MST3K: The Terrible Reboot

Holiday Mascot 3000. Join Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and Cupid as they screen the worst holiday movies ever!!! Christmas, Halloween, Valentine’s, Thanksgiving. No holiday is safe!!! Join the mascots on their fight for survival. Can they handle the stress?

1 Like

Nerds Unite 3000. Star Wars, Star Trek, and Marvel nerds are subjected to endless bad Sci-Fi and Fantasy flicks. Watch as RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! and THE FORCE WILL BE WITH THEM!!! Can the love of their fandom and their wits help them survive? Tune in next week! Same bad time! Same bad channel!

2 Likes

Mystery Science Telethon 3000… :speak_no_evil:

1 Like

Mystery Science Theater 3000… on Fox
(I could probably stop there)

D-list celebrity host, the bots are CGI and voiced by Frank Welker, there’s canned laughter.

Granted a 12 episode run as a mid-season replacement, it’s an overproduced mess. By episode 9, it somehow hits its stride and becomes cohesive and funny—then promptly cancelled.

6 Likes

Muffin Day Science Theater 3000

Kinga recoups the company’s terrible losses by forcing all her prisoners and staff alike into the boutique baking biz. They riff on bad, untested or undertested muffin recipes all across time and space and thus actually succeed in evolving a serviceable product as the season wears on.

All goes reasonably well until we learn that Dr. Kabahl’s also-immortal mom, Dr. Keto, is the real power behind the time-spanning purse strings. Or somethin’. :sos:

6 Likes

Memento Science Theater 3000

Somehow, it starts with Season 14 and a rebuilt Kingadome, and ends with everyone in layered 80s haircuts plus a resurrected Beeper and riffs about Michael Dukkakis in that darned tank.


Mentos Science Theater 3000

Every movie is required by law to feature Europeans doing embarrassing impressions of U.S.ains and smiling as awkwardly as possible while a cheesy jingle plays over and over again. But at least everything smells nice… kinda’… minty!

5 Likes

Miserly Streaming Theoretical 3000. As shepherded by Time Warner & Friends, they actually never air any of the new episodes but just toss them into the vault unseen as a tax write-off.

7 Likes

Oof. Too real.

4 Likes

Misty Silence Theater No Thousand. Harking back to a simpler time, you sit outside on a misty night and don’t make a sound. Nothing to see, nothing to hear.

Afterwards, someone comes up and tries to sell you on a ridiculous, made up ancient diet.

3 Likes

Can I put a hankie on my head?

5 Likes

Swatting at imaginary elves optional.

3 Likes

YOU MEAN WE CAN GET CRAIG FERGUSON?

3 Likes

Somehow I feel the terrible reboot needs to cast Rob Schneider as the test subject.

3 Likes

Right? I’d watch that.

2 Likes

No title for this one, but instead of merely riffing the movies, they have to meticulously edit themselves into every shot (seamlessly) while delivering riffs.

5 Likes

Meticulous Insertion Theater 3000

6 Likes

Mystery Whatever Theater Something.

Some old coots and retired B-girls gather in a bar with dim lighting, drink heavily, and hurl crass, incoherent insults at the small TV screen and at each other.

There are many disagreements, sometimes weapons are brandished, and the frequent, extended rants sometimes fill each episode entirely.

The only movies ever shown are Barfly and Road House. And sometimes Predator. But mostly Barfly.

2 Likes

Y’know with the right marketing, this would probably hit big.

Real Mysteries Of Science Theater Of Sturges
[Sponsored by Kawasaki and Old Milwaukee]

2 Likes

In partnership with Old Gold cigarettes, television repairmen of the midwest, and fine purveyors of brass knuckles in cooperation with paramedics everywhere.

2 Likes

“Riffing Wars”

An A&E made reboot. (Everything on that frigging channel is a WAR)

We start in 1988 and blow every possible disagreement between any person involved im the old show to a HUGE drama bomb. Then move along the years till we get to today and the BITTER HATEFUL rivalry (manufactured by Peter Graves and Jack Perkins of Biography) between the 3 main riffing camps and how they are always at each other’s throats. Finally newer episodes are each camp watching each other’s riffs and being generally nasty about it.

5 Likes