I can’t seem to get my shoelaces to hold together long enough to loop the ends around into a firm knot. That makes walking several miles unpleasant, and running even more so. Is there some kind of special shoelace for the functionally incompetent?
Use finger technology like in tv shows where it took two people to tie a bow on a present.
3 Likes
You want a “lace retention system”
I don’t have a link but they’re not expensive and are made by a number of manufacturers.
Not my favorite, but they can be trusted to hold tight over at least a few miles without re-cinching up the clasp. And they can be loosened to make any shoes basically “slip-ons” for just walking around town and such.
I think you can experiment with a few different knots, as well, but I can’t remember the names of the best ones. A sheet bend would work, I guess, but it’s been a long time since I was in the knowing-knots “business.” So, that would be Boy Scouts or whatever comes after that, like backpacking without a damned brownshirt uniform, like a real person.
Try the lace retention “system”: your laces will not come undone, and IME even if they get a tad loose, it just takes a few seconds to cinch them up quickly.
Those are steel-toed shoes I’m obligated to wear on the job, which don’t lace properly with a regular knot, and while I have three pairs or so of steel-toed numbers of different varieties, I liked the idea (but not so much I trust them on the job) so I put them on some regular trail runners and I like them well enough, I guess.
3 Likes
Okay you know how you start with a sort of semi-knot, where you’re really just twisting the two ends around each other once, and you pull that tight, then you start the actual bow-type knot? Like this:
(Edit: apparently this is an “overhand” knot)
Try twisting the loose ends around each other TWICE instead – provides a much firmer grip, but still comes loose easily when you do untie them. I hope that made sense.
I found the illustration at Ian’s Shoelace Site, it might have some useful knot types for you:
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/
4 Likes
You mean like run mister blue underneath yellow fellow one more time?
3 Likes
Exactly. It works surprisingly well, I find.
3 Likes
4 Likes
I object. The “I need your finger” excuse to start a sitcom conversation about some hot topic of the day (e.g. - the boy at school who doesn’t notice you) is a staple of television history and no double-under scheme is going to end it. Not on my watch!
3 Likes
You’re welcome!
7 Likes
As an aside, the pieces of plastic at the end of shoelaces are called “aglets.”
Now you can use that word in Scrabble.
3 Likes
Did you see the keyword for the thread? 
5 Likes
I did not!
4 Likes
You can get elastic laces that come in adult sizes that my son has used and they keep his shoes on fine. Sometimes it’s the lace itself that’s the problem, when I wear shoes that aren’t cons (which is very rarely) and have the round laces they never stay tied as long.
3 Likes
Come on everyone, it’s the 21st century. Surely we should be technologically beyond shoelaces by now.
4 Likes
We can’t even get beyond thunderdo—
Wait, I just said that.
7 Likes
Right?! It seems like a solvable problem. But we must be cautious voicing such concerns – there probably are 21st-century shoelace solutions percolating right now, and they likely involve embedded Bluetooth, remote kill-switches, terms and conditions, a subscription, a companion app, $100 million in venture capital and dreams of going public next week.
4 Likes
I should know better than to ask a semi-stupid question to a room full of wise-asses! Lol! You guys rule!
4 Likes
My mind, she is blown. I think I need to contact the Boy Scouts of America regarding some patches I should return.
5 Likes
Have you considered just walking on your hands?
5 Likes
I prefer
Mmmm…
There’s also the good old “double knot” which I think has been explained above. I still like the “lace retention system” combined with more elastic laces.
/* ETA and, hey, WTF happened to that B who just ran a 5K in exchange for some bison wieners and beer? She ought to know about this ess! I know how to jog for 5K and all that, and move ess, but I don’t know ess about what actual athletes shaving seconds off their times do.
To be fair to myself, though, I do know how to tie my shoes! Yay! 
*/
3 Likes