Movies that Need to be Riffed by the MST3K Gang

I was seriously bummed that we didn’t get much more of The Undersea Kingdom!

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So to cash in on Dino Delaurentiis’ version of KING KONG, fellow Italian filmmakers decided to do their own cheap knockoff:

YETI: GIANT OF THE 20th CENTURY!!!

  1. They could not afford to go to America, so they filmed it instead in Canada.

  2. When Yeti finally goes on a rampage, it’s a giant monster rampaging through Toronto… finally playing itself instead of standing in for American cities.

  3. It’s Italians trying to pretend to be Canadians in the 1970s. That results in as many questionable fashion choices as you can expect.

  4. The main Yeti actor is VERY committed to his performance giving a sexy smoldering facial expression at ALL times in his efforts to how his passion for a normal-sized actress.

  5. The theme song is a disco version of Orff’s “Carmena Burana” with added lyrics!

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Nearly twenty years later a different Italian film crew went to Fort Lauderdale to film their JAWS knockoff CRUEL JAWS. Rights could possibly be a nightmare for MST3k as the film recycles shark attack footage from the first three JAWS films without clearing permission.

On the other hand, it does an Ed Begley Jr. impersonator checking up on his aquarium owner pal Dag, who models his hair and mustache after Hulk Hogan for some reason. Dag looks after his wheel-chair using daughter while her two older brothers (who come off as knockoff versions of Ralph Macchio and Donnie Wahlberg) get mixed up in a Romeo & Juliet storyline with the daughter of an evil ascot-wearing industrialist trying to shut down the aquarium to open up a hotel with his two mafioso partners.

Oh, and there’s some Tiger Shark who was experimented on by the U.S. Military who has escaped and is eating people at random.

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Watch this short trailer (sans horrendous dialogue) and tell me The Dungeon of Harrow isn’t tailor-made for MST3K.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1sMhMaPL9SY" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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Uhm… you left your iframe unzipped…?

wh00pz

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My apologies, but my view shows it all. In any event, here’s the link to the trailer, and the link to the entire film, which appears to be in the public domain.

CLIP - https://youtu.be/1sMhMaPL9SY

FULL FILM - https://youtu.be/qMdY_wUqAI4

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I believe that it has been mentioned, but watching it now on Creature Features, I’d argue that The Milpitas Monster would be perfect for an experiment.

It’s amateurish and low-budget, but with a goofy charm. There’s teens with hot rods, zany townsfolk, and a weird, kaiju-like creature. It’s lazy, stagger-step pace has stretches yearning for riffs. And it’s all set in '70s suburbia and marinating in the sights, smells and styles of the time.

And I’m not convinced that the opening song wasn’t from a band influenced by The Band That Played California Lady.

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Cinematic Titanic re-riffed Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. All’s fair in love and riffing bad movies.

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I learned about this movie from MovieBob.

It’s a “must riff” movie for MST3K.

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More obnoxious “smart” White guys than in either Jungle Goddess or Fire Maidens ? How is that even possible?! :scream_cat:

Also, even Albert Glasser thinks the orchestration is too pushy.

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Devil’s Dynamite (1987). Super Astronaut combats bouncing vampires. It traumatized me in my teens.

I first encountered it in the 1970s on WTOL-11’s afternoon movie, The Big Show (with Dialing for Dollars). That was a fantastic cinematic education – one week might be Oscar winners, the next five days of Abbott and Costello, the next science fiction, then noir films, and the next Godzilla movies… it was glorious. The only better thing was Bill Kennedy at the Movies on WKBD-50 out of Detroit – Kennedy was a Hollywood bit player and discussed the movies he showed honestly and with the knowledge of an insider.

I miss local broadcasting, when everything that wasn’t local news didn’t have to be either network programming or infomercials. Some of the locally produced stuff was brilliant.

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Apartheid South Africa to boot, like Space Mutiny.

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For years I’ve had one top answer to this question: The Devil’s Rain (1975).

The cast features: Ernest Borgnine, Eddie Albert, Ida Lupino, William Shatner, Keenan Wynn,
Tom Skerritt
, and even Anton LaVey. Plus it features John Travolta’s 1st lines on camera!

On top of that cast the monsters look for all the world like Jim Henson’s Demon Babies. This was such perfect MST fodder my friends & I started writing a fan episode waaaaay back in the day in college but alas senior year mech. engineering workload kicked in and killed the free time needed to finish that project. Would absolutely love to see the bots take it on.

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dungeon_of_harrow

Can’t scroll through all of these entries, but is there no love for The Dungeon of Harrow? Perfect riffing movie. Here’s the link to the trailer, and the link to the entire film, which appears to be in the public domain.

CLIP - https://youtu.be/1sMhMaPL9SY

FULL FILM - The Dungeon of Harrow (1962) Horror Full Length Movie - YouTube

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No kidding. These jerks make John Agar more appealing by comparison.

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Same here. A local channel was how I learned about The Mask 3D. It was bookended with 3D Three Stooges shorts. Sadly, it became Fox years later. Yet it was a fun experience.

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The name alone screams MST3K.

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Here’s a worthy little-remembered gem: Around the World Under the Sea.

With Brian Kelly, David McCallum, Keenan Wynn, Marshall Thompson and
Lloyd (“by then, my lungs were bursting for air”) Bridges.
Every one of those stars has appeared in a Riff-Worthy movie.

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“It’s a gender-swapping Freaky Friday… on ICE!

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