Show us your most recent mundane, stupid, non-MST3K accomplishment

And I write novels for fun and people tell me I should write novels and get paid.

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No, the real explanation is one minute into this timeless exchange here:

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It is possible to drink and write at the same time.

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No it isn’t!

"The words written by XXXXXXXX, and one notes the emphasis indicated by majuscule, “REQUIRED” and “MANDATORY” will lead any impartial observer to the same conclusion that XXXXXXX reached, and which will have since been resolved, one hopes.

We “require” that this written “warning” is to be stricken from XXXXXXXXXXXs records, effective immediately.

There are no ambiguities in the written communications from XXXX, and the __ associate took the XXXX employee’s written message to mean what it said (viz., the words, “mandatory” and “required,” and the implied consequences of noncompliance), and replied in a manner which used neither vulgarities nor untruths.

This matter will not be considered settled until this frivolous warning be stricken from the file of JimmyToots."

Well, I guess technically it’s possible…but (no is a real example from just now…and yet I still have about ⅓ a bottle of The Quiet Man yet!)…but is not bloody likely!

Haven’t reread before ejecting that “mighty” missive…probably some errors in grammar or whatever…but it’s … possible! Sort of!

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All things in moderation— Including moderation!

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Heh. That ship has sailed long ago, Cap’n! <no, that was actually a direct complaint to Big HR sent just now, with some redaction >

Don’t do no “trial runs” or “dry tests.” In it to win it. And by “win it” I mean “I survive to fight another day…and probably get a ‘talking to.’ by some rando at work who is fresh out of college.”

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Got a like from comedy legend Elayne Boosler on her Threads feed.

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Yeah, because it’s that easy. :roll_eyes:

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I managed to “write” a short message to one of my bosses!

And I didn’t even vomit or convulse in the process of being “nice.”

eatne

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Golly darn right I found ferromagnetic bit just now! Using a rad tool which obviates me bending over like too much an idjit!

Yield thou upon my works of sorcery! I command it!

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You lost that? In your rug? Dude.

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I have some nice pictures of my toenails…trust me. You know how the dudes in that movieTombstone grew their own moustaches?

Trust me, you don’t want further documentary evidence. Well, I might have stepped on it or something, but it was a real moment, you know?

He said I could take any rug, and I assure you, the rug is not the problem.

Actually, I’m still missing about three screws that I believe to be ferromagnetic…and this time some dude in KS is likely to follow three with about four hundred clams, plus shipping.

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Does this rug have, like, dense undergrowth with cutlasses and chain link tetanus sticking out everywhere?

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Yeah, well, like hey man, there was a beverage there!

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I mean, Jackie Treehorn is not the kind of guy you go up to and like, hey man, he’s drawing pictures and stuff, you know?

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No, man. You’re thinking of Karl Hungus.

If I’d dropped whatever that is while sitting in Fat Albert’s junkyard or on the Iron Throne, I could imagine having some trouble finding it.

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Hey, like, man I know that guy. It’s that guy from that movie.

Fine. You want gross? Here’s some toenails. This is what I reject the triune god and smoke thin black cigarettes every day.

My name’s Fat Abbot and I lose weight whenever I darned well feel like it, you effeminate brother man who is welcome to enjoy my sister, sir!

Fat Abbot draws a lot of water in this town.

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Ack foul! What did we ever do to you? Or your sister? Jeez gah dam.

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Nice!

I suspect my own place doesn’t go beyond “Good!”

Rock on soldier of fortune!

/* And my “accomplishment” is that I’ll probably go in to work tomorrow afternoon, but I forearmed myself by putting in advanced notices for unpaid time off at random intervals throughout my shift, citing as reasons that I required those intervals to interview for other jobs outside the company.

I also despise the manager on shift tomorrow: he is a fool, an imbecile, and a Cowboys fan. He has no positive attributes I can think of. He is lazy, nearly illiterate, has almost no ability to convey important details to his crew, and is, in short, a useless degenerate. */

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Yeah, admittedly that was a little cold."

But I accomplished this today. Almost.

I heard this tune once and it’s about forty-five minutes until I can go buy alcohol. Perhaps including some of the offerings of André’s finest.

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