Let's Make an Episode!

I’m watching A*P*E now. There are some things I’m uncomfortable with: some brief orientalism from the American characters, and the fictional rape scene. Editing would be needed.

That said, there is some good stuff here. At 35:25, I swear I hear Torgo’s theme!

On the issue of the ape changing size, he picked up and threw a snake near the beginning. The snake was normal scale for a human. Hilarious!

I’m about halfway through the film now. Back to watching.

Edit: The ape smashing a helicopter and dramatically giving it the finger at 53:23 is stunning! :laughing:

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A stable of solid B-movie actors and scream-queen actresses, written in 10 days, filmed in 13, and released on Halloween, 1986.

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That looks so incredibly terrible it just begs to be riffed. You could spend the entire time doing call backs to previous riffs.

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The markup is strong with this one.

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I honestly don’t much care for musicals, but I could probably handle this idea.

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I’m not surprised it has some problems. It’s a cheap knock-off movie from a time when lots of awful stuff was still tolerated. Editing is going to be our friends for lots of old movies like this. Or you riff on it, depending on the degree of ick-factor.

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Wouldn’t be the first time a rape scene had to be edited out. I think it was Girl with the Golden Boots that had to add a comment by the hosts to cover an edited out scene

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and Sidehackers (I think), Laserblast, …

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I think they said they had to edit a bit out of Zombie Nightmare as well
So there is president for a film choice to need less savoury elements editing

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Fortunately, removing the exploitative sections of a movie usually leaves the rest of it intact. Assuming there is anything left to work with. It gets unfortunate when they toss in an offensive element into an important scene.

I’m a big proponent of freedom of speech, so I’d rather leave those scenes in, handling them with social commentary instead of censorship. (Example from Cry Wilderness: Dumb kid: “You’re just a dumb Indian!” All: “Woooah!”) I’ve resigned myself to censoring the :cyclone::boom::cloud_with_lightning::skull::x::ringer_planet: out of the source material to get a G-rating, just to keep everyone happy. Funny how this changes over time.

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I’d like to suggest:

Ice Sharks
Terror Birds
Sharktopus
Boar

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I started watching The Pirate Movie. My head exploded twice while I was only very shortly into it, so I had to turn it off for a day or two.
:exploding_head::exploding_head: :face_with_head_bandage:

I will get back to it soon, hopefully.

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Err… get well soon? :face_with_head_bandage:

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Thanks! I thought I was well enough to continue watching the movie, but then…
unexplained horses at around 23:13. :grimacing:

and again at 24:33!
:face_with_head_bandage:

Update: And, at 49:13, we find out our hero doesn’t know how to ride a horse, which makes the unexplained horses from earlier even more unexplainable! :exploding_head:

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I did finish watching The Pirate Movie. It’s really bad. :laughing:

The “Pumping and Blowing” song was quite awkward. The horses drove me nuts, as already established. The end didn’t make much sense, of course. On a positive note, I’d say the choreography throughout (both dancing and fighting) wasn’t bad for a budget flick.

Things that weigh heavily toward rejecting for riffing include the lengthy songs and the fact that it is trying to be a spoof, actively parodying things like Star Wars and Indiana Jones. The filmmakers weren’t actually trying to make a serious movie.

Still, I’m sort of glad I watched it because I now have a movie I can torture someone with if I ever need it. :face_with_monocle:

Perhaps I will watch The Tomb next. This is fun!

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I’d like to add my only two suggestions, what I consider to be the two worst movies ever made:

Howard the Duck:

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie:

And with that, I’m going to close submissions for this round. A poll will appear in my next post.

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Which terrible movie should we try to riff for our Fanficisode™©­**?!

Poll Rules - Please only vote for a movie that you did NOT suggest. It’s the only way that we’ll be able to prevent everyone from just voting for “their” movie. And, since there’s no way to prove who voted for what, it’s the honor system.
This poll will run for 48 hours. After that, if there’s no clear winner, then the bottom vote getter(s) will be dropped off the list, and the poll will be re-run over and over every 48 hours, until we have a “winner”.

** The terms “Fanficisode” is ™ and © 2021 by @Ansible :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Here’s my opinion on these, just watching the trailers, and not being familiar with any of them except the ones I suggested:

The Peanut Butter Solution, The Ice Pirates - meh.
Solarbabies - OMG, how have I never seen this before? 80s “hyper serious” cheese at its best!
The Incredible Petrified World - this looks like classic MST3K fodder, I’m surprised they haven’t done this one yet!
A*P*E - this looks like classic MST3K fodder, I’m surprised they haven’t done this one yet!
The Pirate Movie - wat is this i cant even
The Tomb - Might be just a LITTLE bit too “Troma” for MST3K
Ice Sharks, Sharktopus, (or Piranha 3D, or Sharknado, or anything by Roger Corman or SyFy or The Asylum) - are ALL a hard pass for me. There’s just something about them that feels too… “bad on purpose” for them to be fun for me to riff. To much staring at the camera and winking, if you catch my drift.
Terror Birds - on the other hand, while this one “feels” as low quality/bad as an Asylum, film, it also FEELS like they were really TRYING to make a good movie on a low budget - they were just really sucky at it. This one would be my favorite for Round 2 Fanficisode™©!
Boar - Call me crazy, but while obviously low budget, this one seems to me to be just on the other side of the competent/incompetent line to me from Terror Birds. It actually looks like an entertaining movie to me, and one that I’d watch un-ironically!

In the end, my vote has to go to Solarbabies… for the pure 80s “WTF” factor.

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Can we leave the first round open for longer than 48 hours? I haven’t watched several of these before.

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If everyone else wants it longer, sure… but in my opinion, we should go with snap judgements. I formed my opinions based on the trailers alone, being completely unfamiliar with any of those movies.

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