âThat Turkules is one baaaadâŚâ
âSHUT YOâ GOBBLER!!â
(Etc.)
White Dot has her own thread. Shouldnât he?
Hitting the gym and guzzling protein shakes every day now, so that by next Thanksgiving I can cosplay convincingly as the new best supporting character ever!! 
Heâs my favorite abomination ever!
Gobble gobble!
If only he couldâve met Adam West. [sigh]
Who doesnât love a holiday abomination? Turkules forever, I say!
I canât wait to get my Turkules Action Playset.
Turkules, people are stuffed after eating him
Turkules, only the food poisoned fear him
Softness in his eyes, we love his tasty thighs
Thereâs a burning in the heart, a fire in every fart
After consuming⌠Turkules!
(sung to the tune of "The Mighty Hercules)
Working on some fan art now for that defunct canned soup line. He and Ann Miller are dancing together in front of a big olâ pyramid made of turkey soup cans.
Oh, if I had any artistic talent I would subject you people to an endless stream of The Unspeakable Adventures of Turkules.
Indeed! Easter has the Bunny, Christmas has creepy laughing reindeer, and now Thanksgiving has its own atrocity.
These are actually quite disturbing, now that I think about it. 
The perfect Christmas movie:
Turkules vs. the Ice Cream Bunny
Naturally, it takes place in Florida, and it ends with Turk tossing Santa and the Bunny to the North Pole
@timryder called him a âfreak of natureâ on Reddit and I dispute this. He is an artificially-created freak. So if anything, heâs a freak of unnature.
Anyway, heâs some sort of freak.
Heâs the one turkey that doesnât make you sleepy!
âHeâs a very special bird⌠The kind you donât serve up to MamaâŚâ
âIâm so full of tryptophan I can barely keep my eyes open.â
Iâll just drop this here. Because if thereâs anyone who needs Turkules right nowâŚ
Turkules or Ben Murphy. Either will do.
Turkules, or as I like to call Kinga and Synthiaâs talking Manos.
Wild turkeys are mean little dinosaurs with big sharp spurs on their legs. Stay far away from them.
Still safer to be around than most retail shopping establishments right now. 
~~~
Iâve tangled with a Muscovy duck and have the scar to remember it by. I can upscale that to turkey.
âStallone. Schwarznegger.â
âKEVIN.â 
Every year at Skywalker Ranch weâd get âwarningsâ about how territorial turkeys are, and there would always be stories about some of them. They hardly seem to share a brain cell among the lot, but⌠they find ways to be complete twits. You get good laughs when they fly, esp on landing; about as aerodynamic as a football strapped to a ferret.