Maybe that fat barkeep is the problem. If only we could find someone to kill him 
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Give him a Rat Pack chess set.
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Maybe he’d prefer a cake with an adorable dancer emerging from it instead…?
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Perhaps sweeten the deal with an autographed picture of Larry Csonka.
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And a promise of some lemon mine investments!
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We could invite him to visit the walnut ranch…
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Let’s show him lots of old safety shorts until he’s too traumatised to step outside.
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And be sure to tell him that when he orders the fentoozler he gets to keep the glass!
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And, in fact, if he signs on a new car, he can go ahead and keep the pen while he’s at it.
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Distract him by reenacting his very favorite Mentos™ ad, complete with the jingle.
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Free tickets to Dorkin Circus!
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Offer him a shoestring and a picture of Eve Arden.
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What can make Lembach stay? IT’S A NEW CAAAAAAAAAAR! 
oh crap, he’s driving back home
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It took me a moment to realize you meant “short films” and not, you know. Short shorts. Do safety shorts have a steel… uh… a steel… never mind.
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a steel belted radial? Yes. The safety short pant is OSHA approved.
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Manly beach dancing?
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Not even a man with the legendary strength of Lembach can resist the eye appeal – the wow! appeal – of our attractively arranged display of assorted taste-tempting, wholesome specialty breads.
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Summon the Parade of Kennys!
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Fine, fine, sheesh! I’m back… so what’d you all want? You’ve got 2 minutes to pitch whatever it was, then I’m off again.
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