I'm not Regular anymore.

Gonna break out the Metamucil. Looks like those premiere threads killed my Regularity again. Stir stir stir. Gulp gulp gulp. You really gotta be on top of e’rthang in here or you get the ax. It’s dog-eat-dog 'round these parts. It’s go with the flow or being Regular is a no-go 'round these parts. Maybe they should called it the “Normal” status. It’s not enough to be regularly on. You gotta be normal and well-adjusted to the status quo. You gotta follow the local trends. You gotta conform to the ebbs and flows of the public’s capricious whims. You gotta wear the pants with the professionally torn knee holes and fashionable acid wash finish. You gotta go see Metallica, but leave after they play Enter Sandman. Your pants gotta have stirrupped hems. Your baseball cap gotta be backwards. The brim gotta be curved. The brim gotta be flat. You gotta buy the novelty headband with the party horn antennae and call it a father’s day gift. You gotta be like Mike. Keep up with the Joneses. Keep up appearances. Keep up to date. Sign up. Join up. Join in. Fit in. Go along. Get along. Get in there. Make the scene. Be seen. Touch the puppet head.

:upside_down_face:

7 Likes

prunes

5 Likes

I feel like an irregular badge is in order.

3 Likes

Regular? Maybe unleaded? Or Ethanol?

3 Likes

I need Premium dude, Premium!

4 Likes

I actually think there should be such a thing as an “Irregular” badge. The only way to earn it would to achieve Regular status, lose it, then regain it — and it could be earned multiple times like some other badges.

6 Likes

The Baker Street Irregulars?

image

6 Likes

Metallica has been closing with Sandman since 2016-ish. So, you’d be staying for the whole show.

1 Like

I can’t seem to retain Regular status anymore. Now I’m waiting for my status to change to Last Known Photo.

4 Likes

I saw them on the Monsters of Rock stadium tour in like '91 in Buffalo, with Van Halen headlining. I wasn’t much of a fan of anyone on the bill (Don Dokken was a petulant dbag after people screamed for VH, and the Scorpions were just sad old German guys in spandex doing synchronized dancing), but I was impressed with the thrashing sea of hair. I took the opportunity to use the disgusting bathrooms. I didn’t pay for the ticket.

I haven’t had a status since I lost my regularity. But I’m pretty sure I’ll never get it back. There’s just too much activity and I can’t keep up while I’m working.

3 Likes

At least you had it at some point… I never got to be regular… :sob:

1 Like

I think I was a Regular for a matter of hours, but I might have imagined it.

3 Likes

Everyone knows that the Irregular merchandise can be had at steep discounts. Despite its outward appearance being indistinguishable from the norm. All part of the conspiracy, I tell ya’. :eyes:

5 Likes

The premium badge: Read, respond to, and like every comment.

Yeah, that’s sorta what I was thinking. It’d be kinda funny.

You could show up late!

REGULARS! Mount up!

cowboy GIF

4 Likes

Raisin snails won’t be much help but maybe we can bake up a batch of prune snails.

Hrrrm. I never want to say the combination of those two words ever again.

2 Likes

Ditto, my mitto

2 Likes

Around here, that would be called the Manos badge.

1 Like

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f*cking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments…

6 Likes