A lot of posters in this thread, myself included, proposed ways to prevent the events of movies from happening in the first place. But as OP clarified, the premise of that thread was to get to the end of the movie faster, not negate it entirely.
So here’s a pickup thread. How would you kill a movie premise before it even starts?
Miracle on 34th Street:
After Kris whacks Sawyer on the head with his umbrella, Sawyer files assault charges. Doris Walker, Mr. Shellhammer and the infirmary nurse testify as to the bump on Sawyer’s head, and Walker and Shellhammer testify that they saw Kris leaving Sawyer’s office with the umbrella. Alfred testifies that Kris said he was going to confront Sawyer. Kris, who “always tells the absolute truth” admits to it all anyway. He loses his job and gets three years’ probation.
“Mom is dead. I should bury her and get on with my life. After all, I have a motel to run.”
“Yoda, with all due respect, separating the twins is absurd. They’ll be stronger and safer if I raise them together and teach them the ways of The Force together.”
(Someone did this up as fanfic and I remember it being pretty good.)
“Mr. Kenobi? I think this droid has a message for you. Well…bye. I have moisture to farm.”
“I think I’ll go to college on a football scholarship rather than join the mobile infantry. Getting the right to vote through citizenship doesn’t seem like a big deal. There’s only ever one candidate anyway.”
Scrooge realises the huge mistake he is making in not marrying the love of his life. Tells Marley he’s off to raise bees in the countryside.
In a fortuitous twist, the bees pollinate a rare grove of flowers, making Scrooge’s honey highly sought after and he ends up making millions.
INT. Executive office overlooking a shipyard in San Francisco. Beautiful voluptuous blonde JUDY is speaking to an older well dressed gentleman behind a large oak desk.
JUDY
So, let me get this straight. You want me to impersonate your wife
so that an old college friend of yours, who gets dizzy standing on
step-stools, will follow me around so that I can get him to take me
to Mission San Juan Bautista, where you will be at the top of the bell tower
with your real wife, so that you can throw her off after I get to the
top so that it looks like she commited suicide, and you'll have a witness
for the inquest?
MAN
Yes.
JUDY
And you're absolutely sure his dizzyness will prevent him from
coming up to the top of the tower and seeing what's going on?
MAN
Pretty sure.
JUDY
Just PRETTY SURE? Wouldn't it be easier to simply leave me and him
out of it and just leave a fake suicide note when you push her off?
MAN
(pauses) Brilliant! Never mind.Better yet, just kill Yoda as an infant - everything that happened in all those movies is a result of him rejecting an 8-year-old boy for being afraid.
Latham brothers? Meet cold hard steel.
Going back a bit further - Friar Lawrence could decide not to use a couple of lovesick teenagers as pawns in his little political game.
“Nope, sorry. We’re not going to let Lina dictate how we adapt to this new style of movie. If she can’t talk, then, we don’t want her. Oh, have I told you about your new costar?”
“Wait. You’re telling me that you want to make a TV show where we create a world for a baby to grow up in that is essentially imprisoning him for his entire life and allowing people to watch him live a lie? You’re insane! Get out of my office and never come back.”
Marlee Matlin, your deafnessectomy surgery was a success!
“On second thought, I don’t think that going to an isolated hotel with my family is really going to help me become a successful writer. Wait, and the previous caretaker went nuts? Yeah, no. I’ll figure something else out.”
“I really shouldn’t have blown up at the Council like that. If I have a calming cup of tea, do up a better presentation , and go back tomorrow I know they’ll finally listen to me and understand the necessity of evacuating Krypton before it’s too late.”
If I’ve typed and deleted it four times because it might be too dark, it’s probably too dark, isn’t it?
We’ve found miniscule fragments of DNA preserved in amber, but there’s nowhere near enough to sequence even a small part of a full dinosaur. Let’s just build a beach resort instead.
maybe we need a new caveat that says “you can’t just kill everybody.”
Umm… not sure if anyone has said it yet, but birth control would be a great way to keep a plotline from occurring.