Mmhm, you took a turn as a rampaging monster. It was a star performance in a breakout role. Tell me: you rampaged; why?
You got turned into a monster, how?
Mmhm, people who ran in terror from your newfound monsterness described you as a what?
Mmhm, your rampage lasted for quite some time. How long was it?
Mmhm, Whoopi Goldberg says you smell like apples, true?
Traded soup recipes.
I only wish we could have seen James Lipton interview Bob Ross.
ACTING!
The apple scent was coming from PretendRayLiotta all along. 
John Lithgow and the Master Thespian have very similar styles.
Ray hates the egg noodles and ketchup one, though. He wouldn’t let Kurt suffer through that crap and live like a schnook.
Mmhm, you bought a dozen bananas but only used one, why?
Or Andy Rooney, for that matter.
That would have ushered in a reality-destroying singularity, but entertainingly so.
I don’t even know how you’d capture Andy Rooney’s delivery in text form.
This is one of my favorite skits. It’s so dumb and I like it so much.
I think it would have to involve specialty fonts.
SPECIALTY FONTS!
He has his own font.
ROONEY!
That’s so good!
I watched the interminable Uwe Boll crime In the Name of the King, A Dungeon Siege Tale starring Burt Reynolds, Jason Statham, and Ray Liotta when it came to DVD and I swear on all the graves in the graveyard that there is a part where one of the orc extras in a scene with Ray Liotta straight up calls him a douchebag under his breath.
It’s so ridiculous that it made it through to the final cut.
