I Concur and Append Thusly…

Lights fade up, we hastily put down our beers. Time to Yes And our way to pure comedy cubic zirconia.

Rules are every post must agree to the proposal of the previous post then present a new proposal.

I’ll set up with an easy classic: I am sitting on a stool making vague gestures in the air that might be interpreted as pushing buttons.

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Upon further inspection, the vague, button-pushing-like gestures are resulting in popping sounds. As if your fingers were exploding the bubbles on a sheet of bubble wrap that has been affixed to a bulletin board in front of you.

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Ah, Paulie Meer, the competitive skeet Olympian who quit it all to obtain an advanced degree in Padding Geometry with a minor in Paperwork from the Lippert Institute and is now my case worker, your perception is correct. As you prescribed, popping bubble wrap is doing wonders at controlling my Urges. You know, the Urges you or anyone who joins us at anytime would know about? (Sips beer)

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The urges of popping bubble wrap using vague gestures while sitting on a stool at a bar are an obsession to see the tiny red specks that emanate on every popping of the bubble wrap that match the red neon sign in the room that spells “Cheers”.

Cheers, we’re still in this franchised Cheers-branded bar stuck on the “fun” deck of this ocean liner in the middle of god knows where. It’s been so many days since the event, has anyone news of the event?

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Gesturing, bashing pockets in midair, and staring at sparks mimicking the “Cheers” light in this Ted Danson themed saloon, the memories of pigs flying across the world’s skies are dimmed on this ocean liner stalled just north of Antarctica as Kathy Lee Gifford sings the Carnival Cruise theme on endless repeat. Swine is heard overhead. “If They Could See You Now Out On This Funship Cruise…” A blimp is seen in the sky.

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That’s it, the red sparks are like the gleam in Kathy Lee Gifford’s eyes. Like a cat’s eyes. We never should have crossed Kathy Lee Gifford’s genome with pigs and stuck wings to them. Now look at where we’re at. Damn you DARPA! Maybe the denizens of that blimp will have answers.

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The executives from Goodyear are supervising the scene. Christopher Walken is on board reliving his Bond days dancing Weapon of Choice and defying gravity inside the gaseous satellite flanked by barnyards of swine soaring clockwise around the boat like a vortex. DARPA hired Doc Emmett L. Brown once and shouts of “GREAT SCOTT!!” could be heard over Gifford’s singing.

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We thought that blimp might hold our saviors, but it only contains a mad Walken, an even madder Doc Brown, a swarm of accursed swine, and a giant forklift. What will save humanity now?

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Oh, the huge manatee! It’s coming down!

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A fleet of single engine airplanes can be spotted from the cruiseliner’s top deck. They are inbound but from where? Randy Quaid’s voice is emanating from speakers on the far off craft. “GUYS!!! I’M BACK!!!” blares against the Doc’s screams and Gifford’s crooning. A massive manatee crushes dozens of pigs as it thuds onto the ship’s bow splattering into passengers and creating a riot of frenzied guests running towards Kathy Lee. Letters are beginning to appear on the blimp. The forklift begins to move.

“Well that just happened,” announces the captain over the loudspeaker, “it appears the manatees are on our side despite every reason to not be.” The letters on the side of the blimp start to flash, “I-T-S-A-L-L-F-O-R-” Christopher Walken can be heard screaming, “Damn you Quaid, it’s not over yet! I have a forklift!” The seas start to bubble.

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More manatees appear from the sea. At first, it was assumed that they were there to join in, but then, they started waving little flags. It appears that they are cheering.

…but who are they cheering for?

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The waving of the little white flags gyrate and move up and down amidst the manatees as more and more lunge onto the ship’s walking deck as the swine dive bomb the deck spraying droppings on unsuspecting vacationers. The bubbling seas movement match the swirl of hog flying zagging back and forth around the liner. Doc Brown hops into the stage by Kathy Lee and steals her microphone starting to chime the Meow Mix theme. The Goodyear blimp spells “K-I-N-G-T-U-T-!-!-!” as cries of Walk Like An Egyptian are booming out of Christian Walken as some sort of a signal to suited Men In Black concentrating outside Cheers on the cruiser who are taking snapshots of the manatees pom pom flag action ignoring the legions of advancing masses stopping right where they are who begin dancing the Macarena. The forklift acts like Killdozer with no one inside and sweeps the manatees up and drops them back in the ocean. “The top side is FULL!!!” snaps Quaid on the incoming planes sound equipment and “I wouldn’t count on that Chris…” taunts via the tight plane formation as fog descends blanketing the vessel filling in the space of the tornado speeding faster to the beat of Meow Mix.

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Quaid sweeps in with his plane and joins hands with Brown, Kathy Lee, and Walken, taking them aboard. Then he says, “we must stop the manatees, their swine allies, that rogue forklift, and eradicate them once and for all. This topic isn’t what I hoped for so I say we eradicate the whole topic and thread. Only the nuclear option will do! 5-4-3-2-” A nuke deploys with Quaid riding on it waving his cowboy hat shouting, “Wooo Hooo Meow Meow Wooo Hooo!”
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And now we stare at white noise on a console tv set to the highest volume…