Today I was putting gas in my car so I could go to the store and was shaken by an epiphany: none of this would be necessary if I had radar.
Later microwaved some leftovers. But you know what also microwaves things? Radar.
Poked around on my phone while I ate, but what’s a phone but a little radar?
Then went to the gym and ran on the elliptical for awhile but then I realized, what’s the point, I’ll never be able to outrun radar.
It might be hard to believe, but what have you found that radar can’t do?
It can’t help the Vikings win a Super Bowl.
(Radars also go Zing!)
It can’t explain I. Newton’s gravity laws,
It’s absolutely useless on linoleum floors…
It won’t stay fresh even if you keep it in the chiller.
Can’t keep a sitcom about the Korean war going for more than 11 years.
It can’t fix a broken heart
It can’t detect whether or not William Conrad is raiding your fridge.
Not that it can’t do it, but it won’t clean up after itself.
It can’t do anything radar can’t do.
Anything you can do Radar can do better
Radar can do anything better than you
I have heard that radar can do anything for love, but it can’t do that.
(Loosely related but Radar actually led to the invention of The Microwave…)
According to Tom Wolfe, it can’t go home again.
I hope I never see another spring as long as I live!
Move to Greenland, that should do it.
Radar can’t play tuba in a skiffle band, but good luck telling that to radar.
It can’t get no satisfaction.
Radar can’t stand losing you.
Radar can’t tell the difference betwixt Shinola and that other stuff.