New Christmas Episode Suggestions

So, any guesses for what the new Christmas episode may be?

I think it’s fascinating that they’re saying all three hosts of the season will do this new holiday episode.

Personally I’d love them to do something from 1989 or earlier. There’s a ton of bad, modern Christmas films but I love when they find and use something that’s off the radar.

I’ve found some great options in foreign films, but haven’t found an English dubbed version unfortunately. :slightly_frowning_face:

Santa Claus: The Movie- this could be an option but honestly, I’m sure there are licensing and Rights issues that prevent it.

The Christmas Martian – this movie is a trainwreck and could be an option. As it’s only 60 minutes, this would be perfect with a holiday themed PSA/ short. This would probably be my highest hope.

Here Comes Santa Claus (aka I believe in Santa Claus)- again, a possibility, but who knows about the rights.

Santa’s Christmas Circus (with whizzo the clown) – this one would probably be hard and God knows what the rights are like.

There’s certainly some TV Movies that could work, and I do have a feeling that one of those titles may be a real contender for season 13, but I do have a personal bias as I prefer the more “cinematic” Christmas films released in theaters.

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If it’s Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, oh boy… Jonah, Emily, Joel, and the bots would be terrified!

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Noooo! Please anything but that. It was a painful slog when RiffTrax did it. There’s good bad, and then there’s bad. bad. Not sure even a three-way riffing could save that movie! :smiley:

EDIT: Okay, why did the system automatically remove the quote of the reply above? It also removed the fact that I was replying to SuperCutie … Strange.

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Happened to me too and I soon figured out it was because I quoted the entire post. I think if you take out something (like a punctuation mark), it should accept it.

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Well that’s just weird. Let’s see.

EDIT: yep, took out the period at the end and it kept the quote. Gotta say that’s one of the stranger things I’ve seen a forum do over the years.

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My personal choice for 4th MST3K Christmas special would unquestioningly have to be
Rudolph And Frosty’s Christmas In July (1979)

In terms of quite famously bad Christmas movies, this is the Phantom Menace of Rankin & Bass animated movies, only it didn’t make anywhere near as much money. It’s not public domain, but it might be worth checking out the licensing options nonetheless. It also includes the great scene of Rudolph hitting rock bottom so hard that he’s forced to snort glitter in his dressing room to try to recapture his fading magic.

In terms of live action movies that are still within the public domain, my next choice would be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1965):

While not strictly speaking a Christmas movie, it’s one of those bizarrely dubbed children’s matinees similar to Jack Frost that makes up in Russo-finnish insanity what it lacks in… Santainess. Really, I just want them to do this movie, period. Even if it isn’t a Christmas special.

Finally, there’s also the Christmas bizarropiece The Great Rupert (1950) which is the only Christmas movie I know of where a creepily stop-motioned taxidermied squirrel (who sometimes wears a tamoshanter and kilt and dances a highland fling) saves Christmas… by stealing from others.

On paper, it sounds like the perfect MST3K Christmas movie, if for no other reason that it’s 100% in the public domain. The problem is, that it’s also at least partially a comedy, headed by vaudeville legend Jimmy Duarte, who I’m positive must be one of Joel’s comedy gods, because he got referenced all the time during his era of the show, and pretty much every time Joel puffs himself up and goes larger than life over-the-top about something… he’s pulling a Jimmy Duarte. (Seriously, if you don’t know who he is, just do a YouTube search and about 20 MST3K references will suddenly make sense to you)

Jimmy plays things unusually straight in this movie. It’s a bit like casting George Burns to play George Bailey. But still… Comedy. Legend. God. And a bit like when Emmet Kelley shows up in the circus short, I can sort of see Joel freezing in the headlights and being unable to say anything bad, because how do you mock somebody like that, even if it’s not their best work?

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A movie that REALLY tried, but didn’t gel on any level - has to be The Nutcracker 3D It spins off the rails pretty quickly, and is just SO horrifically misguided and wrong-headed that I would love to see the film get MST3K’ed.
The Nutcracker 3D Trailer
s-l500

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Oooh, I remember this one. I can’t believe it’s an “untold story” over… nothin’. Well it’s a good thing I saw a bunch of Nutcracker plays that’re more accurate than this!

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This would be amazing to see riffed such a weird movie lol

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I haven’t seen it but I’m assuming it’s Rifftastic.

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I’ll see your Santa with muscles @TorgoTheDestroyer and raise with a Santa with muscles that hates his job:

Sadly, it isn’t exactly riffable. It’s hard to crack jokes at a movie that doesn’t take itself seriously.

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After today’s update, now I’m REALLY wondering what holiday film they were thinking of using! If they don’t get the rights to use it, I wonder if they’ll tell us what it was :slight_smile:

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Rifftrax did both of these, at least if I got the titles correct. So the rights might be negotiable if MST3K wants them.

https://www.rifftrax.com/i-believe-in-santa-claus

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This sounds amazing! A properly demented Christmas film indeed.

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While camping in my mom in step dad’s RV one VERY rainy Thanksgiving, we watched this thing on CMT. It goes from entertainingly bad to just downright disturbing, without losing its cutesy-ness. It’s just… Ugh. Our jaws were on the floor. The evil senator played by Kevin Pollack trying to put Santa out of business is the most normal thing about this flick. It’s just… yeah. I’d love to see what Joel/Jonah/Emily and the Bots can do with this monstrosity (provided CMT will relinquish this from their Christmas movie/Holiday-themed white noise schedule). https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2098799/

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Not entirely sure if it would be suited for riffing, but there was this TV movie from the 1980s called The Night They Saved Christmas. Or it could alternately be known as A Very Greenpeace Christmas. In essence, Santa’s operation is threatened by Big Oil and its insatiable thirst for Texas Tea.

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My two favorite Christmas movies aren’t suitable for riffing because they are such good films.

Rare Exports

RareExports

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas

But perhaps they could do the original holiday-themed slasher film, Black Christmas.

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How about 1986’s Babes In Toyland?

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Hmmm… in the most recent update about film rights, Matt mentions that getting the rights to “The Peanut Butter Solution” doesn’t seem like an option.

I think that “Attraction Distribution” (a Canadian company) has distribution rights for that… This is relevant as I think they also have the rights for “The Christmas Martian”.

Makes me think that “Christmas Martian” might also not be an option for the show either…that’s disappointing.

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It Happened One Christmas aka the Rule 63! It’s A Wonderful Life, which Joel Robinson felt such contempt for that he didn’t bother to remember its correct name. :smiley:

It’s not that great, but it does have Orson Welles as Mr. Potter, so it may not be bad enough. Then again, Casting found two gifted comedy actors (Marlo Thomas and Wayne Rogers) to star but cut all the original’s funny bits so they’d have no comedy to actually do. Also, there’s a major flub at the climax just… left in. Finally, there’s a really drawn-out pointless scene in a haunted house set that I guess was left from some earlier project…?

An American Christmas came out of that same mid-70s ABC remake mill and that one’s more unambiguously bad: doesn’t even have Welles to help ease the hurting. It’d be my first choice.

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