Since we now have threads for favorite villain and both the most and least effective protagonist, let’s complete the set with one for the least threatening or effective villain.
Comfortably placed in this crowded field is the dark master of the Canadian Magical Arts whose legion of incompetent henchmen rival those in any space opera - Satoris.
Least effective villain, but yet the character I’d most like to see done as a plushie: the Terror that Creeps.
How about Donald Pleasance from Warrior Of The Lost World? He spends the whole movie in one room and his only influence on the plot is to half-heartedly torture Persis for a few scenes.
Even with a legion of the undead at his command, I never felt menaced or threatened by Troxartes from Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell at all.
Especially with his weird line delivery.
Bonus points to Voldar from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for surrounding himself with barely functional goons and getting taken down by a bunch of kids throwing toys.
This guy
He sees himself as this master strategist, warrior and philosopher, but he’s out gunned at every turn - the old guy out philosophizes him, out smarts him, manipulates him, plays him like a fiddle…
Plus he’s got these pencil thin arms. Seriously, he looks like he can barley pick up a sword, let alone be a serious physical threat to Ator. You’re going to tell me that guy, with his goofy helmet, and weenie arms, is going to defeat this…
As Servo says, “I don’t think so”
YES
When he was in Pumaman, it was easy to buy him as a credible threat with everything that he did to bring powerful people under his hypnotic command. He came THIS close to taking out the hero a little over halfway into the film!
With Warrior of the Lost World, I mean… what happened?
It’s not my place to nitpick, but that thing didn’t conquer the world.
It didn’t even conquer Peter Graves.
Possibly the only monster less ambulatory, and less threatening, than Sigmund the Sea Monster.
Ro-Man the Ro-Man. Who destroyed most of the life on Earth yet lived in a cave. And not even a very good cave.
And yet one of my favorite villains. Man that ape sure can emote!
Yeah, but I’d say destroying almost all human life is pretty effective as far as villainy goes.
It Conquered The World was my first thought, as well. It… sort of had control over a small town for a couple of days? Mostly because it had help.
But, then again… Rat Fink from Wild World Of Batwoman. Guy creates a gang, goes on a years-long attempted crime spree (apparently being frequently thwarted by a housewife who manages a network of ineffective field agents), steals his own invention from his own vault, deliberately involves the one woman who has always stopped him before, and gets thwarted again and finally captured… All for the sole reason that overhearing other people’s phone conversations is his kink.
To be fair, he did have bubbles on his side.
The one in Monster A-Go-Go… because it never existed. Ha ha. Joke’s on you for sitting through that slog!
But then, that’d make the movie makers the MOST effective villains… hrm…
Teri and I were discussing this elsewhere, but:
Paula’s parents in The Violent Years. She’s out working to make society better, he’s diligently reporting the news. They give her everything she wants. Mom writes her daughter blank checks and trusts her implicitly. When she drops in on Dad in the middle of a busy work day, he drops everything to give her his full attention.
And yet they’re somehow supposed to be responsible for her turning to a life of crime? What terribly ineffective villains they are.
Certainly not as effective as the smüt picture racket, as seen in The Sinister Urge. As the detective points out, every known crime can be traced back to them.
(Excuse the umlauts, the filter won’t let another somewhat-innocuous word through.)
Commander Dobler from Lords of the Deep. The man so incompetent he can’t manage the one murder he’s supposed to commit despite having every possible advantage in his situation.
Granted, he murders several people as collateral, but not the one person he originally targeted.
Despite having obviously put allot of effort into his creepy, hand drawn vision-board I don’t think it’s possible to argue that Dr Z was terribly successful.
