Movies that should never be riffed by the MST3K gang

Lots of people say that some movie or other is so bad that it needs the MST3K treatment. What about the opposite of that?

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I’m still cheesed off about RT going after Carnival of Souls . :stuck_out_tongue:

Though it’s quite riffable, I suppose (because of so many logic lapses and plot holes, especially at the finish) I hope they leave Heaven Can Wait alone because it’s a childhood fave for me.

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It’s a shame Diabolik got riffed, and I think it resulted in the worst experiment and a low note to end the series on. So, I’ll say lay off anything else by Mario Bava, especially anything that stars the unearthly Barbara Steele.

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I’m the opposite as I enjoyed when they riff a favorite movie, Carnival of Souls and Diabolik among them… though Diabolik didn’t wind up all that funny to me. I was excited when it was announced.

William Castle’s the same, a favorite from my youth, love Castle, but also love that he’s been riffed on (Haunting of Hill House at Rifftrax, The Tingler by the Mads)

With this question, I’d lean towards those that I think are unriffable or would be difficult, too upsetting (like Child Bride, 1938, which was given a firm NO - by someone, MST or Rifftrax)

Though I’ve been proven wrong on the unriffable part, Rifftrax did a bang-up job on Mesa of Lost Women which is a big pile of nothing (people staring, guitar noodling). I used to think, “can’t be done”… then someone did it.

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I think this is one Frank said he screened for MST3K.

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For starters I’d say anything by Werner Herzog, Andrei Tarkovsky, Jean-Luc Godard, or Ranier Werner Fassbinder. Pretty much unriffable styles of film, and I wouldn’t be likely to enjoy mockery of them anyway. On the flipside I’d also like MST3K to stay away from deliberately bad and hollowly exploitative films (Asylum et al) which are unwatchable in any format. The original formula of choosing films which were earnest but incompetent is much better.

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Freaks. It’s just…don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t even think too hard about it. The subject matter was horrifying to the sensibilities at the time it was released, and I cannot imagine the reaction of the unprepared and unsuspecting audiences of today. It’s been banned for totally understandable reasons. I’m not saying you should never see it, in fact I think you probably should because it’s referenced often (one of us!) and before repeating that maybe know where it’s from but as far as riffing it goes, just skip this one.

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“Should never be riffed” is pretty darn subjective. I have favorite movies, like Aliens, that I’d probably not want to watch riffed, but I’d stop short of saying they shouldn’t be riffed.

That said, I guess comedies in general would qualify for this, but MST and RT already know this. Catalina Caper comes to mind. Not much of a comedy, but technically a comedy. Something classic, like Caddyshack or Airplane, would probably not be a good idea.

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I think the family I was born into, our sense of humor, kind of cheeky, self-deprecating, teasing… we had fun, but it gave me a thick skin about a lot of things, humor-wise. So while Jaws and the Wizard of Oz are all-time favorite movies, I still get a kick out of Rifftrax doing them.

But I understand that not everyone is like that. I had a friend who loved Harry Potter (and I enjoyed the books well enough), but I once made a small joke, very innocuous, nothing mean, but she blew up, “You know how important those books are to me, how would you like it if someone made a joke about the Beatles!?” — Uh, I’d laugh… she didn’t believe me but I pointed out The Rutles, Dana Carvey’s Paul McCartney skits, all the MST riffs, etc, etc… yeah I’d laugh.

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Thank you, actually.

No, I don’t give a damn about most flicks, but this is one of the great vile movies of all time.

Yes, the riffing is pretty mercilesss about the main character’s abiliity to play organ.

But, it’s a legitimate movie.

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Yeah, the worst things I can say about it are: it could be shorter, and Hilligloss looks a little old to have been out drag racing. But those are both common issues even in officially good movies. So big deal.

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Spoken like a true naïf.

Yeah. He did have the oiled up hair and the full percolator of coffee.

I think it’s best not to ask.

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Agreed. I wouldn’t literally demand they not riff a particular movie. I just feel like there’s some I wouldn’t get through riffed. I can be really sentimental about entertainment from my youth.

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Oh, you’re thinking of the guy who brought her the coffee after she took the church job. Candace Hilligloss played Mary.

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And I apologize for not getting Candace Hilligloss’s name right.

Yes, that’s the correct spelling.

She was kind of remarkable in this little picture.

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I used to have a little paperback anthology of old Mad magazine stuff and there was a dancer-singer in one story with the last name “Gluppergloss.” Obviously someone on staff had seen Carnival.

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No, you’re 100% right.

I think Candy H. did pretty good at the organ.

My only complaint is the constant complaining of the riffers…it wasn’t that bad on the organ.

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I would like to see a Blue Velvet with Trace and TV’s Frank unleashed. I don’t think the world is ready for that.

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Not that I think there’s ever a chance of them doing this one cuz it’s too popular probably, but I could never watch a riff of Clueless. I know it’s a very silly 90s teeny-bopper chic flick, but I love it so much. I don’t even watch it with my family cuz I can’t bear for anyone to make fun of it (only I’m allowed to do that :sweat_smile::joy:)

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I watch that episode more for the skits, but I think it’s still an all right episode. Not great, but good.

It’s possible that for many of us, the whole concept of Diabolik and its dated aesthetic just don’t translate well. (Also, I personally am intensely annoyed by John Law and his ONE facial expression.)

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