Least plausible protagonist?

Continuing the discussion from Favorite protagonist from an MST3K film?:

And the flipside of the above, which MST3K film protagonist would you not trust to withstand even the most trivial of threats?

For me, it’s a toss-up between whiny clone Richard from Parts: The Clonus Horror

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and the serially ineffective Dr. Ted Nelson from The Incredible Melting Man.

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Big Stupid comes to mind.

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A '60s leading, um … man? … with a guitar who can’t even wedge his girlfriend’s name into one of his songs? Yeah, this guy.

Did I mention there’s water in his tires?

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Really? Nobody with this one yet? OK, leave it to me then… Zap and Troy.

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I never really bought Nick Miller’s transformation from tech-savvy geek genius to horseback-riding, bullet-dodging, plane-jumping man of action.

The most believable thing he did in that movie was crash a car.

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This isn’t a thread about the most plausible protagonists. Try again.

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Terrible protagonist. The film seriously spends precious time and character development on him griping at his wife about crackers during a crisis, of all things.

Absolutely comedic platinum as a subject of riffing, though. The writers came through there in a massive way.

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Either of the unmasked fellows here.

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I’ll go with the mush-mouthed MAGS KELLUH in your post as the loser “hero”. While rather pathetic here, Lee Van Cleef is a demonstrable badass in many movies. The same cannot be said for Timothy Van Patten.

And did the series casting agent get some kind of deal, buy one Van and get a second free?

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Prof. Tony Farms from Pumaman.

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As the SOL crew noted, the real hero of the movie was Vadinho.

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I don’t know about least plausible, but for least effective I would go with the protagonist of Rocket Attack USA.

You had one job…

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Lee Van Cleef clearly didn’t do any of his own stunts in The Master. I don’t know if he was just too old by then or what, but it’s so damn obvious.

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He had been in a near fatal car crash and by this time had a pacemaker.

I mean, some actors will use ANYTHING as an excuse.

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He was quite good as the badass in “Class of 1984”. Michael J Fox was especially believable as the class weenie, too.

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Maybe he shouldn’t have been cast as a ninja then. They couldn’t get Eli Wallach?

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Pssh. On a weekly basis? (Remember, it was a TV show.) Who’s got THAT kind of money?

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Hmm, maybe you see a tough guy in that picture, but I see the guy the rest the gang uses as a gofer. “Hey pretty boy, get me a Twix and a Fanta. And gimme your bronzer.”

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You beat me to it!

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Yeah, it doesn’t really come through in the photo.

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I must disagree. Of all the chump protagonists to be featured in the movies screened on MST3K, Tony Farms is probably the least deserving of the scorn he receives from the fan base.

First we should consider his initial predicament. It starts with a total stranger pushing him out of a third floor window. Later, said stranger approaches him, telling him to put on a magic belt because his surviving the fall proves that he’s descended from a Meso-American puma god from outer space. Think carefully. Would you have reacted any differently than Tony? If you intend to reply in the affirmative, remember that the saints cry whenever such filthy, bald-faced lies cross your lips. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Watching it again some time ago, Tony is nowhere near being the useless bumbler who needs Valdinho to handhold him throughout of popular imagination. This likely came about from fans mostly recalling the scenes just after he gets depowered and is at his most whiny.

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