Heavenly Bodies starring the guy that was the Pumaman!

I kinda want to see this it sounds awful and stars Walter George Alton…the Pumaman.

Heavenly Bodies
A small “Dance-ercize” studio fights for its existence against the unscrupulous owner of a rival club. The conflict boils down to a “Dance Marathon” to settle the score.

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Legwarmer overload in 3…2…1…

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Is there Dancer-size Kung Fu?

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No. But there is a “dance-off” marathon at the end between the two rival gyms where the two groups exercise like they’ve never exercized before. The goal being to see who’s the last one standing, with the winning side getting the privilege of keeping their respective gym open. Yes, it’s as dumb as it sounds.

It’s basically your typical overcoming the odds 80s story with an 80s soundtrack, but with adults, so it gets an R rating. It does have some nice choreography and a couple of very pretty dance scenes, though.

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Intriguing, although it sounds like it would still be better with Kung Fu.

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Not Taebo?

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I feel like there’s a deficit of Tae Bo movies in the world (none, as far as I know). Maybe a Tae Bo/Gymkata crossover? I’m thinking mullets, motorcycles, wet pavement at night … maybe some robo vampires for good measure.

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Weird that they never let Larry Dane direct again.

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“the guy that was the Pumaman”

Did you know he works as a medical malpractice attorney now?
https://www.altonlawfirm.com/
(Actually, he was a lawyer before becoming an actor.)

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These kinds of showdown movies are such an American thing (witness the Bring It On franchise). I suspect they harken back to the Westerns, though the big group showdowns in those owe a lot to Seven Samurai as well.

It does sound like a good riffing candidate, assuming it’s not dead dull or full of gratuitous nudity.

Looks fantastic. Will just have to be satisfied with the trailer, this was only released on VHS in 1990, used copies are rare and go for $50 or so. C’mon pirates, where’s the upload?

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There’s one sex scene and one instance of toplessness. The latter could be easily covered up, it wouldn’t be the first time MST3K had done that. I’m not sure about the former though, since I think there’s is a plot related conversation happening during it. But it’s been a while, so I might be mistaken there.

But my guess is that the biggest issue would be rights related. As far as I know, the movie hasn’t been released on any format since the VHS days, so tracking down a decent copy might be a PITA. It does make the occasional appearance on TCM though, so a decent print must exist somewhere.

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Does everyone dance like a moron? Does Donald Pleasance make an appearance? Remember, his name is Pleasance and he is funky .

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