While MST3K is no stranger to movies that get dark and such (Sidehackers even if they cut that one scene, several horror movies), let’s say there was a spin-off where they could do movies with a more exploitative edge or more explicit content (not full on porn, but no censored nudity). What would be some movies that are too much for normal MST3K that would fit with Eclipse (named because darkness of the moon and such).
I’ll throw this one as the first entry that I learned about from an online reviewer I used to follow:
It’s a movie about a woman with a talking vagina if you didn’t know.
This movie is a whole new level of awful. It could probably have been funded by bringing some stuff from your storage closet to the pawnshop. The dialogue is terrible and the acting is worse than middle school stage play embarrassing. It’s really, really bad without even much gore for those who into that. As the tagline says, there is “nothing so appalling in the annals of horror,” but not the way they meant it. Of course, they could never do this film on MST3K because: Herschel Gordon Lewis.
In 1989 a stuntman by the name of John Stewart (no not that one) made a film to show off all of the special effects tricks he had learned over the years. Texas was the only state crazy enough to let him film it. This was that film.
Black Magic Woman. I riffed that one with the same friends who introduced me to MST3K. But I bet the show creators would have to handle it with kid gloves now that they’re almost Hollywood insiders. Too bad. It’s ridiculous and cheap. Like an episode of Red Shoe Diaries but without the depth of character.
Italian/American co-produced slasher filmed at Fort Lauderdale during Sprint Break featuring gratuitous nudity, gratuitous heavy metal, gratuitous violence, and gratuitous John Saxon!
A samurai frozen in ice wakes up after 400 years in Reagan’s America and he’s understandably upset about the whole situation. Featuring the original Kamen Rider himself Hiroshi Fujioka.
This and his other output of the time that I’ve seen has the feel of a transitional period between the era of burlesque and nudie cuties, and the rough stuff that was to come later. It indicates Ed Wood’s outlook was too wholesome and lighthearted to have translated to the grimy tastes of the later 70s and 80s.
