Phishing Scammers

Who’s going to tell them that “movie evaluator” isn’t a real job?

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From Mr Jamal Abdula

Dear Sir/Madam,

I know you might be super surprised to get my email, I got your contract through your embassy businesses journal. My name is Mr Jamal Abdula the special assistant to former Sudanese president Mr. Omar Hassan Ahmad al Bashir. I seek you approval to entrusted sum of USD 52 million into your careful for investedment purposes.

The funds were deposited with security company during last days of former president when it was clear to us that he would not be survivor of protest that erupted in Khartoum capital. He directed me when l visit him, to secure some trusted worthy Investor that would invest them funds for both parties for profits

For your informations, this transaction is really highly super confidential but no risk is involving. I will only present you to bank as Appointed Trustee/Asset Manager of them big funds

Responded to me through this email address: :upside_down_face:

Big Regardings,

Mr Jamal Abdula

Big funds, Big regardings… Sounds Bigly important :face_with_monocle:

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I’ll do a lot for love, but I won’t do that. Oh, sorry, I thought you said porpoises! Sure, I’m in!

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Dearest
from MISS.JENNY

I am Jenny a 16 years old girl orphan from Abidjan Cote d’ Ivoire.I have US$3,100,000,000 which I inherited from me late father and I now decided to leave this country because of wicked treatment that I am getting from my uncles and I want to transfer these money to your account to enable me come over your country to start new life and further my education while you invest money in lucrative business because my life is in big danger here, though we have never met each other in person but I believe that sometimes one need to risky confiding in another to succeed in this life.Please I need your help because my uncle has seized all that my late father left and only this money remains for me. Please for God’s sake rescue my life from the hand of wicked uncles as they are ready to terminate my life to make sure they succeed in taking all that my father left for me.Sincerely,Jenny

A 16 year old inheriting over $3 BILLION?? :money_mouth_face: Must be legit :roll_eyes:

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“That’s right, Jenny, I’m taking EVERYTHING! Everything but the 3 billion dollars!” twirls mustache

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REPRESENTATIVE OPENING
From : Koóš Ján

Hi ,

I apologize for my cold outreach of touch.
My company interested in your service as company consultand representative.

I have also reviewed your proofile on the Google and know your eligibility to help company.

Having of great day ahead.

Best Regardless,

Ching Keng

Chief Executive Officer

Xinyi Solar Holding Co., Ltd

Yeah that cold outreach of touch really moved me :face_with_spiral_eyes:

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I apologize for my cold outreach of touch.

I had a gynecologist say this to me once.

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For over 3 weeks, I didn’t receive a single spam email and now I’m getting at least 1 a day the last few days it seems…
Must be that time of the month :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Wait - can he get you a deal on slr pnls?

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One hour a day… so not even a whole movie?? :woman_shrugging::laughing:

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What’s a proofile??

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Proof i exist maybe :man_shrugging:

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I don’t see these all that often. No smartphone, and riseup (whatever its other problems) rarely lets spam through. If anything, it’s a bit overzealous about classifying certain legit mailings as spam. I could tinker with my settings, but I’m lazy.

Aaaanyway…

"Hellp!!! What’s new?

I have a passipn tp cpnnect with the lpve pf my life.

I carry many aspiratipns and plans I will dp everything ppssible tp bring jpy tp the man in my life.

With the hppe that getting tp knpw each pther wpn’t be a difficulty.

If ypu’re interested, please send me a message. I’m eager tp knpw ypu and cpntinue pur cpnversatipn."

I have np interest in cpntinuipng this cpnversatipn, thanks.

[downs half a jar of psyllium and calls in sick for a week]

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Apparently spam files can be confounded with a proliferation of the letter “p”. The letter “o” is right out.

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Scandalous to bring those poor assistant spammers into the office every day, but not pay them enough to buy sufficient vowels. :frowning:

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Kinda feels like if Monty Python were making the Flying Circus now, this would somehow be a sketch.

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“That p looks like a b.”

“No it doesn’t.”

(I was close. :grin: )

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ATTENTION DEARLY BENEFICIARY

This is Mrs Janet Yellen the secretary of Department of Treasury I am reaching out to inform you about some excitingly news regarding your compensation funds. After careful reviewing and verifications, it has been determined that you’re compensation fundings amount to an impressively sum of

$8 millions of dollars.

Additionally, I have some furthering good news to share with you. As part of your compensation packaging, a brand new Ford F-150. has been allcolated to your. The car is currently in our possessions and ready to be delivering to you at your convenience.

Kindly drop

Your full name…….?

Address ………………?

Phone number ………?

Occupation…….?

Age ………………?

Bank Accounts…?

God blessed you

Mrs Janet Yellen

Oh Boy! $8 millions of dollars :money_mouth_face:

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And don’t forget the bonus imaginary F-150 they threw in there. Too bad you’ll never know what they did with it since they stopped telling you mid-way through their sentence.

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I’m sorry, Mrs Janet Yellen, but your dense high-level economic jargon is just too complicated for a layman like me to follow. :thinking:

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