eat, d__n you.
R.O.T.O.R - Do you want to go to the iHop? Huh?
Radical Jack - To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
Rats: Night of Terror - Hey, food!
Retro Puppet Master - Come on…a few coins. Ease your conscience. I can use the money, and I’m sure it will make you feel so much better.
The Retrievers - <snort><snort> Here’s your swill, pig.
The Return - Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Go on. Don’t you know food when you see it?
San Franpsycho - I want to kill you.
Son of Sinbad - Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Son of Sinbad - If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Star Games - Don’t swallow, just chew.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens - The garbage will do.
Subspecies: The Awakening - Have you … tasted blood?
Suburban Sasquatch - I can’t tell what it is from here but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
The Sword and The Sorcerer - Bring us a bucket.
The Sword and The Sorcerer - Hungry indeed, but not for food.
To Catch A Yeti - Please don’t die, it’s really good for you. Please…eat it.
Uninvited - Here, pu__y … have some food.
Velvet Smooth - I never expect anything.
Yor: The Hunter from the Future - Why did you come to this land of death?
You’re The Judge - I can’t even gloat. It all looks so awful.
Zindy the Swamp Boy - Don’t be afraid. What do you want?