First up, Hermenaut covers!
You can also do multiple riffs and/or riffs on many covers in one comment!
First up, Hermenaut covers!
My riff:
Crow: I wanna see what my America looks like!
Tom: “I wanna be a hermenaut when I grow up! I’ll plant a flag on Herman’s belly and spend my days exploring his craters and crevassses!”
My riffs:
Servo: Do teenagers even like philosophy?
Joel: Heady philosophers are always the Hermenaut of the Month!
Joel: What’s a “Nyak Fiasco” again?
Servo: I don’t know, you had it last!
JTC: What is the fascination with Cops & Robbers!
Servo: Whose America?
Crow: Hey, I sent my memoirs to St. Martin’s Press a year ago. They tore it apart!
Joel, Servo: CROW!
Servo: Rodentt? Didn’t their debut album sell only 5 copies?
“Oh, you know, Cynicalman would be so handsome if he just smiled once in a while.”
“And stopped slouching!”
First Cover:
“Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a weird-ass daughter…”
Or perhaps (in hushed tones),
“This was Caroll Spinney’s last interview, y’know.”
Second Cover:
“Beverly Hills 9021 NO!!”
Or maybe:
“That shirt doubles as a sieve when your kale needs rinsing!”
My riffs:
Servo: Still wondering if teens like heady philosophy or not.
Joel: Walt Whitman? Didn’t he write Leaves of Grass?
Crow: Woodstock never happened? Hey, Woodstock 2019 didn’t happen!
Joel, Servo: CROW!
Servo: Oh cripes, I remember that day…
Crow: Rosey Grier! He’s on the cover, hey, he’s on the cover, hey!
Joel: I wonder if The Master from Manos learned how to become a cult guru.
Gypsy: (drops down) How do I become a Kindness Freak? I haven’t got a membership card.
Tom: AND his wife was Governor of New Jersey!!
Additional riffs:
Wanna’ see my face on the cover… Wanna’ buy five copies for my mother…
Probably offensive on many levels. Click at your own risk: [ahem]
“Ah, good ol’ RFK. NOBODY gets away with needling HIS son!”
My riffs:
Servo: So teens don’t like heady philosophy, apparently.
Crow: Nobody doesn’t like Bruce Lee!
Jonah: How to Stuff a Masterpiece?
Crow: Paths of Glory vs. Beach Blanket Bingo?
Servo: By Chris Fujiwara?
All: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Servo: (singing) Turn the C in CULTURE around, and you’ve got… VULTURE!
Servo & Crow: (singing) Pop, pop, culture? No, pop, pop, vulture! Pop, pop, culture? No, pop, pop, vulture!
All: (singing) Pop culture? Pop vulture! Pop culture? Pop vulture! Pop culture? Pop vulture!
Crow: (singing) Pop vulture, baby!
Gypsy: (drops down with M. Waverly in a vulture costume) A cartoon by Dame Darcy.
M. Waverly: (wearing a vulture costume) I’m Pop Vulture, baby!
Jonah: Oh, since when did Marlo Thomas change the name?
Crow: (as Smitty) Welcome to Travels with Smitty! Hit it, Growler!
Gypsy: (drops down with Growler and his piano) And now, the Travels with Smitty theme, performed by Growler, the robot who plays the piano.
Servo: Can we do this for a host segment, please, Growler?
Growler: Yes, Tom Servo.
Servo: Their America’s back, and they’re going to ask the immortal question…
Crow: Whose America is it, anyway?
Servo: CROW!
Crow: It’s really great that their culture still thrives today despite centuries of murderous French Catholic hostility!!
Emily: No, Crow. That’s Hugenots.
GPC: Hermenaut !! Now with up to 10% less snotty hipsters than The Baffler !!!
More riffing, please!
My riffs:
Servo: Oscar Wilde is Hermenaut of the Month!
Crow: Hatebath? That’s Slotcar Hatebath to you.
Mike: I don’t think Nostradamus predicted Walt Disney.
Servo: I don’t think Kierkegaard listened to Liberace.
Crow: And I don’t think Socrates watched MST3K.
Mike: You’re not supposed to know that!
Crow: Oh. (whistles innocently)
Servo: Do we have to riff all of these people?
The extra E is for extra wild but he was really a pretty tame fellow.
GPC: “My mom was all about those Hermenaut Wouk beach novels. I was more a Jacqueline Susann fan myself.”
Emily: “This brunch menu’s too complicated. I just want ham and eggs, please!”
Tom Servo: I’ll take a Socrates and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Some other possibilities:
Crow: “Jonah, will you explain about ‘Wiggers’ for the folks back home?”
Jonah: “Not even if you paid me, Crow.”
–
(& regarding the actual cover pic)
Tom: “Caroline Munroe IS Jane Seymour IN Damien Chazelle’s Dazzler: the Motion Picture.”
Oh no my umbilicus!
Crow and Tom: Jorge and the Hermanauts…
Jonah: Fellas’, the “J” is pronounced like an “H,” okay? It’s Spanish!
Crow: Yeah? What’s Spanish for “Spolisport”?
Tom: Or “Pedant”?
GPC: He’s walking across Munchie’s pizza!!
Borges. Borges. Who said there ain’t no rhyme for Borges?