Punchlines Only, Please

Continuing the discussion from Disney's At It Again…:

And the penguin replied “No, that’s just ice cream.”

EDIT: Bonus points if you hear this guy’s voice in your head when you read the topic title.

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And the first guy says “Good thing we didn’t step in it.”

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It depends on how thin you slice 'em.

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“Murray, the ceiling needs painting.”

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But the handwriting was the First Lady’s.

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One to hold the lightbulb and two to spin the ladder around.

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“No soap radio.”

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But these oven mitts are just too big!

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Two, but don’t ask me how they got in there.

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Do you think we should tell him where the rocks are?

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Then the cow said, “Well it wasn’t me…”

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I sent two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?

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“No, he only howls when someone says ‘Coleman Francis’.”

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“Alligator bit him, crocogator bit him, that’s why he’s so mean!”

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“Gosh, what are you taking for it, mister?”
“Ragweed.”

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Rectum? Damn near killed em!

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Well on the one hand the garbage disposal is broken, but on the other hand you’ve got more fingers!

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…but if they called them ‘Sad Meals’, kids wouldn’t buy them!

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….and the final frontier!

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I guess that’s because all the coats are on the bed.

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