Phishing Scammers

My future self would probably recognize the futility of warning my past self just as much as my present self does.

“So, Me, the world still exists in the future?”

(Actually, I know why. Tax reasons.)

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Really? I’ve already received 3 separate offers for a free iPhone 15

So glad I like my Samsung Galaxy S22 or I’d jump on that :rofl:

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Did you Authorized this payment ?

Attention Mr. Robertrude

Did you authorize Mr. Frank A Ortizmac of 5800 Hamilton St Suite 126 Sacramento, Ca 95834 to claim your IMF ( INTERNATIONALS MONETRARY FLUND ) funds valued (US5,700,000) five million, Seven hundreds of thousands US dollars from our BANK OF AMERICAS.

Below is account details presented by Mr. Frank A Ortizmac as he was to pay transfer charge to claim your fundeds into his bank account


Account Holders Frank A Ortizmac

Account Number: 420-400-27312


Please get back me for more clarifications if you didn’t not.


Mr. Zelly Willi

How did they know Robertrude was my alias :open_mouth:


How dare this impostor drag the ancient good name of Zelly Willi through the muck like that.

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Quick! They’re trying to steal the Ortizmac Flund!

Ahh, it’s just an anagram: M.C. Futon Lizard

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With the double negative, that means…carry the one…

I don’t know. I was told there would be no math.

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Re: Letter from Barr. Howard

Attn: Sir,

My name is Barr. Gilbert Howard, I am solicitor with Gilbert Howard LLP, Canada. It may surprise you to receive this letter from me, since there has been no previous correspondence between us. There is unclaimed “permanent life insurance policy” held by our deceased client.

The transaction pertains to unclaimed “Payable-on-Death” (“POD”) savings monetary deposit in sum of Nine Million Eight Hundred and Twenty Thousand United States Dollars ($9,820,000) The policy holder was one of our clients, Mr. Hans Schmidt who worked with Energy Company here in Canada. He died in accident in Toronto Canada, Nine years ago. Since His death no one has come forward for claim and all our efforts to locate His relatives have proved unsuccessful.

The insurance company code stipulates that “insured permanent policies” not claimed must be turned over to abandoned property division of state after 9 years. Therefore, I ask for your consent to be in partnership with me for claim of this policy benefit, If you permit me to add your name to policy, all proceeds will be processed on your behalf. I wish to point out that I want 10% of this money to be shared among charity organizations while the remaining 90% will be shared between us.

This is 100% risk free; I do have all necessary documentation to expedite process in highly professional and confidential manner. I will provide all relevant documents to substantiate your claim as beneficiary. This claim requires a high level of confidentiality and it may take up to thirty (30) business days, from date of receipt of your consent.

Contact me officially via email: :upside_down_face:

Your earliest response to this matter would be highly appreciated.

Have nice day.

Best regardings

Barr. Gilbert Howard (ESQ)
Gilbert Howard LLP

Hmm… He didn’t say how we would be splitting that 90% :thinking: I Call SHENANIGANS!! :disguised_face:

Ohhhh, is the great Barr. Gilbert Howard ESQ going to be scamming us today? :face_with_monocle:

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Do you receive my precious message?
waiting to hear from you.

This e-mail and any attached files are confidential and may be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee, any disclosure, reproduction, copying, distribution, or other dissemination or use of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this transmission in error please notify the sender immediately and then delete this mail.
E-mail transmission cannot be guaranteed to be secure or error free as information could be intercepted, corrupted, lost, destroyed, arrive late or incomplete, or contain viruses. The sender therefore does not accept liability for any errors or omissions in the contents of this message which arise as a result of e-mail transmission or changes to transmitted date not specifically approved by the sender.
If this e-mail or attached files contain information which do not relate to our professional activity we do not accept liability for such information.

No I did not receive your precious message, and based on your so-called legal jargon here, I don’t think I want to receive any precious messages from you :face_with_spiral_eyes:

Confidential Request

I decided to contact you do seek your assistance in this urgent matter that
requires trust and confidentiality.

My name is Mr. Mohammed Ali Khalaf,a senior Manager of a First Abu Dhabi
Bank (FAB).This is urgent, confidential and profitable business for both of
us Valued at Eighteen Million, Four Hundred Thousand United State
Dollars This fund is an excess of branch in which I am
senior manager made as profits last year. I have already submitted
approved End of Year 2022 report to my Head Office and they will never
know of this Excess. I have since then placed this amount Eighteen Million,
Four Hundred Thousand United state Dollars on
SUSPENSE SECURITY without beneficiary.

As senior Manager of bank, I cannot be directly connected to this
money, I am prompted to request for your assistance to receive this money
as beneficiary of funds. I want your cooperation to work with me in
sincerity so that corresponding bank where fund is presently
deposited will see you as beneficiary because I Will connect you with
bank, and they will prepare ATM Card and sent it to you through DHL.
Once you receive Money I will come to your country, we share it 50/50
each. Kindly get back to me if you are willingly and sincerely want to carry
out this transaction with me .

Best Regards,
Mohammed Ali Khalaf

Yeah don’t willingly and sincerely want to carry this out :roll_eyes:

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You can usually tell it’s a scam when it sounds too good to be true. Too convoluted and stupid to bother with is a fun variation!

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Today’s phone-borne theme is, Hi you’re approved for a loan you never actually applied for and also we don’t know your name but whatever.

[throws phone into the river]

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I am Mr. Jerome Smith , Contract Administrator with Qatar Energy.

It may be please you to know that there is investment opportunity of $120m USD for investment either in real estate or any profitable venture in your Country.

May I kindly request for you assistance and cooperation in helping to move this funds into designated Foreign Bank Account as contract payment from Qatar Energy .

Be reassured that this is very transparently and risky free transaction.

Please be back to me if you can handle this. Also note that my next email will come through my official Email address with Qatar Energy ( in order to provide myself and office.For further details reply me here :upside_down_face:

Bested regardings,

Jerome Smith
Contract Administrator.
Qatar Energy.

These 2 sentences right here:
“Be reassured that this is very transparently and risky free transaction. Please be back to me if you can handle this.”
Almost had me :thinking:


I can assure you from years as a lackey in corporate America, you can totally trust someone that stresses how transparent they are.

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We’ve issue a concern

In regards to Card member


Regular Report

We are pleased to inform you of timely report for your American Express(R) profile. At time of auto-reviewing profile report, it failed to meet full accuracy checker.

To avoid any future account detailing related issue with your account which may result in putting your account an hold, you are required to fill form below

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See secure form in linking above to prevent further restriction of your account.

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Your account informations is included above to help you recognize this as a super safe customer care e-mail from American Express. We kindly ask you not to reply this e-mail directly as messages are being sent from unmonitored e-mail address.

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Well I feel super safe knowing I do not have an AMEX card :roll_eyes:


I have excited opportunity to shares with yout. No financings obigations on you part. Interestingly? Let my kno.
Bestest regardeds,
Matilda Zacharaay

(PT) Esta mensagem da Defensoria Pública da União pode conter informação confidencial ou privilegiada, sendo seu sigilo protegido por lei. Se Vossa Senhoria não for o destinatário, ou a pessoa autorizada a receber esta mensagem, não deverá usar, copiar ou divulgar as informações nela contida, ou tomar qualquer ação baseada em seu conteúdo. Caso tenha recebido esta mensagem por engano, por favor, avise imediatamente ao remetente, respondendo ao email e em seguida apague-a. Agradecemos sua cooperação.

(EN) This message from the Federal Office of Public Defense, may contain confidential or privileged information, and its confidentiality is protected by law. If you are not the addressee or the authorized person to receive this message, you must not use it, copy it, disclose it or take any action based on it or any information herein. If you have received this message by mistake, please advise the sender immediately by replying the e-mail and then deleting it. Thank you for your cooperation.

Well I don’t have excited opportunity to share with yout :face_with_spiral_eyes:

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I don’t think their Spanish is any better than their English. (Oh wait, that’s supposed to be Portuguese…)

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Good. I hate obigations.

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