When he’s not organizing junior rodeos or meting out vigilante justice, what do you think that lovable old coot is up to?
Ponzi schemes of the Olllllllllllllllld West.
Ranching.
Growing pea plants in a bathtub hydroponics rig with the long-term goal of reproducing Gregor Mendel’s classic experiments in plant genetics. Sadly, it will be decades before someone can tell him that some of the original results were fudged and aren’t really reproducible.
Also, I suspect he makes methamphetamine using the old-timey still in the shack down by the holler.
Composing sonnets, arranging flowers, performing horrific experiments on mountain men, and writing mystery novels under the name of Dominique DuBois.
Walnuts? I hear that’s hard work. He should try pecan farmin’.
The old-time mother of old timer Billy Slater didn’t raise no old-time fool. No sirree! Old timer Billy Slater is keeping UP with the times. Most every day, you’ll see him up at the crack a’ dawn, out there coinin’ those bits and chainin’ those blocks – doin’ what a feller’s gotta do in the 21st century just to maintain his old-timey way of living.
Oh, and scrapbooking. Old timer Billy Slater is plum loco 'bout his scrapbooking.
Performing as a John Prine tribute act.
Reminiscing with Mr Wilson about those varmints who came through in '61, hopped a freight train and rode it all the way to hell.
The unstoppable advance of technology has shifted Billy’s interests to truck farmin’ and breedin’ the chicken o’ t’morrow.
He’s gonna have a sheep and a cow and breed horses.
He’s a surly truck farmer. Durn fine kisser, though. Mike knows.
He does Zumba on Tuesdays.
Eating Quaker Oats.
It’s the right thing to do.
I heared he bought sum Ameri… Amura… Americium offa sum Boy Scout to build the world’s fuhst nu-cu-lar powared semah-con-duc-ter fab. Whatevah teh heck that ’tis…
I think, every Saturday, he makes himself a big stack of flapjacks and watches cartoons. “That Gargamel feller is right, them Smurfs do look like they’d make for some mighty tasty vittles!”
Go on a killing spree at a remote Antarctic base.