Since MLB spring training has been cancelled...

Let’s revive this old Satellite News Weekend Discussion topic where we come up with our own Evil Baseball Promotions (from the Invention Exchange in Girl in Lovers Lane) to go along with Used Syringe Night and Toxic Odorless Gas Night. For my contribution, I give you Chocolate Bar Night, where everyone gets a free chocolate bar. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “There’s nothing evil about giving out free chocolate bars. Quite the opposite.” Well behold the subtle working of my talents! The catch is that the chocolate bars are really Ex-Lax. Okay, maybe not all that subtle. But if you though the restrooms at your team’s stadium were already disgusting, just wait.

6 Likes

Bottle Rockets for Everybody Night? 9-Volt Ice Cream Night?

1 Like

No home plate net night.

1 Like

Does Ten Cent Beer Night count as an evil promotion?

2 Likes

If not, it would be if the bathrooms had dime activated locks.

2 Likes

Are they sold in game-used athletic cups?

1 Like

Free Souvenir Bat Night.

6 Likes

Free Vaccine Night…but you don’t know what for.

2 Likes

Free range chicken night.

4 Likes

COVID Mask night…that you can’t remove
Or Lost Daughter Fruit Bowl Night (for those who saw that movie on Netflix)

1 Like

where you been?

1 Like

Done in conjunction with Bat Night would make it very evil

1 Like

G. Perry Spitball Night. Every kid gets a sponge ball that they can stick in their mouths to get fully soaked in spit.

(Unfortunately I can’t post Mr. Perry’s first name here, but baseball fans know the hall of fame pitcher I’m talking about).

1 Like

Free baby oil night

1 Like

Free t-shirt air cannon night. No t-shirts, just air cannons ready to fire anything you can stuff into them!

3 Likes

Free dental fillings night, stadium picks the toppings.

2 Likes

This, but without any form of anasthesia or drugs.

2 Likes

Free tax code trading card night. Nothing would pack the stands like packs of trading cards based on tax codes!

3 Likes

Great! We can burn them for heat when the next ice age is suddenly dropped on us by global warming.

1 Like

Sure, if it’s lite beer.

5 Likes