MST3K: The Terrible Reboot

Mystery Men Science Theater 3000

“Y’know I think that Joel Hodgson guy and that Joel Robinson guy… are the same guy.”

“Oh, don’t start that again! Hodgson wears glasses. Robinson doesn’t wear glasses!”

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All Star Shrug GIF

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Marvel Cinematic Universe 3000. Martin Scorsese, John Woo, and Quentin Tarantino are subjected to the entire MCU from the beginning to the end. Our film guys must withstand all the subplots, costumes, and special effects and talk their way through it.

Bond Girl 3000. Rose McGowan, Alyssa Milano, and Janeane Garofalo are forced to screen every Bond Film consecutively and keep their cool as they view Miss Galore, Octop@$$y, and Holly Goodhead strut their stuff in an endless loop.

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History Channel Hosts 3000. William Shatner, Dan Aykroyd, and Peyton Manning face watching bad history movies and provide whatever commentary they can. Conspiracies, the paranormal, and bad puns fly like the wind.

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Mercury Science Theater 3000

Subjects dress up all glam-rockish and sing a bunch of Queen covers. Scientists offer detailed critique and try to suffocate subjects under a dense cloud of all-knowing music snob snobbishness. Thankfully, it doesn’t work.

Except in Canada, where the whole thing’s switched around.

[lots of mutually profitable endorsement deals from various instrument purveyors follow. show easily funds itself for 25 glori-- er, terrible years] :wink:

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Silent Hill: Ascension is currently teaching a class in how not to reboot franchises…

Even Penny-Arcade had to comment:

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They start out every episode with a cringe worthy catch phrase that they shout instead of a theme song.
“WHAT IS UP MISTY NATION! THAT’S RIGHT, ITS ME CROW T ROBOT AND MY BEST PAL TOM SERVO, WORLD FAMOUS CHEESY MOVIE EXPERTS! AND BOY DO WE HAVE SOME STINKY GOUDA FOR YOU TODAY!”

Eliminate the mads. One person, better fit for a man but not critical, just holds the robots and does both of their voices. No actual ventriloquism.

No mads. No sets. The person just sits in a green screen in a picture in picture overlay with the videos being watched.

No writing. All of the videos riffed are pulled from Reddit or Discord and all of the riffing is just reading chat and live reacting to posted content and a movie that they don’t really watch all of.

Don’t forget to slap like, post a comment, and ring that bell to subscribe!

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Filmed completely in “react video” format - 1 large box for the film, 3 small boxes for the host and both bots to facetime with the viewer.

A live streaming chat that runs in the same area as the closed captioning.

Frequent breaks to discuss personal political and religious beliefs.

Let’s get on that influencer bandwagon, people. Chop chop

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Mystery Flatulence Theater 3000. All the riffs are just making it sound like characters farted.

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As terrible an idea for a reboot this is, I do think it would have made for a fun live event during the fundraiser or as intermittent content on twitch or YouTube. Not to be done seriously, but more like sketch humor.

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This thread is for terrible ideas, not world-shattering genius ideas.

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phillip terrance GIF by South Park

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Ghost Hunter Adventures 3000: the host and bots are forced to watch every episode ever filmed of the paranormal shows Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures and provide the alternate explanations for things the “stars” claim are paranormal.

Bonus points if they manage to sit through all the OTHER paranormal shows out there. We’d have content for YEARS.

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Macaron Science Theater 3000

Kinda’ like the cult Tom and Crow wanted to start, just with a different treat involved.

Oh, and it’s all in French, I suppose. Perhaps hijinks will ensue as there’s a Parisienne robot, a Cajun or Creole robot, and a Quebecois robot. With the host being from Haiti or maybe the Ivory Coast or the C.A.R. Hijinks ensue as everyone ostensibly speaks the same language but still none of them can readily understand one another.

Still, a nice dessert and a good cup of coffee can smooth over a lot of differences. It could work for a quarter-season or so.

I Love You Dessert GIF by Babybluecat

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Melancholy Science Theater 3000. The crew is locked into coffee shop mode and endures the most miserable indie films they can find. Lots of shots of raindrops running down windows during pointless monologues that the writer definitely didn’t wear out a thesaurus writing.

Did I mention I cried?

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WE’VE GOT ENNUI SIIIIGN!!!

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And trying to figure out which of them is the guilty party.

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Atom Egoyan is the new Sandy Frank

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Bad Cooking 3000. Alton Brown, Bobby Flay, and Guy Fieri are locked in a theater and shown bad cooking shows for days. Listen to their cries of help as they withstand bad recipe after bad recipe. “I bid you bad watching!!!”

image

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