I’ll go first.
Danger!! Death Ray: AAAAAHHHH!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!
Invasion USA: Oh yeah. We did take over the US of A so that we could get rid of every entitled Karens in the land.
Manos: The Hands of Fate: A giant hand crushed the whole earth with everyone in it to death
The Million Eyes of Sumuru: I bet she really does have a million eyes in each jar.
The Bubble: … it’s just a small bubble. Pop it.
Teenage Caveman and Teenagers From Outer Space would have actual teenagers!
Eegah would be a dramatic motion picture about that noise I make when I stub my toe on the coffee table.
Monster A Go Go
Monsters go to concert of all female rock band!
Munchie would have been about hungry stoners.
Mac & Me would have been an ode to Kraft Dinner from my daughter.
At Earth’s Core would be a documentary about magma.
Mac and Me has a scene with M(a)cDonald’s!
Riding with Death would be about the most high-stakes carpool EVER.
Tormented would be about having to watch Manos and Hobgoblins in one evening.
Hellcats would be about some awful housepets.
Escape 2000 would be about getting through the year of Y2K alive.
Racket Girls would be a documentary about trying to make the WTA.
Secret Agent Super-Dragon: A rollicking Pixar tale of three cute kid dragons in a trenchcoat, having comical misadventures, solving mysteries, and saving the local fruit orchard from evil condo developers.
The Beatniks would be a movie about beatniks.
The Rebel Set would be about a bunch of rebellious teenagers.
Maybe they should have traded titles.
Sidehackers follows the worldwide quest to make real pockets in womens wear mandatory at last. Tailor & designer dudes who don’t get with the program are sentenced to a full year of subsisting with all their own pockets sewn shut.
I know a thing or two about a thing or two, Sumuru… if that IS your real name…
The Incredible Melting Man…depends on your defintion of “incredible”, but, yeah, there’s a man and he most certainly melts. Spoiler alert?
Daddy-O. Dick Contino looked like he was your father’s age. His song lyrics and fashion sense certainly made people say “oh.” (“She’s having second thoughts!”) Not sure if he’d be considered a “daddy” in 21st Century vernacular and don’t think I’ll risk a TOS violation attempting to elaborate.
The Sword and the Dragon. There’s indeed a sword and a dragon in there. But they’re only plot-relevant for a very small portion of the runtime. Got it. You could literally rename it “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” and it would make just as much sense, if not more!
Cry Wilderness
I know it’s Rifftrax but:
Shake Hands With Danger
Yeah, that actually does take its title too literally.
The Bat Woman
I was legit SO disappointed that Starfighters didn’t include any actual outer-space dogfights.
Quest of the Delta Knights
The drummer for The Roots joins the chivalrous order of a major airline.