Taking MST3K Movie Titles a Bit Too Literally

I’ll go first.
Danger!! Death Ray: AAAAAHHHH!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!
Invasion USA: Oh yeah. We did take over the US of A so that we could get rid of every entitled Karens in the land.
Manos: The Hands of Fate: A giant hand crushed the whole earth with everyone in it to death
The Million Eyes of Sumuru: I bet she really does have a million eyes in each jar.
The Bubble: … it’s just a small bubble. Pop it.

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Teenage Caveman and Teenagers From Outer Space would have actual teenagers!

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Eegah would be a dramatic motion picture about that noise I make when I stub my toe on the coffee table.

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Monster A Go Go

Monsters go to concert of all female rock band!

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Munchie would have been about hungry stoners.

Mac & Me would have been an ode to Kraft Dinner from my daughter.

At Earth’s Core would be a documentary about magma.

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Mac and Me has a scene with M(a)cDonald’s!

Think About It GIF by Identity

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Riding with Death would be about the most high-stakes carpool EVER.

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Tormented would be about having to watch Manos and Hobgoblins in one evening.

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Hellcats would be about some awful housepets.

Escape 2000 would be about getting through the year of Y2K alive.

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Racket Girls would be a documentary about trying to make the WTA.

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Secret Agent Super-Dragon: A rollicking Pixar tale of three cute kid dragons in a trenchcoat, having comical misadventures, solving mysteries, and saving the local fruit orchard from evil condo developers.

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The Beatniks would be a movie about beatniks.
The Rebel Set would be about a bunch of rebellious teenagers.

Maybe they should have traded titles.

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Sidehackers follows the worldwide quest to make real pockets in womens wear mandatory at last. Tailor & designer dudes who don’t get with the program are sentenced to a full year of subsisting with all their own pockets sewn shut.

I know a thing or two about a thing or two, Sumuru… if that IS your real name…

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The Incredible Melting Man…depends on your defintion of “incredible”, but, yeah, there’s a man and he most certainly melts. Spoiler alert?

Daddy-O. Dick Contino looked like he was your father’s age. His song lyrics and fashion sense certainly made people say “oh.” (“She’s having second thoughts!”) Not sure if he’d be considered a “daddy” in 21st Century vernacular and don’t think I’ll risk a TOS violation attempting to elaborate.

The Sword and the Dragon. There’s indeed a sword and a dragon in there. But they’re only plot-relevant for a very small portion of the runtime. Got it. You could literally rename it “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” and it would make just as much sense, if not more!

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Cry Wilderness

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I know it’s Rifftrax but:

Shake Hands With Danger

Yeah, that actually does take its title too literally.

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The Bat Woman

image

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I was legit SO disappointed that Starfighters didn’t include any actual outer-space dogfights.

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Quest of the Delta Knights

The drummer for The Roots joins the chivalrous order of a major airline.

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